I hardly feel like I can be the official gift giving judge but I do have something to draw from, for this year at least. If you feel like I am leaving something out, you just go ahead and let me know. Unless it’s about punctuation, then you can keep that to yourself. Thanks in advance.

Seeing how this is my first year giving gifts to my wife, the first gift I got her was when we were still dating. There really hasn’t been a gift under the tree for her to open, that’s been from me, in like 10 years. Now before you get angry at me and call me all sorts of names, just know that we did this because we wanted to spend money after Christmas on each other. All that aside, that’s a long time to remember how to gift give all over again. I have had to relearn a number of things: picking up signals for gift giving, being sneaky about gift giving, wrapping said gifts for gift giving, and then there’s the whole buy stuff for my kids gift giving that I haven’t practiced with them ever.

There’s been no shortage of gifts on Christmas day, thanks to my parents and in-laws who are both very thoughtful and full of the Christmas spirit. They are so good at over-doing the gifts, we haven’t really missed out on the joys of the season for the boys. It’s actually a headache sometimes trying to figure out how we are going to cram all the stuff into the car to drive 5 hours from Ohio to Tennessee. I digress.

Now that you have the background, let me tell you that this year was a lot of fun when it comes to… gift giving. I had set aside money for the wife and was also really blessed by some amazing clients that saw fit to hook me up with some Christmas cash (completely unexpected and amazing).

So, I set out to make it look like I had bought the whole store, but for the life of me I don’t know why. I wasn’t trying to make my wife feel guilty, just loved. As I bought things, yes even things that could have, and maybe should have, been put in the same box, I made sure that they were wrapped separately for maximum effect. For some strange reason this has made me really proud, like I have been telling people that “I have killed Christmas, if it wasn’t a competition it is now”. That’s probably not good… I like to compete, even when it’s not called for or there really is no competition. I have nothing to prove, I think.

Aside from getting to fully participate in the gift giving experience it’s really hard to stop once you have started buying things. I can honestly understand how people get in debt doing this. I won’t do that, it’s taken too long to get out of debt to go back now. So let me give the guidelines to healthy gift giving.

1. Actually have the money. This is why we haven’t been fully involved in the gift giving process till this year.

2. Make a list. Check it twice.

3. Practice gift wrapping. Or have your wife wrap her gifts for you.

4. Get the kids working for you. I can have my boys do a “ride along” and find out what mommy is getting for daddy. This is just fun, proceed with caution.

5. Spend time being thoughtful. You don’t have to wow anyone, just read them, 2 coffee mugs and a pound of coffee was the best gift so far for me. (Thanks Ashley)

6. Enjoy it. This whole thing is about the JOY. If you can’t find joy in gift giving or family than you need to do some push-ups. There is way too much to be thankful for.

Happy gift giving, remember the Gift that was the greatest Gift ever given.

Applying for jobs gets old real quick. I have been applying to lots of jobs lately and also not so lately… so I know, OH, I know. If you, like me, are amongst the assembly of jobseekers, I am here to tell you to take heart, get hope, and buck up buttercup.

Am I able to tell you this because I have now found the perfect fit and ended my quest as a jobseeker? No, and therefore I think I am all the more qualified to tell you to take heart. I mean, so many people might not be able to identify with you at all and others can identify because they have been through it, but the feelings change so fast and looking back feels different than being in the midst of something like looking for work. Also, if you are able to take heart in the midst of your job seekingness (new word) then you are truly making progress in your quest to actually make something of yourself.

Am I getting sidetracked? No, let me carry on. So maybe you have an idea, a great idea, of what you would like to do and are not currently doing it and the path to doing it seems rather overgrown, hidden, and dark… not to mention the path costs money! You need a way to eat! And sleep! And pay for guides! And you need this all as you walk along this overgrown path through the forest (we are still talking about jobs).

So there you are, here we are, back at the beginning, and you are sending in resum√©s, cover letters, and scouring job boards. Not very fun, and seemingly not very effective. What is effective is prayer… and lots of it. Also, talking to people is mucho mucho more effecto. The more people you can talk to the better.

