If there’s a deadline, it will almost always be late. It seems to attract lateness like a moth to the flame. So how do we beat these deadlines? I don’t know your answer, but I will give you my list.

Stamp it. Add said deadline.
Prioritize it. Put it in it’s place.
Double stamp it. Move said deadline.
Do it. Actually look at the task and give it a title.
Triple stamp it. Move deadline back a day.
Finish it. Submit project for spell checking.
Triple stamp a double stamp. You can’t triple stamp a double stamp!
Complete it. Turn in and hope for the best!

I hope this list helps you, I put it to the test at least once a week. If you find yourself not finishing the list, then you may want to write the article “what to do about procrastination”. As I always say, “when in doubt, blog it out!”

Welp is a flagrant corruption of the word well. The puh sound added to the end of welp enhances the conspicuousness and finality of the meaning. I am not sure how I feel about that.

Typically, welp might be said when one feels as if there is nothing else to say regarding a matter or circumstance, or that one is resigned. However, it may also be used, as I often do, when one is about to list one’s options. An example for the former would be, “Welp, see ya later!” or “Welp, that’s all there is to say.” An example for the latter would be, “Welp, we could go out to eat, go shopping, or go jump off a cliff?” or “Welp, there is a lot of confidence instilled when you take a stand in life and live with freedom, freedom to do what is right, not to do whatever one wants or desires.”

Those who only see it as a negative thing, tend that way in life. They disparage, and thus they feel disparaged themselves. Welp, as with other variations of established words, should be said with lightheartedness, not darkheartedness. That really is the key in writing and thinking about, what to do about welping: promoting the goodwill and common understanding of the usage.

I am not, by any means, advocating that everyone take up the usage of the word welp in greater frequency. In fact, I am very comfortable with people not ever using it. It is not to be used in such a way that would be to the abandonment of its highly esteemed parent: well. Welp, that is all. May you be blessed.

Why is it that new clothes make you feel like a new person? More confident? More secure? Ay? For certain, you want to wear your new outfit right away. Straightaway! Let’s wear the new clothes!

It is precisely these feelings that bother me with new clothes. Whenever I get new clothes, I feel like not wearing them right away just because I naturally have the tendency to want to wear them right away. I want to stick it to those feelings!

Now, in my new enlightened state, I like to break clothes in slowly. I may wear them around the house a couple of times… a week after I get them. Then, I may wear them out for running errands around town. It gives me a chance to get to know the new clothes and for them to get to know me, which, of course they are dying to do.

I find that not wearing new clothes right away takes away the power of clothes strangle hold on me. They want to make me think that I will look really really great in them, look like I have things together, and be a better person. But I know, oh I know, they most likely will make me worse of a person… I mean, how can you mess with perfection. I kid, I kid. But seriously, our trust in appearances oftentimes deceives us before it deceives anyone else.

A couple more days and I will wear my new jeans.

Am I able to tell you this because I have now found the perfect fit and ended my quest as a jobseeker? No, and therefore I think I am all the more qualified to tell you to take heart. I mean, so many people might not be able to identify with you at all and others can identify because they have been through it, but the feelings change so fast and looking back feels different than being in the midst of something like looking for work. Also, if you are able to take heart in the midst of your job seekingness (new word) then you are truly making progress in your quest to actually make something of yourself.

Am I getting sidetracked? No, let me carry on. So maybe you have an idea, a great idea, of what you would like to do and are not currently doing it and the path to doing it seems rather overgrown, hidden, and dark… not to mention the path costs money! You need a way to eat! And sleep! And pay for guides! And you need this all as you walk along this overgrown path through the forest (we are still talking about jobs).

So there you are, here we are, back at the beginning, and you are sending in resum√©s, cover letters, and scouring job boards. Not very fun, and seemingly not very effective. What is effective is prayer… and lots of it. Also, talking to people is mucho mucho more effecto. The more people you can talk to the better.

Another thing you can do, that is very effective, is targeting specific jobs and studying them and showing how it can be done better. That is, you can take an interest in specific companies and show them how much you care by putting time and effort into thinking about what they are doing and improving upon it. Then, instead of sitting at home applying for jobs, you can tell them you will work for free for two to four weeks and see how things work out. You get experience (internship for the resumé), and a possible way in with the company, and they get help.

Also, during your job seekingness (new word), make sure you remain disciplined in a schedule. Place strict time limits on all entertainment venues and distractions (limit TV, video games, social networking sites, etc). While you may have a shifted schedule due to meeting with people and job searches, do all that you can to maintain a schedule and/or a task list.

There is much to say when it comes to seeking a new job, it is almost as if whole books could be written on the subject. Regardless, my hope, our hope, is that you take heart little one, buck up buttercup, do not grow faint or weary. You will make it out alive. (Most likely).

It’s important as a foot tapper to be aware of your surroundings and to not let it annoy anyone who may be around you. Use socks or soft padded shoes on carpet for quiet tapping. Choose wooden soles and wooden floors for a rousing good time tapping. I typically go with bare feet or socks on wooden floors as I find that it is a nice mixture of intensity and quietness. Also, add in some finger tapping and let the good times roll.

I have even found myself tapping away during meetings or formal gatherings. it is kind of relaxing and tiring at the same time. I mean, it is fun to accent the beats with your feet, but then you get tired. By the time you get tired you just don’t want to stop because you were having so much fun accenting the beats with your feet.

Did you know that if you tap your feet it is a sign of an abundance of energy? No, it’s not. I really don’t know. I do know (knowing is half the battle) that tapping improves circulation and can warm your feet. So tap away. Not tap dancing… just plain ole tapping your feet. Let’s see if you can accent the beats with your feet.

