As I have noted previously, I wear flip flops all the time. Yes, yes, just like many of you, the flip flop is my go-to footwear for 8 months of the year. Several times I have been out and about, you know, shopping, mingling, wining and dining, being social, coffee-shop-ing, and all of a sudden a torrential downpour appears, and happens. Rain and flip flops do not go well together. They come from opposite sides of the railroad tracks. The sun and flip flops are on one side of the tracks, while rain and army boots are on the other side.

The other day while walking out of Whole Foods Market, I almost bit the bullet. You see, not only does the flip flop not have good traction on a wet surface, but your foot, which is exposed, is now wet and is sliding off of the flip flop. Therefore, my flop went flip while my foot went flop, which almost sent me flying feet first!

Luckily, from my days as a neighborhood meter reader, in which I had to walk through every kind of weather imaginable, I have acquired a knack for catching myself while tripping. I think the trick is to let the foot go that is snagged or slipping. Just let it do its thing. In the meantime, use your other foot to correct your balance. You may have to let yourself fall in such a way that it makes it easier for your leg and foot to catch yourself, as you are falling in a manner with which your other leg is confident it can help you recover from.

Suppose you do not have the best coordination and would not be able to catch yourself, what else, what else could you do to keep yourself safe when wearing flip flops in the rain?? Well, you are in luck! We here at WhatToDoAbout.com have developed our proprietary Flop Chains! Just think of them like tire chains that you would put on your car when driving through heavy snowfall. Flop chains allow you to walk confidently in rainy weather. The comfortable leather strap nestles the top of your foot while the chains wrap the bottom of the flip and keep you from flopping.

Also, for those that cannot afford our custom Flop Chains, we offer custom engraved WhaToDoAbout.com canes. These beauties can be yours for only $750. The great thing about having a cane is that it really makes you a couple notches cooler, just for carrying it around. It is an excellent fashion statement that will transcend the years of your life, as you will enjoy it from 25 to 85. Spread out over 60 years, the initial investment is minimal, and the cane is multipurpose. Not only does the cane help you to maintain your balance through slippery conditions, it can also help you in warding off would-be assassins! Or, if you have kids, and we all know kids need discipline, you will always have your custom cane nearby to help provide that discipline!

There you have it! What To Do About WALKING IN THE RAIN WITH FLIP FLOPS! May you never fall in the rain again!

There are many musical genres I enjoy and rap is no exception. Polka and country, they are the exceptions. I don’t like either of those, but that is another article for another blog somewhere out there. I grew up listening to contemporary christian pop music, rap, and later in my teens I started to get into hardcore and metal. This is a weird array of music, especially if you add the fact that I spent a summer with an album of reggae from the band christ-afari. The music became part of me as I grew up.

I have had this place in my heart for rap since I was 16. Getting down with some Bone Thugs and Harmony, 2pac, DC Talk, and of course some Gospel Gangstaz. I know it’s crazy, but I liked some stuff from all of them. When I would listen to rap music I felt like I could beat up anyone even though I didn’t have too. A simple blank stare would scare anyone off, so long as California Love was playing in the background. I learned to play the drums while listening to and playing to DC Talk, Audio Adrenaline and Newsboys. These were also a little more accessible in our house, because my mom felt like if you were listening to bad music you were bad.

So few of my friends like rap music, they are very few and far between. I am listening to some as I write this article and my buds have this look on their face like “is this going to happen all night?”. It may, but probably won’t because I care what they think, kind of… now onto Ace Of Base.

What will I do about listening to rap music? I will continue to let it fly in my iphone shuffle playlist because it can be the perfect compliment to some “new metal” or snuggle right up to some “piano rock”. I will roll down the windows and blare that stuff… till someone walks up beside me, then I will turn it down so I don’t get beat up. While sipping my gin and juice!

It’s never too late to do some learning. That’s what I always say, that is why I went back to school and became a certified personal trainer and nutrition specialist. There is always more learning to be done. When I told my son that he would have to learn how to play football he cried. I waited for about a year and told him that he needed to take piano lessons before he could get a drum set. He was so excited and now after his first lesson he says “daddy, I love piano!” Really? Why not football first? Oh well, this is technically cheaper and he could become smarter instead of getting injured.

I want him to learn lots of instruments, but piano must be first. Why? I am glad you asked…. Because it takes more work. Doubt that? Then, Mr. Smarty pants you try it. Either way, this is the order of play when it comes to instruments in our house.

-Piano
-Drums
-Guitar
-Bass (by this time it will be cake)

When it comes to sports, there is a list that must be followed whether he likes it or not.

