Clearly, this article is not the usual fare of What To Do About. There will be no tongue-n-cheek or witticisms, no exaggerated stories, and no played out stereotypes (as we love to do). Shocking? No, we have done this before, like in Expelled, pornography, and voting.

What is the gospel? The gospel is good news! The gospel is deep, but it is also simple, and so, I will try to put it simply! There is one God who created everything. He is the Maker of heaven and earth. He made man and woman in His image and likeness. He made us to worship. We (humanity) chose to rebel against Him, sin against Him, and disobey Him.

As a result we are separated from God. We think that we are our own god. We are all born terminally broken sinners who reject God and are at odds with Him. We are destined for death and destruction. He is the only one that is good and in His goodness He makes a way for us to be saved.

The way that God chooses to save us is that He became flesh in the person of Jesus Christ, fully God and fully man. He was born of a virgin, lived a perfect, sinless life, was crucified on the cross, in death substituting Himself for the death that is owed sinners. He willingly took the penalty upon Himself, for the sin of those who would put their trust in Him. He was perfect payment because He was perfect Himself. He was buried and on the third day He rose again by the power of God, having defeated sin and death. He ascended into heaven and is ruling and reigning and is coming again to judge the living and the dead.

What to do about the gospel? Put your trust in Him. Your hope, your faith, your confidence. “For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:13). The gospel, the good news, is the power of God to those who are being saved (1 Corinthians 1:18).

Every now and then we all have wild ideas. Well, I guess some people do not have wild ideas, but generally the people who do not have any wild ideas are not very interesting people. Can I get a witness?

One of the most important things to remember, when thinking, what to do about wild ideas, is, balance. Balance and discernment are crucial for determining what to do about any sort of wild idea. Maybe, perhaps, you could throw some wisdom in there as well.

Wise wild ideas, that may not seem wise, but that really are wise, are where the action is at. That’s what my grand-pappy used to say. Not really, that is what I say.

Do we really need to clarify what a wild idea is? No, I don’t think so. I mean you know it if it is wild. Sure, ok, fine, it can be wild if it is wild to you, and, in addition, if you do not want to let it be a wild idea if it is wild for someone else, and not for you, that is perfectly fine and dandy by me. Really.

Here are a few things you can do to help clarify your wild idea:

1. Ask yourself some questions regarding your wild ideas, Questions like: Will this hurt someone else if I do it? Will this produce negative effects for years to come? Will there be ice cream involved? Will I actually get to be friends with Terry Barga, or will he be repulsed by my actions? These are just some example questions to ask, feel free to think of more on your own.

2. Tell a trusted friend about your wild idea. Now, first I must counsel you to pick your trusted friend carefully. Also, note what type of person they are. Are they given to wild ideas? Do they have any wild ideas of their own? Will they rain on your parade? Always? Once you determine those kinds of things, you can still ask your trusted friend, and, whether they love your wild idea or not, their response will help you to see your wild idea in better light, whether you take their advice or not.

3. Sleep on it. Do not rush off with your wild idea. It may just whisk you away into a whirlwind of destruction. If, however, it bears out, over several sleeping sessions, to show itself to be an excellent wild idea, with true staying power, you will feel more solidarity in your wild idea-ness. Then you can let it whisk you away into your wonderful world of whimsy.

I’ve got a wild idea…

I know the very title can be sexist. I also realize you may think that I am already sexist. I assure you that you are incorrect, especially if you are a girl… no really, I like to play games with your head and it’s easy when you have people (girls) reading way too much into your words. It blurs the vision and vision is essential in understanding that I enjoy humor. I mean it’s a “comedic” site right? If I don’t get you worked up, I don’t achieve joy, I know it’s hard to wrap your head around it, so take your time… you’ll get it.

So… I let the ol’ lady out of the house, but more so I let her out of town. Crazy? I know! She asked real sweet like, and it was cute, so I told her she could put her shoes on and step away from the stove and have some fun. By fun I mean take your phone and check in with me every hour and also that I will have you followed so that no other guy can even look at you without me knowing. Too much?… maybe so, but we all have our love languages, mine just happens to be “smother her”. Don’t be jealous, one day you’ll meet someone.

I’m now home with my two boys on my own, which is not so bad when she has all my meals cooked and organized, my clothes laid out and ironed, and my car vacuumed! It was rough… I mean I had to still change the little ones diaper, put breakfast in a bowl, get dressed and pay the babysitter (thanks Tim!). Taking the kids to work was a little bit of a challenge. I mean I had a babysitter for a partial day, but I still needed to do my night classes at the community center. After getting home around 6:30pm I bathed the little carpet munchers and fed them too. After my meeting ( Tim and I smoking a cigar and playing poker). I put them down at 9pm which was a treat for them because they usually go to bed at 8:30.