Another thing you can do, that is very effective, is targeting specific jobs and studying them and showing how it can be done better. That is, you can take an interest in specific companies and show them how much you care by putting time and effort into thinking about what they are doing and improving upon it. Then, instead of sitting at home applying for jobs, you can tell them you will work for free for two to four weeks and see how things work out. You get experience (internship for the resumé), and a possible way in with the company, and they get help.

Also, during your job seekingness (new word), make sure you remain disciplined in a schedule. Place strict time limits on all entertainment venues and distractions (limit TV, video games, social networking sites, etc). While you may have a shifted schedule due to meeting with people and job searches, do all that you can to maintain a schedule and/or a task list.

There is much to say when it comes to seeking a new job, it is almost as if whole books could be written on the subject. Regardless, my hope, our hope, is that you take heart little one, buck up buttercup, do not grow faint or weary. You will make it out alive. (Most likely).

Boot camp? Huh? I know, you had no idea I was a boot camp/fitness instructor did you? Well I am, and we have a good time. It’s mostly me… having the good times. Everyone else is doing all the sweating and complaining.

I have always said if you think my job is easy you should do it for a day, see how you like swearing, reschedules, no-shows, excuses and useless complaining. I am in charge, so that’s a plus, right? Well kind of… you see, when you are in charge of complainers you get to hear everyones complaints all the time. Besides that, you have to be twice as committed as the person(s) you are working with. Some for you, but lots for them. You got to bring the energy like it hasn’t been brought.

I love it though, after about 3 years of doing the instructing you get real used to the types of people you see come in the door. For instance I can spot these:

- I’m here because it’s cheap
This is just fine with me. Fitness should be accessible, but don’t complain when the class gets cut because of your lack of commitment (attendance) to said cheap class. Hence the reason for raising prices.

- Looks the part boot camper
The person(s) that come in wearing matching clothes with a gatorade bottle and a towel with their initials on it. Cool, but this isn’t a fashion show. Wearing that is just going to get you made fun of. Unless you are actually going to workout — then maybe not. (Strong maybe)

- Gum chewer
Ha! I love this boot camper as this is always a chance for me to establish two things 1) my authority which I don’t need to do with gum but do it anyways. 2) nutritional minute with Terry. This starts with: spit out that gum and then tell me what’s in it. Yes, I do make them spit it into my hand!

Now now, I have had some clients that are incredibly committed and always make me smile. These clients have been great – so great we all came up with these pseudo rules for first timers:

1 ) No gum in boot camp. Ever.
It isn’t real. It didn’t come from a “gum” tree.
2 ) There is no music in boot camp.
Because, there is no music in boot camp.
3 ) There is no asking about music in boot camp.
This rule makes everyone roll their eyes as I say “there is no music in boot camp”.
4 ) No dancing in boot camp.
Unless it’s me doing the dancing, don’t worry it’s free. Call it a bonus.
5 ) No un-sanctioned water breaks.
You’re butt is mine till say it’s not or till the top of the hour. You can drink water at every 1/3
6 ) No sitting
You can rest when you’re dead.
7 ) No talking in boot camp.
This isn’t curves, and I don’t need to know about your great aunts gout.
8 ) No quitting
Nobody likes a quitter. Not even you’re mother.
9 ) If you complain I complain
When I complain it will be about you and your lack of form, determination, proper hydration, loud feet, you’re lateness, you’re matching clothes, gum and why are you stopping!
10 ) Never talk about donuts, diet coke, or your late night indulgences of any kind.
This will actually make me mad, which doesn’t happen to me very often. You are killing the vibe and encouraging the others to make compromises away from my specific instructions.
11 ) You’re welcome.
For the soreness, throwing up, for the sweat, the weight loss, motivation, for taking you’re gum, for making my class affordable and for yelling at you when you’re late.

Besides these you should know the un-spoken rules of working with a trainer. Don’t ever say “I’m actually not sore” or “I wish we could do something for my butt” Oh we will, how about 100 lunges! “I’m actually really good at (enter any workout you would like your instructor to torture yourself and everyone else with)” Then there’s the little known rule, don’t ever say, “I come in a little late to skip jumping jacks” Haha, you just made the whole class mad at you, we WILL do 5 minutes of jumping jacks for no good reason.