-Football
-Baseball
-Hockey
-Rugby
-Polo
-Water polo
-Golf
-Field hockey
-Frisbee golf
-Competitive swimming
…..maybe soccer, but not if I can help it.

There is always a list, even when you think there is no list, there is always a list. If you doubt this, ask your wife or any respectable woman, she will tell you. So fellahs, you learn to play the piano and suddenly the women won’t be so hard to figure out. Just play one note on the piano and suddenly she is fixed!

Woot! Woot! I don’t know what woot means really, but I like saying it.

It’s back! Yes I know you missed reading my regular Top 10 Facebook Statuses post. Woot!

Todays best Facebook statuses currently being used by our friends (on Facebook that is) are listed below.

(names will remain anonymous)

1.) “Supporting Blink 182″ – (I think they get plenty of support already…unless you mean breast support of course.)
2.) “Just thought about something… If LeBron quit in the playoffs, why did they want to resign him at all!? – (Because it’s Cleveland.)
3.) “I’m really hoping we can make it through the night w/o sleep walking!” – (At least if you guys die you most likely won’t know it.)
4.) “De-cluttering my life before they make an episode of Hoarder’s about me! I will document the treasures I find! Let the entertainment begin..” – (If you find a big bag of money it’s mine…not sure how I lost that at your place but trust me, it’s mine.)

5.) “is thankful for supportive friends who do whatever it takes to help me stay grounded ” – (What you got against flying?)
6.) “these peaches from the Farmer’s Market are rockin’ my world right now!” – (Oh peaches!)
7.) “WOOT my friends, woot like you’ve never wooted before!!”
8.) “I loathe you NES for doubling my electric bill this month for no reason except that its july. Classy.” – (You played your Nintendo Entertainment System that much? dang.)

9.) “Oh sweet jesus. After going so long without tv, I’m suddenly angered by the stupidity of all commercials and 96% of programming. Was it always this dumb or did I just now notice?”
10.) “Spend more time in changing yourself and less time trying to change others.”

Become a fan of WhatToDoAbout.com on Facebook right here!

Woot!

Ever had one of those moments when you thought, just for a second, that you were going to die? Did this thought come to you while you were driving? No? Well, mine came while I was in the passenger seat of my sisters car. She was driving with her knee while she was looking in the mirror playing with her hair. This was going on while we were bolting down the highway at 80 MPH. Yeah, all while she was talking to her husband on her cell phone!!!

I know, I know, all this coming from the guy with 27 moving violations, 3 non- moving violations and 2 crosswalk violations. I guess the difference is that while I flirt with danger, my sister straight up kisses it on the mouth! We both were bred for danger, we drive like everything is a race and everyone is a viable competitor, even the 78 year old in the cadillac. You all are going down!

I don’t know that I am a better driver, but I must say that I only drive crazy in spurts when I get in one of my moods. My sister seems to be in one of those moods all the time, and I don’t think she knows it. It’s like taking a squirrel, putting eyeliner on it, spinning it around in circles, then feeding it speed laced brownies, slapping it in the face, giving it a Chrysler 300 and hoping for the best! The squirrel would still drive better. Good God, woman, keep it between the lines!

I am not normally scared in the passenger seat, as a matter of fact I sometimes enjoy it, so long as I am not riding shotgun with Carrie (likes to use the brakes on the highway) or Andrew (he really likes to tell people how they are driving). One of my favorite friends to ride shotgun with is Tim. Tim has read enough Car and Driver/Motor Trend magazines that he pisses defensive driving. My sister, on the other hand, makes me feel like I have been recently rescued from a terrorist right before he started torturing me ( still tied up)… speeding down the highway as the terrorist is shooting at us, she ducks and dives into the right lane. Passing and weaving like she is an over zealous hair dresser and the lanes of the highway are a head of flowing locks that she wants braid… very badly!

You are wondering what to do about this? Well, I will tell you! I got out my phone and called her. She answered. I then told her I was telling mother. She laughed hard (inside joke) and we made it to the coffee shop alive. Just imagine how she drives after a cup of joe.

There are several issues to consider when using the kitchen towel. One of the problems that most people have, is that they continually use a dirty towel. I have never completely understood why people continually use a dirty kitchen towel, or why it is even dirty in the first place (besides maybe accidently wiping up food or dirt with it). If your hands are clean and your dishes are clean, then the towel should remain clean after drying your hands or your dishes. If the towel is left to dry properly, after doing its job of drying other things, then it should not grow mold or mildew. After a little while, it will need to be changed out as it will gradually collect oils from your hands and pans and stuff from the kitchen, despite your best efforts to let everything that touches it be clean.

