Back in the day, peaches were among my favorite fruits. Maybe they still are and I just don’t know it, but the berry family has made a significant play for the top spots. I once ate 14 small peaches in one day. No, I did not have any problems digesting that, whatsoever. I take probiotics, you know. Besides, it was like eating 4 regular peaches since these peaches were super small… small and sweet, sweet, sweeeeeeet.

When looking for peaches, look for peaches with an excellent smell, a nice aroma. For ripe peaches, they should give or yield to slight pressure and they should not have any green on them. If your peaches are not ripe, you can speed up ripening by placing them in a paper bag (which will trap the gases that aid in ripening), or you can just place them in a fruit bowl and wait… that is what I do. If your peaches are all ripe and you cannot eat 14 in one day like me, you can place them in the refrigerator… I guess. Peaches picked green and ripened will not get any sweeter, so it is best to get them fresh picked… and for that, I am betting on farmer’s markets, or side-of-the-road stands. Yep. Then, the only thing you have to worry about is, did they spray the peaches with a pesticide that will leave you impotent?

I like to look at peach pie, peach cobbler, but I like to eat fresh peaches, peach jam, peach cookies, and occasionally peach ice cream. Peaches are still in my top 5.

*****

Tim: Mmm, this is better than I remember it. [eating ice cream]

Terry: That’s what she said.

*****

[thinking up ideas for wtdaNate (me) to write about.]

Terry: What To Do About THE WORLD CUP.

Terry: Who watches soccor??

Terry: Any help at all?

Nate: [shakes head]

Terry: He’s writing about crocheting.

Terry: You don’t know me at all Terry [high pitched voice...talking about himself].

*****

[lame music playing in the background]

Me: How’s that ice cream guys

Steve: Super good

Tim: delectable

Tim: I am very well convinced that most Americans do not eat enough saturated fats.

*****

Steve: I don’t have a whole lot of taste for art, I just think artists should be underpaid. [there just happens to be lots of bad art pieces hanging on the walls around us]

Steve: I think I should try and be an artist.

Tim: Maybe we should all try together.

Tim: Maybe we can make a masterpiece and sell it in a coffee shop for $400.

Tim: Drinks on me!

*****

[back to ice cream]

Terry: It’s not about the sweetness or how delectable it is, it’s about how I can’t stand to have something that’s not finished [talking about his pint of ice cream]

Tim: Scrape the top layer of freezer burn off and it’s fine.

Tim: I’m going to have about 250% of my daily recommended saturated fat intake.

Tim: What about you Steve.

Steve: I just had 120%

Steve: Now why would you use fair trade sugar AND regular sugar.

Tim: We want to help the fair trade people.

Steve: But not too much.

Tim: I really feel like I could make good ice cream. Like this quality but better ingredients. I really feel like I have it in me.

Steve: You wanna go global with this?

Tim: We are starting a raw milk ice cream business in California. Instead of Ben & Jerrys it’s going to be called Tim & Terrys.

Terry: I just don’t wanna be the one with the beard.

*****

That’s all I got kids. At least until the next time I act like I’m doing something but really writing down the conversation of my friends.

So. Step one. You see, when you approach the frozen food cooler you must first scan all potential ice cream interests.
 
Secondly, you must narrow down your ice cream interests to maybe two or three. Also, at this time note your selections respective locations.
 
Once you have narrowed your ice cream selections down and noted their respective locations in the freezer, then… and only then, proceed to open the glass freezer door to examine further.
 
At this point you may examine your ice cream selections one by one, noting ingredients and packaging to see if they are to your liking. After you have thoroughly examined your ice cream selections, make your final selection and complete the checkout process at the establishment, store, or what have you.
 
If adhered to properly the above strategy will provide years of trouble free ice cream selecting!

It all starts when you get that craving for something cool and soothing on your palate. This craving could happen anywhere and anytime so you will want to be on your guard at all times. First, we will talk for a minute about the dangers involved with this craving. You will want to prepare yourself mentally as this will happen while you are in line waiting to purchase your treat. You then take into account that the very treat you are excited about eating has taken many victims in the past. With this in mind, we will go on the offense, even though the casualty rate is high, you still stand a pretty good chance of winning this battle.

We are ready to take control of this freezer foe. Don’t let it catch you with your guard down. If this happens you will be taken and it won’t be pretty. You are armed with your plastic spoon, which is more like a cannon at this point, but don’t be fooled by the creamy nature of the beast. You remove the first line of defense… the lid. Yes, it seems harmless, but not so much, this lid can be just as deadly. In fact, I can remember when a friend of mine ripped off his lid and that was it. It fell face first onto his lap and just like that he was out of the game. You can be wiser than he; you will need to use extreme caution in this procedure. Remove the lid and place it somewhere where it cannot come back and attack from the rear.


You are ready for the first bite, and I don’t think I can express enough about using caution. You will come up on the first line of defense from the foe of the freezer. Here is where we separate the sheep from the goats. Let me be frank with you, we have lost a lot of good soldiers in this first drive toward the adversary of ice and cream. Your spoon will hit the hardened defense of the sweet goodness of this devil of a dessert… but fear not, you will have victory if you stay vigilant.

Now that you have gone to the frontlines and have been denied hopefully you are not injured. You have noticed that the first bite will be a hard one to get. Grab your spoon lower to the bottom, but not too close as this is how they get you. It starts with sticky fingers and then hands and before you know it you have been hit and you have become just another statistic. Do not be dismayed, you will taste victory, or strawberry chip depending on your point of view. Be diligent and do not be over confident for this will¬†truly¬†lead to death. I know because I lost my first wife to the creamy creature. She was caught with her guard down and now she is in a better place. I miss her… she was a good woman, but just too weak, she let her lust for the lavish mixture of cream and fruit be her downfall. Don‚Äôt worry about me though, I am now stronger for it and use what I have learned to help others.

Now you can make a difference in your battle. Take each bite with caution and be careful not to get greedy. Most battles are lost that way. Proceed with caution and enjoy your frozen foe and make sure you win this battle and live to taste another day.