Perhaps you are a runner and like to take a jog around the neighborhood. Perhaps you are a meter reader. Perhaps you are a stupid criminal who is actually reading this article to deal with dogs that attack you. Whatever your reason for being in the neighborhood you need to be on your guard against ferocious animals… and dogs.

Most dogs are much more frightened of you than you are of them… and so am I… I mean, you are really scary looking! So when a dog runs at you… 90% of the time they are all talk… or bark. So you should turn and face them and go towards them. If you freak out and turn your back then they are emboldened all the more in their cowardice and they may come and bite you in the back of the leg.

Sooooo… what about the 10% of dogs that will run at you and straight up attack you? Well, for those I would recommend splitting them into two groups and then deciding. For the first group you would want to ward them off with a stick or rope or tree branch or find something useful to use. Punch them in the nose and stand your ground. BUT, for the second group of dogs… that is, those dogs that are trained to kill, I would recommend climbing the nearest tree, jumping on a car, or running like the wind and calling in reinforcements.

So in closing, just remember: “A dog is a dog, it eats it‚Äôs own vomit and likes to lick itself all while sneaking drinks from the toilet.” You can take ‘em. ‚Ä®

Well, if this is you, then beware, your dog might be cross-dressing behind your back. Or maybe you have a seemingly nice dog-sitter take your little Chihuahua and dress him up like a girl and paint his nails. If this is your problem then stay tuned and we will figure out how we can get her back.

First of all, it’s just wrong to dress up a dog period, no questions asked. A dog is a dog, it eats it’s own vomit and likes to lick itself all while sneaking drinks from the toilet. There is nothing remotely the same when comparing dogs to people. That being said you can still love your dog, but they are still dogs not people, so stop dressing them up like girls or up at all!

My dog is a dude and has no problem getting cuddly with the kids and on occasion with me but we draw the line at getting him dressed in any clothes… especially womens clothes. We love our puke eating toilet drinking self cleaning dog about as much as the next guy so long as the next guy doesn’t dress his dog. If we are taking man points you are losing them by letting anyone dress your dog, it’s not much different than fruiting your beer. It just isn’t right!

So here is where you come in, the what to do about reader! I need you to give me some ideas on how to get back my puppy dressing nemesis. Any ideas must be complete and commented below, please remember I have limited resources, but I will do what it takes to give her her just reward. So if you think you have something, please by all means let me know and we will do it!

I am having a great day, as a matter of fact, I am having a great week! It’s so great that I decided to celebrate by not leaving the house. This was a good idea till the dog entered my bed at about 8 in the a.m.

My son brought the pooch down after a night of intense sleeping, after which I am sure the little dog needed to pee. My concern was confirmed when my feet started getting warmer… then moist… then really stinky. This is when the dog came up to my pillow with wet feet and then I knew what happened, the dog had peed on my feet.

My wife came in and said “awe the dog must really have to pee”, I said “no he did pee… on my feet!” This was the beginning of my day off, I got up and washed my feet and took all the blankets off the bed. Off to breakfast, where my boys ate like angry bears after a long winter hibernation, stabbing and growling as they inhaled their food.


So if you missed it, I got a dog, a little chihuahua named Tank, he is pretty awesome. He is small and doesn’t really do much, that is, unless there are flip flops lying around.

The dog loves to chew up flip flops. He chews the strap right off. Not the heel or the toe but the strap! So they are destroyed, you can’t wear them again. Which is fine, because I hate flip flops, but my wife loves them and now she is down to two pairs and she is mad. I tell her “now she has a reason to wear the other 12 pairs of shoes she owns”. This is when she hit me in the arm and told me to shut up. So I did…

The dog is great and I love it, he is easy to clean up after and I think they say he should live for about 20 years, so he will be here for a while. Not like the other pets i have had that keep dying on me, which makes them very hard to pet, well maybe not… at least they will lay still.

I have 2 problems with the new dog, 1) he licks my friggin face all the time. 2) he still poops in the house from time to time. I maintain the fact that he is easy to clean up after so it’s not a huge deal, that is until I step in it.

Did I mention that he never barks? NO! Well he never barks, that was until we snipped his berries, now he barks at everything. But there will be no little tanks running around which is cool by me. I like one dog, I don’t need two, I have two boys and I can only imagine what two dogs would destroy.

If you are looking for a pet I recommend a nice little chihuahua as they are pretty awesome! If you don’t like dogs then you are better off petting yourself at least you won’t poop on the carpet…right?

Later, the next morning my son and his friends are playing outside when all of the sudden they come running in and my son was crying like crazy. I asked him what was wrong? He said that a black dog was biting him in the back while he tried to run away. This is when I thought of my wonderful friends that called the mutt over the night before.

No problem though, I will run it off. So I ran outside and chased it into the woods. The dog stayed away most of the day until later in the afternoon I saw it again and the boy started to run and scream as the dog got closer. This is when I decided to get serious about this I grabbed a hammer and went outside and threw it at the dog aiming for the ground so that I would catch the dog on the bounce not because I didn’t want to kill it, because I did, but because if I hit it right, it would run off and die and I would not have to carry it.

I missed. Now you can all relax, but the dog got the message and hasn’t been back since. My solution is to use your hammer, if you miss you will at least spook the dog, if you hit it you will have no more dog. Either way you win!

So it was a natural thing to get a dog when my wife and I were married. We decided to get us a rotweiller. Awesome puppy, expensive, but awesome. Then it grew up and started running through my fences, destroying my lawn, ripping my dog ties and my fence right out. We quickly turned into non pet people.

That is until recently. I thought that it might be a good thing for my two young boys to have a couple of kittens… which they love. So I have two cats and two boys and they are both doing fine. My oldest has taken the responsibility pretty well. Well, as well as a four year old can, he does the cat litter and feeds them twice a day.

Things are fine. I have always tolerated cats and this is no different. They are lazy mostly and keep to themselves… if you keep them trained. Well, last week we heard a dog barking outside our house and proceeded to find out what was going on. There was a little dodson outside barking at my son, I told the dog to get out of here and it ran away… till the next day that is. When we got back from church there she was again, barking at us. So went over to her and gave her some water because it was hot and I am a nice guy.

So now we have 2 cats and a dog named biscuit, I like the dog but I will let if go if it wants to. We don’t let it in and it kind of guards the place. Non pet people now with 3 pets, wish me luck.