Well, I assume you know enough about me to know that I had a car and then it broke down…? No! Well I suppose you have some reading to do. Done? Good.

My car hunt is over!! I found the car of my dreams! No, really! I have been after this car since 2001. My friend Tim and I used to sit around and talk about having one. After all these years I finally found one, or found one cheap enough, whichever works. I purchased my car this last week and it has been amazing, the whole process was a blessing in itself. It is everything that I thought it would be and so much more. I told my wife it was like seeing a naked woman (her) for the first time, you keep looking again and again (at your wife) to make sure you are seeing what you think you are seeing. She laughed and said that I was crazy, if she only knew…

I started driving my car on my daily rounds about the city, training and bringing pain to select persons. This seemed new and quite exciting as does everything that I do in my new car. One thing that felt really new was spinning donuts in it, this felt new because I have never had a car that would spin a donut on anything other than snow. It was a scene straight out of Motor Trend magazine and it, my friend, was glorious. There is nothing like the smell of fresh burnt rubber after a fresh burnout, it’s so good I am thinking about bottling it as a new scent for men!

Driving this car has made everything new and exciting, even stop lights are fun, no… I don’t know why. Putting gas in it is also exciting, it does require premium as did my benz but this just feels more right. Maybe it goes back to the donuts, or the fact that if I was in a life threatening position I could depend on my car to move me very quickly. Yeah, the last one sounds much better!

Do you have a car that excites you? One that you will gladly drive till the doors fall off? If not, I recommend you find one and then pay cash for it. This will give you a lot of satisfaction, especially if it can spin a mean donut!

I just happened to be league champion in my primary fantasy football league this year… AGAIN. I said “my primary fantasy football league” because I took part in 4 leagues this year, which was entirely too many by the way, but I won the league that was most important to me. The answer to the question ‘what to do about winning your fantasy football league…again?’ may seem obvious to some. One could celebrate by posting news of their victory all over the world wide web, or by reminding the other opponents each day for 364 days of the following year that you dominated them. My fantasy football team name just happens to be DomiNATE so that would work out nicely for me.

These are all great ideas unless you happen to be the league commissioner each year, as I am. Too many first place finishes will lead to skepticism and suspicion that the league might be rigged. So if you happen to find yourself in my position, here are a few suggestions:

1) The 5 Year Plan. Only really try to win every 5th year, this will keep the other league players still interested and excited about being in your fantasy league each year and will lessen the thought that it might be rigged. Which it isn’t anyways.

2) Personal Economic Assessment. In our fantasy league the league champ gets dinner paid for by the other players at the restaurant of his choice along with other goodies such as beer and cigars, etc. About halfway into each fantasy football season you could do a personal economic assessment and only win if you really can’t afford to lose. What I mean is, if you are in a period of financial prosperity and are thriving economically then let someone else win. However, if you are pinching pennies and considering selling your body for extra cash on the weekends then this would be a good year to go all out and win. Of course this method will not work if you are extremely wealthy. The fact that I suggested this method should give you some info about me.

3) Make Losing Fun. If you win, and your opponents are supposed to buy you dinner, do not pick the most expensive restaurant around and do not order the most expensive item(s) on the menu. Pick a restaurant that the majority of others in the group will also enjoy. Share with others, whether it’s your appetizer, dessert, beer, or you have an extra stogie. Others won’t mind losing to you as often if you make the experience more enjoyable. If your friends don’t mind losing to you then they probably won’t suspect the league to be rigged by you. Which it isn’t by the way. Celebrate with class. Make losing fun gosh darn it!

I know there are a lot of guys, and even a few gals, out there that suffer persecution at the hands of their “friends” for winning their fantasy football leagues multiple times. I know it’s hard at times being the most intelligent sports fan around, that’s why I’m glad to be part of the writing team here at WTDA where we freely provide valuable solutions to life’s tough questions.

I’m out losers.

It’ll make you smarter!

I think I could stop this article right there, but alas, you would all be disappointed that you missed my humor. So I will indulge you in my humor, dry and sometimes misplaced, but humor nonetheless.

There is this game floating around that some of us (you know who you are) are enjoying on a daily basis. If you are not familiar with this game, it’s just like scrabble, only electronic and cooler because it’s on my iphone. This game isn’t a big deal unless you like to spell or in my case, are learning how to spell. So when people say I am addicted I smack them in their face and say NO!

Ok. Not really, but I am not addicted. People that are addicted to things forsake their families, food, and all hygiene. I, on the other hand, consider this game to be bettering my education! Can one be addicted to his education…? Well, I suppose, but if it happens you don’t hear about it very often.

