I was a little late getting my weekly Facebook statuses post done today, it is almost 1AM here in Music City and I am up, reading statuses for you people, duh. I’m getting a little hungry, a purple sweet potatoe baked in butter and coconut oil sounds tasty.
Today‚Äôs best Facebook statuses currently being used by my friends (on Facebook that is) are listed below.
(names will remain anonymous)
1.) “Dear pets, stop shedding. As a pet owner the battle to stay ahead of your fur is constant and consistent.” – (My first question is “how did you teach them to read?” and my second is “how did you teach them to log into Facebook? I hope they listen.”)
2.) “Just saw the most beautiful girl with a kebab” – (I’ve been wondering where the most beautiful girl with a kebab might be.)
3.) “…today i realized that i am a mule” – (Ouch!)
4.) “I didn’t even realize it was possible, but I think my roommate somehow managed to buy “half ply” toilet paper. The economy is affecting us all.” – (“Remind me not to shake your hand any time soon.”)
5.) “has no popsicles, a temperature of 102, a broken cell phone and is in desperate need of a mani/pedi!!!!! I just want to sit on the floor and cry!!!!” – (Somebody needs a paleta. 🙂 )
6.) “Alright Smalls, Benny, and Squints, he grew big and he grew mean, so he could protect the junkyard with only one thing on his mind: to kill anyone who broke in. And he did, and he liked it! A LOT!! And do you know what I like? Going to bed!” – (Oh yeah, well you play ball like a girl!)
7.) “The sun is filled with ice and gives no warmth at all; the sky was never blue. Stars are raindrops looking for a place to fall, and I never cared for you.” – (Are you a poet but don’t know it? You sure show it!)
8.) “is fooding.”
9.) “I just killed a ginormous bug with Natalie’s support over the phone. I should not live alone.” – (Someone should start a bug killing hotline, I bet they would make good money and meet some nice single girls at the same time.)
10.) “Just ate a purple Sweet Potatoe and is into it!”
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