Yeah, I hear you! Some girls know which way is North but they were told by men. North is important, but leadership is a must. If he is a good man he will head North, kill his own meat, start a fire (climate control) and then grill the meat.

Climate control is not necessarily a manicle but it comes close. You see, we as men should posses common sense for ourselves and for the women we love. So when she tried to shut the heat off in the car after only moving down the road about 3 miles, you can tell her that she is not qualified to make that decision. Turning the heat completely off is not an option. You can ask to turn it down, but you must not touch a mans knobs. At least not while he is driving anyway.

Fellahs, the proper way to heat a vehicle for a road trip to anywhere, is to turn the fan dial to #2 and the heat needs to start at the hottest setting. Once desired tempurature is reached you can tap the heat down to the 3/4 mark. If it is still too hot then you may move the setting to the midway mark. This should suffice so long as there isn’t any women in the car that want it off.

Women are either really cold or really hot, never comfortable. It can be annoying as far as climate control goes. If you are just dating you must ask her for her opinion and allow a little bit of room for her to touch the heater. After about 6 months of dating she should know what the deal is when riding in the car. If she is not married to you in a year then you are in luck! There is still time to get out… Just kidding!!!

First, we are assuming you are watching the flick with a chick… because… let’s be serious, why else would you be watching it. You see fellas, you still want to be around the girl. Who else is going to cook your food and do the laundry? So, you just need to be prepared ahead of the time for the chick flick. There are several things that can get you through a chick flick unscathed and actually allow you to have a good time.

1) A large mug and beer.
2) Food (obvious)
3) Earbuds so you can have one ear (the one opposite your lady friend) listening to music or sports (make it as unobtrusive as possible, like put the wire down your shirt).
4) A foot rest.
5) Knowing that by watching the flick you get leverage for the next movie pick.

Some additional tips which can prove invaluable:

1) Lull your lady friend to sleep and when she eventually gives in you can fast forward the movie or watch sports… always be ready to switch it back to the movie.
2) A planned emergency call from a buddy if things go south (a good way to cue this is a code word via texting).
3) Note certain phrases in the movie that are romantic so that you can woo her with them later… or discuss them and show that you were attentive.
4) If you decide you don’t like the girl in the middle of the movie, then just start crying and say “It’s just too much, it brings back too many memories” and then walk out.

These are just a few ways we here at WhatToDoAbout.com have learned. If you have any expertise to share, please do not hold back your wisdom. I hope that this has enlightened you… be brave… oh be brave.

Well, this is my life, maybe not all of my life, but a good majority of it. I get questions all of the time about everything. You know what? I think I shall list them, would that be a good idea? Should I do that? Ok here goes:

-what time are you going to be home?
-are you ready to eat?
-how was your sleep?
-did everything come out ok?
-whats wrong?
-what?
-what do you want for dinner?
-what time do you want up in the morning?
-do you get paid?
-where is the money?
-will you take out the trash?

I know, I know, you think you have figured out that this is another article about my wife. Well, you are wrong! It’s an article about life and love, no really… let me explain.

You spend your life asking yourself questions like: Is she the one? Is this the right job for me? When should I do this or that? Then you find a lady you love and it’s like she is your answer to all of life’s questions. For the most part you are right, but with answers, come more questions. If you don’t believe me, then clearly you are not married.

The good news, and yes, there is some good news, is that you can count on her love and support if she does answer all your questions about life and love. But there are stages in this question game.

First year, probably few questions, somewhere between 2-4 a day. Years 3 to 5, there are questions but you still haven’t noticed the frequency, more like 5-10 a day. Year 6 and up, well, here not only are you onto the questions game, you now realize that they are in fact questions with no point, or have obvious answers. These are questions that make you start noticing the fact that now you are being asked multiple questions, like an uzzy shooting questions like bullets at a large target, you will soon find yourself ducking behind furniture and around walls.

What happens at the later stages is something that women call “selective hearing” when in fact it’s question avoidance at its finest. Some of the true veterans of the game have fooled their spouse into believing that they are in fact deaf in one hear. To them I will salute, you sir(s) are true winners!

To the rest of you, this is worth the trade for somebody being your soulmate, but if you can slow the process, do it anyway possible. Godspeed men… Godspeed!

When you bump into someone they immediately are thinking, “Ok, I am gonna punch you in the neck unless you say excuse me.” At least that’s what I am thinking and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Some people are not very forgiving. They might kick you in the shins or in your knee pit. There is such an easy remedy… “Excuse me!” But don’t do it sarcastically. This is even worse than not saying anything at all. Don’t say “Get out of my way, Chief” or “Watch it, Friend.” You are just picking a fight and you know it. If it is your fault, acknowledge it. Simple as that. Piece of cake. Over and done with.