Since I have been playing words with friends I have learned the i comes before e except after c. This newfound knowledge, plus beating someone in a game, can be quite liberating. Liberating from all those things that your mother-in-law said about you… “he’ll never succeed”, “you married a loser”, and “you can’t even spell success“. I’ll show her, I will win several games of words with friends, I will write an article about it, and then after it has been edited by Tim she will see…

If you are not out there trying to get back at a family member or friend that has called you dumb or stupid, don’t let anyone tell you that you are addicted to anything. Unless of course you are, then you should kiss your wife, eat your dinner, and take a shower. After that you need to go, it’s your turn!

I wish someone had told me that I would have enjoyed scrabble (words with friends) a long time ago. I would have stopped beating up all of those nerds that played during recess. I like to look back on those beatings as an education for the kids that don’t know how to play “real” games. I guess now I am the one learning a lesson… it’s a good thing there are a lot of chess players out there to beat up, otherwise I would be a grumpy dude!

I am writing this article for two reasons: 1) the other guys didn’t want it, 2) I feel obligated, like a messenger from the north sent to share the wisdom of the weather with the south.

I feel like I should have a cape and a scroll with wise proverbs and instructions from the good people of the north… hmm… maybe a nice velvet robe too… I don’t know, maybe not. Or, should I have a club (blunt object) for each piece of advice I share? One that says, “plow your streets, then apply salt”, number 2 would say, “don’t sled on the street, especially when there are brick mailboxes around you”, 3 would say, “never use a shovel to clear snow off your lexus, or any other car for that matter”.

I just want to provide some basic tricks of the trade, from the good people that brought you deep dish pizza, sky line chili, and car manufacturing. How to survive the snow would be what I would call it… NO, Wait! Surviving snow for dummies! is even better.

We recently received about 5-6 inches of snow, depending on who you ask. This snow, or Armageddon as it’s known here, came on us after two failed attempts at getting the weather prediction right in the first place. Once they had finally figured out if the snow was coming (2 hours before the first flake) ALL the schools were closed and most businesses decide to close early. As if this weren’t enough, the impending snow came and fell as finally forecasted, the rest of the city “clocked out” as it were.

This is where the rest of the madness started, you know? People slipping and sliding like they had never driven on snow before…Oh yeah they haven’t! I heard about maybe 50 sledding accidents, numerous (too many to count) car accidents, two of the 13 snow plow/salt trucks tipped over and let’s not forget the dude I saw clearing his Lexus off with a metal scoop shovel… FAIL!

I know you southerners are all laid back and stuff, but really? It takes just a little common sense when navigating a sled. If you are speeding toward a large blunt object, lean to the left or bail out altogether. If you have too much snow on your car and cannot see out of the windshield and you don’t have an ice scrapper, please use a broom, NOT a shovel! Please drop your snow blade on the ground if you drive a snow plow, that IS why they call it a snow plow. You will then find the very bottom layer of ice and then you can apply the melting agent. Secondly, if you are driving a snow plow, please feel free to check up on said area after dark and take care of the problem areas.

Just a little friendly advice from up north, you know? The people that get more than one snow a year…..You’re welcome!

Being the type of person who does what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it, is a good type of person to be. It says that you are reliable and dependable. I like these type of people because I like reliable and dependable people. It seems for most people, it is not easy to do both… that is, to do what they say they are going to do, and do it when they say they are going to do it. They may do what they say they are going to do, but have problems doing it when they say they are going to do it. Or, they may do something when they said they were going to do it, but it may be completely different than what they said they were going to do in the first place.

Of course, there needs to be grace and flexibility and understanding as plans and people and circumstances change… of course. For this reason (and there are others), communication becomes very important. So, the person who said they were going to do something at a certain time, should communicate if circumstances change and they are not able to do what they said they were going to do at the time they said they were going to do it. If the person successfully communicates, then it is much easier to appreciate them as a person who still does what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it. If a person does not communicate, then everyone continues to view said person as someone who does not do what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it.

Being a person who does what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it raises the probability that other people will want to do business with you. I am not just talking about business business, but also non-business business. So, they will want to make transactions with you whether they are business transactions or non-business transactions. Why? Because you are reliable and dependable, of course. There are other things, of course, that raise your business transaction favorability ratio. Things like emotional stability and sometimes availability… although there are plenty of people who are not available and still are great people to do transactions with because when they are available they do what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it.

