What To Do About A MISSING ORANGUTAN

So I live a few miles away from the zoo and yesterday I heard that an orangutan had escaped so I thought I would go looking for it since it was my day off of work. Maybe if I found it someone would give a reward or at least maybe I’d get a free pass to the zoo or something. I decided to get in my car and drive to the nearest park to see if their might be any ape sightings there.

When I got to the park I was glad to find that I was the only one there. I got out of my car and began walking to the nearest grouping of trees. My thought was that if I was an orangutan I would probably go climb the nearest tree and hide out at the top for a while. After about 15 minutes of staring at the tops of almost every tree in the park I came to a final grouping of trees. A small yellow object caught my eye, it wasn’t an orangutan but it was an empty banana peel sitting alone on a large tree branch about 10 feet above my head. Hmm, could it be?  Was the orangutan in this tree at some point in recent history? I mean, who else would leave a banana peel up in a tree?

I decided to walk slowly around the trees but there was no sign of the orangutan. After several minutes of searching I decided to slowly begin walking back towards my car, my eyes were peeled as I searched for any sign of the animal. I went back home and saw on the news that night that the orangutan was still missing.

The next morning I drove back to the park and went to the same group of trees where I saw the empty banana peel, the peel was actually laying on the ground and so I was unsure if it had just fallen or if someone had touched it. The next thing I know something smacks me on the back of the head. “Ouch!” I yelled. I couldn’t believe it, a banana had hit me on the head. I looked up and right there above me in the trees was the orangutan! I climbed the tree, grabbed the animal by the foot, I wrestled him to the ground and then got him in a full-nelson so that he wouldn’t bite me. I had some duct tape in my car and decided I better tape it’s hands and feet together so that he wouldn’t get loose in my car. I also taped his mouth shut so he wouldn’t bite me and then I put the animal in the back seat of my car.

I drove to the store and bought some more bananas for him to eat and then decided I better take him to the zoo. I decided to name him “Roger Clemens” since I like baseball and also since he through a banana at me. Anyways, I ended up getting a free pass to the zoo for a year and I occasionally go visit my friend Roger.

Let’s go to the zoo and check out the Ape House!

Related:

What To Do About THE CASE OF THE MISSING ORANGUTAN

What To Do About THE CASE OF THE LOOSE ORANGUTAN