There are certain phrases that sound like you are being very respectful when, in all actuality, they are very rude and meant to be insulting. You know which ones they are because you have used them on a number of occasions. I don‚Äôt know who the first person was who coined the phrase ‚Äúno offense,‚Äù but he/she was a jerk. In essence, when you premise a statement by saying ‚Äúno offense,‚Äù you are preparing that person to be insulted right then and there.
Example: No offense, but you are a stupid dummy.
It‚Äôs the ‚Äúbut‚Äù that lets you know it‚Äôs coming. Another sneaky one is ‚Äúwith all due respect.‚Äù This one sounds more distinguished and eloquent, but it is actually worse than ‚Äúno offense‚Äù because you are basically telling the person that they deserve no respect whatsoever!
Example: With all due respect, ma‚Äôam, you are a stupid dummy.
Notice the use of ‚Äúma‚Äôam‚Äù in that example. It‚Äôs kind of like slapping someone with a glove (like in the old days).
The bottom line is this: when you start off a sentence with ‚Äúno offense,‚Äù you are preparing them to be offended. When you begin with ‚Äúwith all due respect,‚Äù someone is about to be disrespected. It kind of cuts a little deeper when you set someone up and then smack them down. So, with all due respect, unless you know how to use these phrases, don‚Äôt. No offense, reader, but it doesn‚Äôt seem like you are capable.