I would heartily recommend taking steps to improve your transaction favorability ratio by being someone who does what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it. Start by saying you are going to do something at a certain time and then, with all of your might, make sure you do it when you said you would do it. Baby steps.

You can see how complex your transaction favorability ratio can be.

“So Kramer, what are you going to do?”
“Do? Do? Hey, I’m doing what I do. You know, I’ve always done what I do. I’m doing what I do, way I’ve always done and the way I’ll always do it.”

This is a momentous occasion!! It is the first time in 2010 that I have written a Top 10 Facebook Statuses post! Alice In Chains are playing on the speakers as I type this, you should go play them on your stereo or iTunes player, turn ‘Man in the Box’ up real loud and then come back and finish reading this.

Todays best Facebook statuses currently being used by our friends (on Facebook that is) are listed below.

(names will remain anonymous)

1.) “ordered a couch – only two more couchless weeks!” – (Need some potatoes for that couch? Just let me know!)
2.) “Everyone go check out Chad Johnson’s FB page and leave Val Kilmer a message.”
3.) “I need help Facebook. How can I tell my mother I can not accept her friend request ??” – (You could call her, text her, instant message her, email her, or go the old fashioned route and write her a letter. I’d probably take out a billboard though.)
4.) “Never buy a car you can’t push.” – (And never push a car (down an icy hill) that you can’t buy (after it rams into a telephone pole)).
5.) “I’m takin the day off to do all kinds of little things to celebrate HIM!” – (I agree, Christmas and Easter are not enough!)
6.) “Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to the medical school, I’m supposed to do be doing a lecture in about 20 minutes and my driver’s a bit lost.”

7.) “craigslist is buttacakes. so is selling stuff.” – (This post got me wondering what a buttacake was, now I know.)
8.) “shot a groundhog this evening…good riddance.” – (I hope you don’t run into this guy next time.)
9.) “Getting my whattodoabout.com on write now!” – (Write on, write on!)
10.) “I’m bringin’ the peanut butter. You bring the bread. …The jam? Oh, there will be plenty of that.”

Become a fan of WhatToDoAbout.com on Facebook right here!

I recently found myself carless and shopping like there was no tomorrow. I had set a goal to make enough cash to buy my wife a car after the first of the year. To my surprise, I found myself looking for a car after the mechanic told me that my car would look good at the buttom of a lake… A boat anchor!! I was bummed, I love my 14 year-old Mercedes Benz. The list of repairs was exstensive and expensive so I took their advice and drove it into the lake.

So now I need a car, instead of buying my wife some wheels, we have to find me a car. I jumped right onto the trusted online shopping mall I like to call craigslist. There’s only one problem, this mall looks more like a flea market, but with convicts from other nationalities.

The nationals want you to send them money and they will ship you a car! Ship me a car!? Who does that!? Not this guy, I am not going to send you a check to help you out for something I have never seen or driven. Shhhyeahh! Right!!

These scammers used to do this with bank accounts and then moved up to telling you that you have an inheritance coming from some dude you don’t know. Now they want to ship cars to us for our inspection and pay them before they ship these “cars”. Craziness!

What makes this even funnier is that the website has at the top of the page “anything involving car shipping is a scam“. Not ‘maybe a scam‘ or ‘could be a scam‘ but, it is a scam!

Do people fall for this?

The other thing is, the people that think they are selling a 12 year-old block of gold on wheels and want top dollar for it. This is annoying because it never looks as good to us buyers as it does to the seller. “Oh, that will buff out“, “the miles are all highway miles” or my favorite “this car used to be my grandmothers“. There is too much to say here, but I will tell you that grandmas can spin donuts with the best of them…

So remember, when shopping on craigslist, patience, patience is the key to actually finding a great deal. When you do find that gem of a car, make sure that it was taken care of. If you cannot trust the seller, then bolt!… it wasn’t meant to be. But, if the seller shakes your hand with a tear in his eye, you can rest at ease, that man loved his car!

This thing called time is a dangerous thing to track and kill, but if you can do it, you may be able to catch up on some sleep. Killing time is something that you need practice at. Start by reading the back of the toilet cleaner bottle, then move on to reading a magazine, then, before you know it, you will be killing time on the Internet and maybe even on facebook.

You must not submit to boredom, no no! Keep your head on straight and pay attention or you will lose an eye. Take your time when killing time or time will pick you up by your shirt collar, straddle your limp body and then beat you about the head and neck.

Careful, and test your limits. You can be caught off guard if you start killing time by pushing a broom or staring out the window. If you read anything, read this! Never let time get the upper hand, you don’t want time killing you.