It is important to monitor the kitchen towel, especially if you have unobservant roommates or family members, as they may have inadvertently wiped up chicken blood, or, perhaps, maybe coffee was spilled on the counter and the towel was set in it and then placed right back on the handle without anyone noticing.

Some people like to have two towels in the kitchen, one towel to use for hand drying, and one towel to use for drying dishes. I think the two towel method is useful for maintaining a cleaner towel for longer periods, although, while you may be able to stretch the usefulness of the clean towels, you now have the extra work of watching, swtiching out, and washing two towels as opposed to one. I like having two towels in the kitchen just so I can use one to snap people in the bum, but that’s just me. Towel snap!

So, as you should have been able to glean, the most important thing for excellent use of the kitchen towel is keeping it clean. The second most important thing is to allow it to dry properly in between uses. Sure, sure you will have times when you need a towel to clean up a dirty mess, but then that towel will go straight to the wash and will not be a regular customer of your hands or dishes for the next week.

If you fail to clean your towel or allow it to dry properly, it will develop a a terrible smell that will haunt you in your dreams. The smell will overtake your every thought and permanently bind you to its will. You will never again escape its clutches. It will be the farthest thing from the most interesting smell in the world, and yet, everyday you will think you smell the smell, even when you do not.

I have recently become addicted to a new iPhone app game called Fruit Ninja thanks to my good buddy Andy. I’ve read that all ninjas hate fruit and this game allows you to swipe fruit with your finger to end their journey. Thanks to this game I am now in daily training to become an actual real life fruit ninja, except I will still like fruit obviously. My goal is just to take my love for eating fruit and add my love for slashing and splattering fruit to it. As I practice slashing and splattering fruit with my finger I hope to become an elite ninja and gain more pleasure from enjoying a much more messy yet satisfying fruit consumption experience.

My long term goal is to open my own dojo and teach other little fruit ninja hopefuls my secrets in slashing and splattering fruit. I will also be providing them with a nutritious fruity snack at the same time which is something their little bodies need anyways, parents will like that. Instead of having colored belts to show rank like in most martial arts, I will have fruity belts, for example the banana belt is for beginners, the berry belt is a level higher, the citrus belt is a level higher than that, followed by apples, island fruits, and then on to melons…you get the idea. I will teach my little fruit seeds (that’s what I will call my young students) how to slash to the point where they can achieve 2 fruit combos, 3 fruit combos, 4 fruit combos, and even the famous 5 fruit combo! Of course a 5 fruit combo of all melons and coconuts seems a bit far fetched but it is possible my friends. A fruit combo is achieved when more than 1 fruit is slashed and splattered with a single swipe. This takes the fruity pleasure to a whole new level of satisfaction.

Someday when I retire I will become ‘Master Nate the Fruit Sensei’. I hope to take my message of fruitiness to the masses and start a new refreshing movement of messiness. So if you’re stuck in a rut, or just frequently constipated, you’re welcome to follow me on to fruitier pastures!

To start your journey with me visit: www.fruitninja.com

Well, I know how to swim, swim… but not efficiently, as in, how to breath or not breath during the strokes of competitive swimming. I can swim to save my life or someone else’s, but if it were to compete I wouldn’t have a prayer out there. I know this because of O’ sweet Kyla. My client-turned-friend-turned-part-time-employee, she is seemingly sweet, till she throws you into the water. Face first! Her, Jennifer, and I are all contemplating a triathalon. After a discussion on swimming we found out that Kyla is a swim coach and used to compete in swimming. So I inquired of her to teach me how to straighten my hips and get better at swimming. She raised her eyebrows like she didn’t know what I was talking about. “Hips?!” she said, wondering if we were still talking about swimming. I said, “you’ll see”, figuring that she would just make a few adjustments in my body language of swimming. I had no idea what was next…

Let me do a little more setup to this Kyla person you are being introduced to today. I met her a little over a year ago when she came to a free boot camp I was having, with a friend. After not seeing her for 2 weeks she came back, but without the friend, I saw that she had some experience in boot camping. She could punch with the best of them and that meant she could box, which means she could probably take me. So I knew she was tough, but would find out later how tough she was. She soon joined a class we like to call “kill you with weights” and in this class I do what I do best. I find your weakness and dance on them (cause there are always more than one) while slapping your face. It will make you stronger, and a better person… or something like that.

Kyla came and was tough like I thought, keeping up with the fellah’s and beating a few of them as well. She kind of got on my nerves because I couldn’t break her… especially those abs of hers, until one day we decided to do the pushup/situp challenge. This was really tough, 300 a day all the way up to 1000 a day by the end of the month. She stuck in there right with me, which was unexpected. Why? Because I didn’t challenge her to this, she heard that I was doing it and jumped right in. I know crazy tough right?! But I got those abs (evil laugh).