Another treat for them was that they got to sleep in my bed. I only did this so if one of them fell out all I had to do is reach over the edge and pull them back up. I would never have to leave the warm bed, and warm it was with two little boys in there. The night started off well enough, but at about 10:30 pm I noticed that my arm was dead because of the 2 yr old was curled up on it. I moved him over about 18 inches but he made it back over to me around 12:30 am. So I moved the oldest to the bottom of the bed and gave him another blanket. Now the boys are sleeping feet to feet on their moms side of the bed. Awesome! I can sleep now.

All was going well until about 2:30am when all the sudden I found that I had feet on my head and neck. 4 of them to be exact! After nudging them to move over, I get a nudge back, in the form of a kick to my face. which is better than a kick to the groin. After about 10 minutes of re-organizing them and a stuffed animal by the name of squidward, I now have a boundary where I can sleep. After a quick restroom break (shut up Tim) I get back to bed and get my remaining 3 hours in before I am awakened by the lack of blankets anywhere on the bed. At this point I give up entirely and go brush my teeth and make some coffee.

The moral of the story is no matter how lazy you become, there is never a reason to put your kids in your bed. Unless you don’t like sleep, or you, in fact, like being kicked in the face, don’t do it! If that’s you, I’ll bet you have a lot of friends!

It was a nice day. The sky was blue and the air was just starting to percolate with that humidity that says rain is coming. However, it was still early and the humidity had not yet reached the point of making the experience of being outside completely unbearable.

Terry and I just happened to be walking up Nolensville Road to pick up a twenty foot ladder at a friend’s house. Why were we walking 0.7 miles instead of driving? Well, there was the problem of not having a truck to carry a ladder, and there was also the fact that it was only 0.7 miles.

Nolensville is a fun road, and there are no end to places like Latino Tires:

One of the obvious benefits of walking to pick up the ladder is that it gave Terry and I a chance to talk. We all know what happens when Terry and I have a chance to talk, we get all these crazy ideas. On the walk back, however, we were separated by twenty feet of ladder, and I was yelling back there, “everything all right?!”. I had to keep checking in because it seems my good personal trainer friend was getting a bit winded and I just wanted to make sure that he didn’t need to stop and sit down for a few minutes. I hardly broke a sweat. If I had, I would have made sure it hurt.

Here are a couple recommendations for carrying a ladder down Nolensville Road:
1. I recommend bringing a friend, or a non-friend but willing participant.
2. I recommend, when approaching thugs, to have the ladder act as leverage between you and the thug. This way, you can either use it to shield yourself from any potential blows, or you can throw it down in such a way that it creates an obstacle for the thug as you make a wild dash for safety.
3. I recommend, when crossing the street to have the ladder in front of you, that way if a car is coming you can sacrifice the ladder and allow it to be smashed instead of your body.

In conclusion, I highly recommend carrying a ladder down Nolensville Road. It is an experience that I will cherish and keep in my heart, wherever I go, I will always remember the day I carried a ladder down Nolensville Road. It was such a happy time and the memories are priceless. How can you put a price on such things?

As you should know, Terry has already waxed eloquent on the hour that begins at 5am. I really don’t know why he is waxing at all. I shall, however, now delve into the mysteries of getting up in the 4 o’clock morning hour.

I would have to agree with my eloquently waxing friend Terry, that indeed, getting up in the wee morning hours is like getting slapped in the face, and I would add, getting slapped in the face with a wet fish. It stinks.

One of the terrible things I dislike about the early morning hour is that, in order to wake up I must use an alarm clock which has me constantly anticipating its going off as I would hate to actually hear it go off. It seems that Terry would agree.

In addition, I would also say, one of the benefits of arising so early is that the streets are quiet and traffic is minimal. It makes being out and about much more pleasant, if, of course, one were awake enough to actually enjoy it. It seems that Terry would agree.

Granted, I only have to get up in the 4 o’clock hour one day per week right now. What can I say, I like to start slow. So here are some suggestions to help you wake up for your early morning adventures:

A) While all your friends are up enjoying late night bonfires and Monday Night Football, you should be setting out your clothes and prepping your breakfast to minimize the time needed in the morning. Be in bed by 8pm ( I mean, you want 8 hours sleep don’t you??)

B) Have some sort of stimulant ready for you in the morning. Whether it be coffee, tea, a cold shower, or a wet fish slapping you in the face, make sure you have something to ensure your awakeness so that you will not fall asleep driving or so that you will pay attention when your boss is talking.

C) Ensure that your alarm clock setup is optimal. I am afraid that the power will go out and I will not get up in time. Silly, I know. I set my alarm clock and the alarm on my phone just in case. Why? I think it’s because I don’t particularly care for the alarm on my phone, and so, it is just a backup. Have as nice of an alarm as you can get… like a light alarm that gets brighter and brighter near the time that you need to wake up, that would be awesome! That is what I want. Whenever an alarm goes off and I am in the middle of sweet, blissful slumber, the sound makes me feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Well, I am not sure what it feels like to have a heart attack, so instead, I feel like my heart is going to pound out of my chest and I awake in a fright!

I kind of despise that I am even writing this article and that I find myself saying things like: It seems that Terry would agree. Here’s to waking up without an alarm clock and getting a full night’s rest!