For those of you who are newly married, single looking to get married, or somewhere in between, you need to be warned. If you like your mother-in-law, and I do, and by like I mean I don’t hate her… If you plan on staying with her instead of your own mother, oh boy. What happens here doesn’t make much sense, unless you are post-menopausal and angry with the world. Your mom will think that you like your mother-in-law more than her. We all know how crazy this is! You may want to stay with your in-laws for a host of reasons like: they are central to friends and activities, they are supplying you with a fully furnished apartment for your stay, and they will let you sleep past 9 am (but not without a guilt trip when you wake up). Then, of course you are going to make the logical decision.

Your mother may not see this as the practical decision, as a matter of fact she will just take it as spiteful and make constant mis-judgements on your character and the character of your wife. It doesn’t matter how wrong she is, or how many times you tell her to move closer to civilization. She won’t do it and she will blame you for your lack of compassion when it comes to her own failures at house hunting.

If this isn’t making any sense to you, you must be single or an only child, or maybe even just a jerk… either way, nobody cares what you think.

If you are looking to settle down with a nice girl, please, for the love of pete, make sure her family is at least 400 miles from yours. I honestly think it would be easier. Yeah maybe not practical for vacation time, taking off two full weeks within 60 days. BUT it will make the drama subside a little… at least I think it would. My mom is probably just looking for something to disapprove of.

If you are wondering what I’m going to do, you are in for a treat. After staying with my mother last time I was in town and realizing she and my dad were content to just sit and watch TV, I decided that I will make a rigorous schedule that will keep us moving and wear all of our family out as only I know how to do. If I can’t make the drama go away I will make them so annoyed they won’t want me to stay. Practical jokes are the gifts that keep on giving.

Sometimes it seems like my feet need to breathe. Do you ever have that feeling? At the same time my toes might be a little cold. Therefore my socks come half off and that way my heel can get some air while my toes can remain covered. Hey it works.

The strange thing is that my feet are rarely lukewarm. Isn’t it strange that feet can be both hot and cold? Sometimes my feet feel hot on the inside… probably because of the blood… and cold on the outside… probably because of the temperature of my room. Maybe I am imagining all of this. Maybe it is all just a deep and meaningful metaphor. Maybe you have cold feet and need to put your socks half on. Maybe you have hot feet and need to take your socks half off. Too many maybes.

Let’s be honest. Having a heater or an air conditioner is better than socks.

Metaphorically speaking… and literally speaking. Do you catch my drift? Are you speaking?

Have you ever been practicing something for so long that you got really good at it and in turn thought that you would never not do it? I know. I have and yet here I am out of practice. I mean, I haven’t been playing my drums every day like I have been known to do for the last, I don’t know… 13 or so years! I haven’t sat down and wrote an article for WTDA or LFA in a long time. It feels like a part of me died, I haven’t even ran in what seems like 2 months. What’s happening to me??

I’ll tell ya what’s going on, I have been real busy making sure my business stays busy. Yeah, I know, likely excuse, but in my defense I have hired a new trainer, appointed an assistant, took up piano lessons, hosting a Bible study, trying to buy a car and really trying to sell a couple of kids… Ok, not the last one, but you get it–real busy around here lately.

So among the things I am getting back to practicing, running is one of those. I have been back on track with my running, gearing up for a full marathon. I know, crazy, right? Marathons are like cigarettes, they take years off your life, that is, of course, if you are horrible with your nutrition. But this is neither here nor there, an entirely different subject for a blog that is not here but there.

I have started playing drums again, but not everyday because of said piano lessons. I am now even writing articles again, hence this article. It’s only a matter of time before I make them funny again, because that only gets better when you practice it or if you have been drinking or sitting around a camp fire.

So here you go, your motivation to get back to those good habits that have lead us to love you for who you are, or for what you do. Mainly for what you do. Sorta. Find your motivation in the crazy ex-military guy telling you, you look fit as you run past him trying not to make eye contact. Find motivation in your friends that tell you that you used to be good at drums. Maybe find motivation in your young new trainer as she says, “I bet you can’t do more than 20 pull ups!” Child please! Whatever it is, do it for the right reasons, do it for the joy it brings to your friends. Do it for me, do it for the children… just make sure you do it!

Terry and I just happened to be walking up Nolensville Road to pick up a twenty foot ladder at a friend’s house. Why were we walking 0.7 miles instead of driving? Well, there was the problem of not having a truck to carry a ladder, and there was also the fact that it was only 0.7 miles.

Nolensville is a fun road, and there are no end to places like Latino Tires:

One of the obvious benefits of walking to pick up the ladder is that it gave Terry and I a chance to talk. We all know what happens when Terry and I have a chance to talk, we get all these crazy ideas. On the walk back, however, we were separated by twenty feet of ladder, and I was yelling back there, “everything all right?!”. I had to keep checking in because it seems my good personal trainer friend was getting a bit winded and I just wanted to make sure that he didn’t need to stop and sit down for a few minutes. I hardly broke a sweat. If I had, I would have made sure it hurt.

Here are a couple recommendations for carrying a ladder down Nolensville Road:
1. I recommend bringing a friend, or a non-friend but willing participant.
2. I recommend, when approaching thugs, to have the ladder act as leverage between you and the thug. This way, you can either use it to shield yourself from any potential blows, or you can throw it down in such a way that it creates an obstacle for the thug as you make a wild dash for safety.
3. I recommend, when crossing the street to have the ladder in front of you, that way if a car is coming you can sacrifice the ladder and allow it to be smashed instead of your body.

In conclusion, I highly recommend carrying a ladder down Nolensville Road. It is an experience that I will cherish and keep in my heart, wherever I go, I will always remember the day I carried a ladder down Nolensville Road. It was such a happy time and the memories are priceless. How can you put a price on such things?