I‚Äôm not so audacious as to suppose that I could tell you how to better do your job. I do however believe that I could tell you how to better not do your job. You see, a lot of people think being lazy is easy. Well, that‚Äôs because it is. However, being lazy and simultaneously convincing others that you‚Äôre not is an art that few truly take the time to perfect. Follow these guidelines and I assure you, you‚Äôll be not doing your job better than ever.
My roommate Randy and I have ants. No, my roommate Randy and I have Spartan warrior ants. They don’t die. We spray and we spray. They are legion… and I am now convinced that they are of some new government breed… with adamantium exoskeletons.