One event that is always fun is the inevitable game of chicken at the mall. This is one of the reasons I hate going to the mall. In this country, people tend to walk/drive on the right side of the road. Why is the mall the only place that doesn’t apply?! You know what I’m talking about. When someone is walking directly at you, you should make a move. It should be to the right and it should be immediately. If you wait too long, you can end up in a little waltz with a stranger in the middle of a hundred people. Nothing is more embarrassing. There are some who are larger in stature that decide they are going to just keep walking. If you bump into them it’s your fault. Well, that is why you need to make the first move. Don’t see it as a sign of weakness, just do it!

The worst offenders are the ones that bump and just keep on going like nothing happened. I got bumped and ignored by this father walking his daughter out of a candy store the other day. I almost through a kiwi flavored jelly bean in his eye, but he was with his daughter. He is a lucky man. Very lucky.

Do the right thing people.

I am sure there are times when taking initiative is bad. Like when you really have no clue what you are doing and just want to look like you do. In that case you will most likely screw up whatever you are trying to do and it will need to be redone.

Most things are great though and taking initiative in them can mark a great improvement in your life. Let’s say your parents or spouse or roommate is always asking you to do something or they do something regularly that you decide to take some initiative on and do it yourself either for them or for yourself. Well that’s refreshing isn’t it?

You may think you just did more work for no reward but you would be wrong. Not only does it give you a sense of accomplishment, but more importantly it will really help your relationship with that other person. it shows thought, care, and love.

So fill the dishwasher, take out the trash, open the door, shine some shoes… and the next time you need a psychologist’s help… don’t pay them $300 an hour… just come here to WhatToDoAbout.com and pay us. We know what you need. Take some initiative and get your life straightened out.

Example: No offense, but you are a stupid dummy.

It’s the “but” that lets you know it’s coming. Another sneaky one is “with all due respect.” This one sounds more distinguished and eloquent, but it is actually worse than “no offense” because you are basically telling the person that they deserve no respect whatsoever!

Example: With all due respect, ma’am, you are a stupid dummy.

Notice the use of “ma’am” in that example. It’s kind of like slapping someone with a glove (like in the old days).

The bottom line is this: when you start off a sentence with “no offense,” you are preparing them to be offended. When you begin with “with all due respect,” someone is about to be disrespected. It kind of cuts a little deeper when you set someone up and then smack them down. So, with all due respect, unless you know how to use these phrases, don’t. No offense, reader, but it doesn’t seem like you are capable.

I have two sets of friends. One set will go anywhere I want to go with little resistance, the other set has prerequisites for hanging out, they need to know exactly what we are doing and where we are going. This latter set of friends will also be just fine with hanging out at somebody’s house watching a movie. Unfortunately these friends have heard all of my jokes and they are very used to my sense of humor so they laugh a little less. Having said that, group number 2 knows me so well that we always have a quality time no matter what we are doing.

With new friends you never know. If you have one new friend you can just give them a hard time all night and you can make it fun for at least a little while, till they cry that is.  New friends take a little bit of work too. You have to tell them that your just kidding and “no, I really don’t go get hammered every night”, or “no, I don’t really smoke reefer either”.

You have to baby the new friends…you know, like if you hurt their feelings. This can be a little exhausting…but rewarding in the end. If I had a glass to raise to my new friends I would say it‚Äôs good to have you and good luck, your going to need it.

To my old friends thanks for putting up with my crappy jokes and always looking out for me. Now I have to think of new things to do with my old friends and old things to do with my new friends.

In case you don’t know what I am talking about, a close talker is a person who gets uncomfortably close to you when they talk to you. Their face is extremely close to yours and they don’t give you any personal or privacy space. They do not honor the comfortable 3 feet rule.

SO let me give you some helpful tips to employ which may help you feel less uncomfortable and better able to communicate.

Your first inclination may be to back up. While this may work some of the time, it really is a rookie mistake. The close talker is trying to engage you and will just move closer and before you know it you will end up against a wall or railing with nowhere to go.

Next, you may try to hold your arms out a bit to try and give you some space. Maybe you can act like you are checking your phone while holding it out in front of you. This technique doesn’t always provide the best results.

The best technique I have found is the leg out in front technique. Before the close talker can get to you, stand with one leg out in front of you and lean back on the other. That way, your front foot will act as a barrier for the close talker. Combined with continual side switching and turning your body you can really work some extra space for yourself. The close talker may find you a bit fidgety but this can be easily passed off as preoccupation while you are talking to them.

So watch out for those close talkers. Remember the 3 feet rule, work the techniques, and you will come out ok.

Many of you out there may have the notion of getting married or already are engaged. Some of you have been married for some time now and don’t have to read this. But this will be helpful to the majority of you out there who are single. So begins my story.

