1991 3 – 13
1992 5 – 11
1993 3 – 13
1994 3 – 13
1995 7 – 9
1996 8 – 8
1997 7 – 9
1998 3 – 13
1999 4 – 12
2000 4 – 12
2001 6 – 10
2002 2 – 14
2003 8 – 8
2004 8 – 8

Then I experienced 1 glory year:

2005 11 – 5 (The Bengals won the AFC North, but lost in the AFC Wild-Card playoff game to Pittsburgh, a game in which many (myself included) thought the Bengals would win until quarterback Carson Palmer was injured on the second play of the game.)

Followed by 3 more non-winning seasons:

2006 8 – 8
2007 7 – 9
2008 4 – 11 – 1

So, what should you do if you’re supposed to be part of a team represented by a fierce Indian killer cat but instead others refer to you as group of clumsy inept sports performers? I’ll tell you what you should do! Do exactly what the 2009 Cincinnati Bengals are doing so far this season.

1st – Start off your first game of the season playing like the better team and leading the game against the Denver Broncos with 28 seconds remaining only to lose on a fluke tipped pass that miraculously lands in the hands of a streaking receiver who races in to score a touchdown which results in a heartbreaking 12-7 loss. Same old Bengals! Or so we thought.

Next, you follow that with 4 straight wins, the first being on the road at Green Bay (31-24) and the next three against division opponents at home against Pittsburgh (23-20), at Cleveland (23-20 in overtime), and at Baltimore (17-14). Those wins are HUGE and people start taking notice but many will be waiting for you to turn into the Bungles, me included.

After that show signs of becoming the Bungles by losing a home game against the up and coming Houston Texans 28-17.

Many will think that may be the beginning of a losing streak, but no! Your next plan of action is to demolish the visiting Chicago Bears at home 45-10 by having your quarterback throw 5 touchdown passes and score points on the first seven offensive drives.

Then, after a week off you continue taking care of business by showing you mean business by beating the Baltimore Ravens at home and Pittsburgh Steelers in Pittsburgh for a second time! Remember these two teams were the top 2 teams in the AFC last year and the Steelers are the defending Super Bowl champs. Yep, the Bengals beat the Ravens 17-7 and then out-physicaled the Steelers 18-12.

So now this takes us to the present day, today is November 16th, 2009. The Bengals are 7-2 overall, 5-0 in division games and in first place in the AFC North. I don’t know what will happen during the rest of this season but one thing I feel is safe to say. The Bengals are no longer Bungles!

WHO DEY!

(names will remain anonymous)

1.) “I am going to drop a flying elbow on this day.”
2.) “COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE” – (buzz buzz buzz. And one of the best ice cream flavors ever made might be Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz.)
3.) “Dear Cheaptickets.com why does your website say you over charged me by $1500 ?? Just curious.” – (“Maybe they combined your Hannah Montana and Disney Princess on Ice tickets together?” – some other person on Facebook)
4.) “Thankful, thankful, thankful. …and happy. and thankful.” – (You would think you would be more happy being so thankful and all.)
5.) “christmas music makes me jolly” – (As long as it doesn’t make you a green giant as well.)
6.) “oh hamburgers!” – (oh peaches!)
7.) “Today I spilled Cheerios all over the kitchen floor. I called my dog into the room to help me clean them up. We got away with it.” – (dude, I do that all time, sometimes I add milk too.)
8.) “Come on Denver.” – (The Broncos were playing the Squealers at the moment of this status post.)
9.) “i’ve got some openings today, five dollars off, come in.” – (Some services shouldn’t be offered on Facebook.)
10.) There is no #10 because the article is titled “What To Do About TODAY‚ÄôS TOP 9 FACEBOOK STATUSES 11/09/09″.

Become a fan of WhatToDoAbout.com on Facebook right here!

If Pittsburgh dominates this game then I am really going to hate watching them win their second Super Bowl in the past 4 years. I still remember Bill Cowher mocking the Bengals “Who Dey” chant back in 2006 (in the 05′ AFC Wild Card playoffs) after defeating Cincinnati in a game in which Carson Palmer was tragically knocked out early in the first quarter.

Is this class?

I think not.

Also, when I see Hines Ward play I always think about his hit on Bengals rookie linebacker Keith Rivers earlier this past season. He was not fined on a play that appeared to me like he lead with his head (which is not legal), he also celebrated after the hit. There is never an acceptable reason for a player to lead with his head when blocking. If the hit was made on a QB Hines definitely would have been fined.

Is this dirty?

I think so.
(For an example of how to make a proper hit click here.)

If Arizona happens to upset Pittsburgh in Super Bowl XLIII I would love to see Larry Fitzgerald get his hands on a Terrible Towel (the symbol of this evil empire) and clean his cleats off like Bengals receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh did a few years ago.

Was this called for?

Most definitely!

Also if the reasons mentioned above are not enough for you to root for Arizona in this years Super Bowl then you should be aware that Pittsburgh’s mascot is named Steely McBeam.

Mascots – “They are like drugs…just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean you have to try it too.”

Go Cards!

1) Kimo Von Oelhoffen. 2005 AFC Wild Card Playoffs. Bengals vs Steelers. On the first offensive play of the Bengals 1st playoff game since 1990, Pittsburgh defensive tackle Kimo Von Oelhoffen accidentally rolled over Bengals quarterback Carson Palmers leg which tore his ACL and MCL ending his season immediately. My heart dropped when this happened. There is no doubt in my mind that if Carson would not have been hurt that the Bengals would have won that game. On the play on which Carson was hurt he completed a 66 yard pass to receiver Chris Henry (which was the longest completion in Bengals post-season history). After the injury the Bengals seemed to lose most of the momentum they had coming in to the game and they lost 31-17. The Steelers chanted in their locker room after the game shouting “Who Dey? We Dey!” Not cool, not cool.

2) Division Rivals. The Steelers are the Bengals division rivals along with the Cleveland Browns and Baltimore Ravens. It is a rule, if you are a die-hard Bengals fan, then you are not a Steelers, Browns, or Ravens fan.

3) Joey Porter. Ex-Steeler’s linebacker Joey Porter and six of his friends basically jumped Bengals offensive tackle Levi Jones in 2007 at a Las Vegas club. A Steeler messing with a Bengal = another reason not to like the Steelers. He could have at least went one-on-one with him.

4) The teams colors are black and yellow. Maybe it is because I already dislike this team, but black and yellow, come on, black and orange are way better.

5) The Steelers are usually good, so that makes me like them less. There is a cocky arrogance to any team when they are successful, so at the moment I dislike the Steelers even more because of this arrogance. When the Bengals are winning and acting this way, I am okay with it.

I could keep going and going with more reasons why the Steelers are my least favorite team, but you get the point. If you happen to have more reasons by why I should hate this team, please do leave a comment below.

Thanks for reading.