Happy resolution season to all and we will see you in the new year if you are lucky!

Are you a foot tapper? I am a foot tapper. Especially whenever I hear music… I like to accent the beats with my feet. I especially like to tap my feet when I am sitting at my desk working and listening to music really loud. It is mucho mucho fun.

It’s important as a foot tapper to be aware of your surroundings and to not let it annoy anyone who may be around you. Use socks or soft padded shoes on carpet for quiet tapping. Choose wooden soles and wooden floors for a rousing good time tapping. I typically go with bare feet or socks on wooden floors as I find that it is a nice mixture of intensity and quietness. Also, add in some finger tapping and let the good times roll.

I have even found myself tapping away during meetings or formal gatherings. it is kind of relaxing and tiring at the same time. I mean, it is fun to accent the beats with your feet, but then you get tired. By the time you get tired you just don’t want to stop because you were having so much fun accenting the beats with your feet.

Did you know that if you tap your feet it is a sign of an abundance of energy? No, it’s not. I really don’t know. I do know (knowing is half the battle) that tapping improves circulation and can warm your feet. So tap away. Not tap dancing… just plain ole tapping your feet. Let’s see if you can accent the beats with your feet.

This is one of those articles that write themselves. It’s kind of a venting piece for me so I will do my best to keep it lighthearted and not go crazy… pun intended.
 
If you are dealing with crazy or crazies as I have, you may be thinking things like: why?¬†who is this guy? what did i attract, crazy? If this is you or has been you let me go ahead and answer some of these questions for you. I don’t know. I don’t know. Nothing. I could stop there, but I will give my crazy story.
 
It seems as though there are still people out there that think making bomb threats on a public place or a government building is funny. It’s not, just in-case you didn’t get the memo. Well to all you out there (crazies) that think it’s funny to get on facebook and pretend to be something your not or make threats that you wouldn’t in person, well… we are onto you. And have been for sometime.
 
I had a fellah get on my business facebook page and make some wild claims about blowing up a community center where I do a lot of work. No big deal, I’ll just report him, facebook will do the rest. Turns out the guys behind facebook, the place where you don’t actually have to have a life to have a life, don’t have a life and don’t care about when someone reports crazies. I know that’s more of a rant but it feels like they didn’t
think it was legit or they would have beat me to the police. I digress.
 
The threat proceeded into the day but getting more wild, and dare I say, crazy. This guy wanted to blow up the center in 10 days, then 9 days, then 8 days. All the way down to 6 days these threats kept coming in. I made no bones about reporting Crazy the first day, I was assured by the slue of police and detectives that this would be taken care of. After a couple of days, the FBI, a police helicopter, and the swat team doing two raids we were back to good, but still left with the question, who would be crazy enough to make such a crazy statement and not think they would be nailed to the wall on it? We are still waiting on that answer. Even though the crazies involved have been taken down we still wonder what kind of crazy these guys were consuming so we can stay away from it.
 
If that isn’t crazy enough I have had another Facebook encounter with a crazy guy that thinks he can ego his way into personal training. Making all kinds of crazy random statements and then getting crazy about me not answering his crazy ass. Why would I? I mean he said, and I quote, “I am really good at making workout playlists”. I know that could take him far, at least for step aerobics, but that hardly qualifies you to be a trainer. On a side note, he has one really big muscle that doesn’t need any help by working out. His ego! Even after slapping him around with his own statements he still called me a thief and told me that I didn’t look like I have ever worked out… just to name a few things that he wouldn’t ever say in person. Which leads me to another muscle that could stand my foot buried in it.
 
Either way, you can see that this is just the type of thing that we can expect from Facebook. Well that and people friending you to see your pics, or who you married. Crazy takes many forms, but just rememeber that if you are really pissed about it, if you just relax and walk away you win. If crazy starts to walk behind you spouting crazy things, just donkey kick it in the groin and press on. You’ll be stronger for it, and you WILL have the last word. Facebookers be warned, if you can’t say anything nice… don’t post it on someones site you don’t know because he may hunt you down and donkey kick you in the groin. Or don’t say anything at all.