Have you ever wished you didn’t have to wear a shirt? Have you ever found yourself taking your shirt off for no reason? How about having dreams that you’re shirtless? Yeah!? Me neither…
Seriously though, I do find myself working out, doing chores, doing side work, running, and even biking without my shirt. I am not trying to be a show-off, but I just prefer being shirtless. I know most of the time it doesn’t make sense, but sometimes it does. It’s like when Tim and I were doing some side work at a friend’s house and it was 100 degrees outside. I was shirtless before you could say “it’s a scorcher out here”. Tim on the other hand just sweated it right out with his shirt on. Crazy! I asked him why he still had his shirt on, to which he replied, “I am just not a shirtless kind of guy”. What? I didn’t know there was any other type.
Tim’s words inspired thought in my head, “why do I feel a compulsion to be shirtless?” To which I must reply, I grew up this way. I can remember having no shirt and no shoes from May to October for like 9 years of my life. I didn’t burn in the sun and could run a 8 minute mile on gravel! It’s how I was raised, that’s my excuse and I am sticking to it!
Running and biking shirtless is funny to me because if I am competing, I usually have spandex on, and people’s eyes are fun to watch. The either look so hard that you feel naked or they immediately divert their eyes like my shirtless-ness is burning their peepers right out of their head. It’s laughable and entertaining. If I run with a pretty girl in spandex some of the guys are really torn. You can see the internal conflict, “should I look?”, “what if I see the dude with no shirt looking at me?” , “I can’t look”, “but there is a girl, I have to look”, “AHAH! my eyes!”
If you read this and are wondering what you should do, I say, if you got it, flaunt it. If you don’t… Flaunt it anyway. Flex those man titties till the cows come home, or someone asks you to stop. Rock it! Topless! I like my coffee with a nice muffin top! Is that a third nipple or are you just happy to see me? Put that thing away before I lose my lunch in it. Is that a coin slot or a tunnel to china? I don’t want to know just put it away!