Stop being bored and at the very least spend more time reading. Read the Bible. Yes, I am serious. The Bible is never boring. Don’t waste your time on nothing. You know what they say… be killing time or time will be killing you… they do say that, don’t they? Who is they?

Many a good man has fallen trying to kill time, don’t be one of them.

When I was a young kid I loved sharks, I would often to go the library and pick up a whole stack of books about sharks which I would spend hours reading and looking at the photos. I also loved when there was a National Geographic special on tv that featured sharks. Below are a few different types of sharks you should know about.

1) Great White Shark
This is probably the most popular shark that people generally know or talk about. Mainly because it is a fearsome creature and also known as white death. The great white shark often reaches lengths of more than 20 feet and weighs up to 2.5 tons (5,000 lbs). It is the worlds largest known predatory fish and lives in almost all coastal waters with exception to arctic waters. There are larger amounts of great whites in the coasts off of Australia, California, and South Africa among other areas. This is not a shark I would want to be anywhere near while swimming in the water. I would probably pee in my swimming trunks.

2) Mako Shark
A mako shark is one of the coolest looking sharks in my opinion. It is a very sleek looking fish and one of the fastest sharks in the ocean. There are two types of makos, longfin and shortfin mako sharks, the longfin is the larger of the two. Mako sharks usually grow to an average of 6-10 feet in length and weigh between 400-500 lbs. Mako sharks are usually found in warmer tropical waters. Shortfin makos have been known to reach speeds of over 30 mph and there are reports of them moving at higher bursts of over 45 mph. The shark can also jump over 25 feet in the air.

3) Tiger Shark
The tiger shark has a distinct look with dark stripes similar to that of a tiger. It is the 2nd largest predatory shark after the great white. Grown tiger sharks average 11-14 feet in length and can weigh up to a ton. This shark usually hunts at night and lives on a diet that consists of fish, seals, birds, other sharks, squid, and dophins, it actually will eat almost anything though. The tiger shark is known as the “wastbasket of the sea”.

4) Whale Shark
The whale shark is the largest living fish and can grow up to 40 feet long and weigh up to 15 tons. Now that’s a whale of a shark! Get it? Whale shark, whale of a shark. I’m dumb sometimes. Anyways, it is a filter feeding fish and feeds mostly on plankton, krill, and the like. The whale shark is known to be a gentle shark and not a significant threat to humans. I think it is fascinating that this shark is kept in captivity in a few aquariums around the world right now, I would love to see that.

5) Thresher Shark
I have always thought the thresher shark was an interesting shark because of their long tails, which are about a third of their body length. They are also known as the fox shark by some. The thresher shark is usually found in the open ocean for the most part. There are several types of thresher sharks but the largest species can reach lengths of up to 20 feet. Their long tales are used as a weapon to stun prey. I remember I read about a story where a thresher shark whipped its tale out of the water and cut off a mans head, I am not sure this was a confirmed report or not however.

There are many other types of sharks to get to know, so go to the library pick up a few books and read up!

I have wanted a watch for a while now, but I don’t really know why. I mean, I have a cell phone and ever since cell phones came out there hasn’t been much need for a watch. The cell phone was soon revolutionized by the iphone and that pretty much made life about 5x’s better. I mean, who really wears watches anyway? Not me… at least not until now.

I wanted a watch primarily because I am a fitness instructor and I needed to see my stop watch, plus I wanted to see my heart rate and I also didn’t want to have to use my bare hand with my iphone. Now when it’s cold I can just flip my wrist and check it out. I don’t have to take my hand out of my gloves for any reason at all, not even to challenge a knight to a dual.

My watch is handy, but it is also cumbersome. It gets snagged on things all the time and the buttons get pushed. This trouble is enough to make me not want it anymore, that and the fact that I can’t stop looking at the watch. Now that I have it I want to know what time it is all the time! It can drive a man crazy, crazy crazy, not just crazy. Who needs to look at their watch that many times?

I have thought about just tattooing a watch on my arm and it would read 5 o’clock. So that I would feel like it’s always the end of the day, or something like that. I know it would never work so I won’t do it, besides that, then I would have to use the iphone for the stop watch again.

Why does one need a watch? Aren’t cell phones the best thing? Watches are used to tell you the time more quickly and maybe that’s all. They are handy, but don’t let there cunning hands mess with your mind. Cell phones are great, but the less you take them out the less chance there is that you will break them, which is always a plus when carrying the iphone.