I think I could stop this article right there, but alas, you would all be disappointed that you missed my humor. So I will indulge you in my humor, dry and sometimes misplaced, but humor nonetheless.

There is this game floating around that some of us (you know who you are) are enjoying on a daily basis. If you are not familiar with this game, it’s just like scrabble, only electronic and cooler because it’s on my iphone. This game isn’t a big deal unless you like to spell or in my case, are learning how to spell. So when people say I am addicted I smack them in their face and say NO!

Ok. Not really, but I am not addicted. People that are addicted to things forsake their families, food, and all hygiene. I, on the other hand, consider this game to be bettering my education! Can one be addicted to his education…? Well, I suppose, but if it happens you don’t hear about it very often.

Since I have been playing words with friends I have learned the i comes before e except after c. This newfound knowledge, plus beating someone in a game, can be quite liberating. Liberating from all those things that your mother-in-law said about you… “he’ll never succeed”, “you married a loser”, and “you can’t even spell success“. I’ll show her, I will win several games of words with friends, I will write an article about it, and then after it has been edited by Tim she will see…

If you are not out there trying to get back at a family member or friend that has called you dumb or stupid, don’t let anyone tell you that you are addicted to anything. Unless of course you are, then you should kiss your wife, eat your dinner, and take a shower. After that you need to go, it’s your turn!

I wish someone had told me that I would have enjoyed scrabble (words with friends) a long time ago. I would have stopped beating up all of those nerds that played during recess. I like to look back on those beatings as an education for the kids that don’t know how to play “real” games. I guess now I am the one learning a lesson… it’s a good thing there are a lot of chess players out there to beat up, otherwise I would be a grumpy dude!

I wanted a watch primarily because I am a fitness instructor and I needed to see my stop watch, plus I wanted to see my heart rate and I also didn’t want to have to use my bare hand with my iphone. Now when it’s cold I can just flip my wrist and check it out. I don’t have to take my hand out of my gloves for any reason at all, not even to challenge a knight to a dual.

My watch is handy, but it is also cumbersome. It gets snagged on things all the time and the buttons get pushed. This trouble is enough to make me not want it anymore, that and the fact that I can’t stop looking at the watch. Now that I have it I want to know what time it is all the time! It can drive a man crazy, crazy crazy, not just crazy. Who needs to look at their watch that many times?

I have thought about just tattooing a watch on my arm and it would read 5 o’clock. So that I would feel like it’s always the end of the day, or something like that. I know it would never work so I won’t do it, besides that, then I would have to use the iphone for the stop watch again.

Why does one need a watch? Aren’t cell phones the best thing? Watches are used to tell you the time more quickly and maybe that’s all. They are handy, but don’t let there cunning hands mess with your mind. Cell phones are great, but the less you take them out the less chance there is that you will break them, which is always a plus when carrying the iphone.

After doing a litte bit of thinking, I figured out a way to get my iPhone without sending my wife back to stripping. The money was good, but the hours sucked, not to mention she always came home smelling like beef and vodka. So back to my idea, I thought “I will try and sell my 3 year old MacBook”.

I did not know how this would work given the fact that it was not charging and there seemed to be something in the disc drive that made the discs hell to get in and out.

I thought, if it works I get an iPhone and if not then no iPhone. 24 hours later it sold like a hotcake in the country. Sweet! I get a new iPhone! BUT I don’t have a computer to blog on. Or do I?

After receiving a tongue lashing from my WhatToDoAbout buddies I had to show them that my new iPhone could replace my MacBook. Sure I can’t video chat with my wife or run garageband, but I can pretty much do everything else. Which brings me to this article…

I am typing this article on my new iPhone 3gs! That’s right I can do everything on my iPhone, as a matter of fact, I just mowed the grass with it today as well. Ok, maybe that’s a stretch but it is incredibly useful.

Blogging is one of my hobbies and now I can do it anywhere at anytime. I bet you didn’t know that I was sitting on the toilet right now did you? Well, I am not. I am actually at Whole Foods. They have great pizza and dime cookie day!

If this wasn’t a promo for an iPhone, it is now! I single handedly run my business on my iPhone and… well, I am pretty successful! I mean I have clients and I get paid, it all depends on how you define success I suppose.

There you have it!… your excuse to go out and get the coolest phone on the market. And to top it all off, you can get rid of that silly messenger bag, that’s so 1999.

We should be worrying more about things that are really important like high taxes, homeless shelters, fantasy football or Ethiopian chefs that appear at Oprah’s fund raiser for the former first lady Hillary Clinton. I thought Ethiopians weren’t eating anything, I mean my mom was always telling me that if I don’t eat my vegetables some kids over there would starve or something. Now, I realize there are starving people in the world… of course, but I bet I would know what they are eating now if I had an iphone, yep that’s it.

There is one last thing about the iphone that concerns me; the price! What is it… something like $600 dollars? I think it’s more like 666, the end of the world, and Steve Jobs is the anti-christ. While we all work to get that money to pay our house payments there are people spending that money on technology. I think we are being brain washed by uncle Steve. Besides, think of all the things that you could do with that money….hold on a second, I just got an email. It’s from my friend with the Internet…he says, no wait, that can’t be right… the PRICE just DROPPED!!!

Well, I have to go… I think I need to see what all the fuss is about. I mean, uh…well, all right I just got one, but at that price who wouldn’t… I mean that’s great! A price drop! Did I mention I love my iphone? It’s the greatest thing since toilet paper. Yes, I think it is that essential, thanks Steve Jobs and Rush Limbaugh!! Why Rush? Because he never uses a phone and he bought 40 iphones… so I knew it had to be good. I mean it is that good.

What do you think about the iphone? Let me know on the forum.

*this article was featured on October 10, 2007