I tell you this to tell you that she was a little to excited to throw me into the water. I have heard her when she instructs my boot campers for me, you wouldn’t be able to tell that she eats sit-ups for breakfast. So sweet. Till she has me in the water! I drank more pool water that day than I have in my whole life. She knows how competitive I am and she screws with my head. After the first lesson she told me “sure, we can swim a half mile in the lake without rest” knowing that I would be crazy enough to do it. I did, it was hard.

In summary, I will tell you that I haven’t learned how to swim competitively, but I will not quit, I can’t… I will not stop till I figure this out. I can’t let her win at my challenge to quit at hers. Breathe, blow bubbles, then repeat, and even though I think that the bubbles are silly, I will listen when she yells at me.

Why am I so competitive?

You know it’s bad when you get your best friend, your wife’s best friend, your cousin-in-law and a high school client telling you that you need to proofread everything before you share it. My problem is that I think I am texting, typing, and talking at the same pace that I am thinking, but alas, I am on a 6 second delay… which leaves me missing words or putting them in the wrong order, or worse yet, just not spelling correctly. Put all these things together and I look a mess, like a 3rd grader that sprinkled some crack in his coffee before he snorted it. Too much? Oh well… you get my drift.

In fact, I just misspelled grammar at the top of this article. There is no time, no time to think, I got to type. I can’t stop to sound things out or say “i before e except after c”. I have work to do! I must hurry!, to what, I don’t know, but make no mistake, I’ll be there early. Wherever “there” is.

Sure, I’ll leave out a comma or two, and even spell your when it should be you’re… I guess it all comes down to patience and attention to detail. Or is it too patience? Who knows?… I am just glad that I have friends like, Tim, who aren’t afraid to spell check me. Well, I guess it doesn’t have anything to do with fear so much as it does have to do with readability. Is that a word?

So what does one do down here on the bottom of the grammar food chain? You get real good at taking suggestions… Ok, ok…. Tim just yelled at me and said they are rules, not suggestions, or something like that. I wasn’t much for rules, but suggestions roll off my back like water on a ducks ass. I am just thankful that I haven’t misspelled any tattoos, that would suck.

So earlier this week I was sitting in a local Nashville cafe/market with wtdaTerry, wtdaTim, and our pal Steve from Ohio. I decided to act like I was focused and working intently on my computer as they carried on with boyish banter. I’ll now let the world in on my secret, I was not working intently on anything at all…except entertaining myself (and now you) by listening to and typing the dialogue of my friends. I’ve copied the best of the best below!

*****

Tim: Mmm, this is better than I remember it. [eating ice cream]

Terry: That’s what she said.

*****

[thinking up ideas for wtdaNate (me) to write about.]

Terry: What To Do About THE WORLD CUP.

Terry: Who watches soccor??

Terry: Any help at all?

Nate: [shakes head]

Terry: He’s writing about crocheting.

Terry: You don’t know me at all Terry [high pitched voice...talking about himself].

*****

[lame music playing in the background]

Me: How’s that ice cream guys

Steve: Super good

Tim: delectable

Tim: I am very well convinced that most Americans do not eat enough saturated fats.

*****

Steve: I don’t have a whole lot of taste for art, I just think artists should be underpaid. [there just happens to be lots of bad art pieces hanging on the walls around us]

Steve: I think I should try and be an artist.

Tim: Maybe we should all try together.

Tim: Maybe we can make a masterpiece and sell it in a coffee shop for $400.

Tim: Drinks on me!

*****

[back to ice cream]

Terry: It’s not about the sweetness or how delectable it is, it’s about how I can’t stand to have something that’s not finished [talking about his pint of ice cream]

Tim: Scrape the top layer of freezer burn off and it’s fine.

Tim: I’m going to have about 250% of my daily recommended saturated fat intake.

Tim: What about you Steve.

Steve: I just had 120%

Steve: Now why would you use fair trade sugar AND regular sugar.

Tim: We want to help the fair trade people.

Steve: But not too much.

Tim: I really feel like I could make good ice cream. Like this quality but better ingredients. I really feel like I have it in me.

Steve: You wanna go global with this?

Tim: We are starting a raw milk ice cream business in California. Instead of Ben & Jerrys it’s going to be called Tim & Terrys.

Terry: I just don’t wanna be the one with the beard.

*****

That’s all I got kids. At least until the next time I act like I’m doing something but really writing down the conversation of my friends.