I have been married for two months now. The worst two months of my life. Wait, no, I once had food poisoning that kept me at bed rest or on the toilet for a period of time. While I was engaged all of my male friends would say to me jokingly “It’s not too late, you can still get out.” What were they talking about, I thought marriage would be the best decision I would ever make. A life long companion, always having someone to go out with, she would help me with the bills and house chores and of course the guarantee of sex. Oh the sex. It was great (and existent) while on the honeymoon. Is the stress of every day life that much that you can’t even give your man a little lovin’. I’m not going to throw out numbers but any man would agree that every married couple should be doing it more than we are.

And what about all the other problems. I read an article that says the top reason for divorce is money. Now I know she will remember meeting with the pastor that married us and him telling us that one of us needs to be in charge of the finances. And what did we decide. ME. But who just bought Cirque du Sole tickets for her mom’s birthday, that was three months ago. How does that even make sense. There are other problems that are worth talking about but can be fixed more easily. Her cooking is horrible. She doesn’t clean the house. She leaves her wet towel on the bedroom floor. And I think she has a drinking problem. Many of you are thinking that I am unhappy in my marriage… that is untrue. All I’m saying is “It’s not too late, you can still get out.”

Passive – accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or action.

Aggressive – ready or likely to attack or confront.

An oxymoron at it’s finest. I have come into the realization that I fell under the spell of folk of these parameters quite easily. I never knew the role I played in the game either. I’m sure you’ve met a passive aggressive at some point in time or another. You may even be one. If you happen to be unfamiliar with this term I will explain to clarify.

This is a relational response to the undesirable things someone doesn’t wish to directly deal with. There is lots of ambiguity, blaming of others, sarcasm, competitive attitude for no reason other than fearing competition. There is also, lying, resentment, isolation, chronic lateness and forgetfulness (which I believe isn’t forgetting as much as it is choosing to forget). There is even a passive aggressive disorder. I can’t buy that one though as if it was a medical thing. It’s more of a heart disorder. I’d have to agree with ‘Cecil Adams’,
   
“Merely being passive-aggressive isn’t a disorder but a behavior ‚Äî sometimes a perfectly rational behavior, which lets you dodge unpleasant chores while avoiding confrontation. It’s only pathological if it’s a habitual, crippling response reflecting a pervasively pessimistic attitude.”

This a self inflicted wound. And one that inflicts everyone around the supposed “victim.” It hides in the most convincing disguise. In the most direct description it is manipulation. It’s a tool someone uses to sway others into doing what they want through the above mentioned unmentionables; ambiguity, etc. Did you ever have a time growing up when someone was mad at you and gave you the silent treatment? This is a very simple, obvious, and early form of passive aggression. Think of some spoiled kid crossing his/her arms and turning slightly to the side with a pouty ‘hmph’ noise to show their displeasure with not getting what they wanted. Sounds ridiculous, but this is an underlying personality thing that many utilize their whole life well into old age if not treated properly.

It’s also self deception. Fear is what drives these actions. For whatever reason a soul feels they can not confront anyone in a civilized manner, because rejection is too hard to take. They fear upsetting someone and being scolded or confronted themselves about something they want so desperately to ignore is even there. There is a book called Approval Addiction by Joyce Meyers, This deals with people on both ends of the spectrum of manipulation in relationships, but more with a pushover type of personality. I highly recommend it.

So what do you do about this issue. Well, if you are dealing with someone else with this struggle then check yourself first. You may be like I was for so long, a victim who got manipulated and didn’t realize I didn’t have to please everyone. Often when just being yourself instead of giving in to the silent demands of another, they will give up and cut out the BS or they will get even more upset and stop being around you. Either way it’s better to follow what you know is the right thing to do and not be fake. Sometimes people need a kick in the pants to get them straightened out. But kick them with fuzzy slippers instead of steel-toed combat boots.

Another thing to help this is to practice getting your mind set on what it is thinking. Sounds odd, but it’s simple. There is this dude who wrote a book of the Bible named James and said ¬†¬† ¬†

“Above all, my brothers, do not swear‚Äînot by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your “Yes” be yes, and your “No,” no, or you will be condemned.”

Simplicity! Say what you mean and mean what you say. Do what you know you should do and be honest. Honesty is the key to get out of this prison. If you can’t be open about what is really going on then you are in reality lying.

Now if you are someone who is the passive aggressor I’d say honesty again is the answer. People can’t read your mind. So, cut it out and be straight forward. It’s a lame way to deal with problems. I myself don’t even pay any attention when I’m responded to this way. If you can’t say to my face what needs to be said then you must not feel that strong about it. Which I know you probably do, but are to scared to deal with it like an adult. This is harsh, but that’s my personality flaw and gift at the moment.

Think about what matters most in life. The Simpson’s Movie gave this great moral epiphany to Homer that if he didn’t care about people and didn’t have anyone then he was nothing himself, because without relationships we have no purpose.¬† And with behavior like passive aggression you will end up with no true friends. You’ll only be around people who are willing to cope with your attitudes.