As much fun as this is all the time, there are times and places that should not have quotes of any kind in them. These places are subject to change depending on the people. For instance, say you are someplace new or slightly new, but definitely with new people and you are getting to know these people in a semi- professional setting. I mean, no one is in a suit or a tie, but you are saying things like “what is it you do for a living?” and “come here often?” These are typical sayings of a semi- professional setting, you know what I mean? The atmosphere is where you have a napkin in your lap and no one eats till everyone else is served and you all are staring blankly at a TV that is playing figure skating. Here is where you don’t want your first words to be a quote from anything. Then to top it off, you look at your friend expecting him or her to laugh with you as they normally would. But of course they don’t because they want to at least pretend they have more of a life than you.

Here is a short list of places not to use movie quotes:

-First date
-Aformentioned restaurant with “new” friends
-At church
-On your honeymoon
-During a pat down from a TSA officer
-Anytime there is any one in a the room with who is trying to start a conversation… Never mind this is exactly where you should do it!

Be responsible with your quotes and don’t over use them, it will sound like all you do is play video games and watch the same movies over and over again. If you are dating a girl and it’s been a month or two you are safe to drop some quotes on her. If she jets, it was never meant to be, but if she stays and laughs, then, well… she is the one.

The movies there are much like the movies we see at the uppity movie theater at the other end of town, wait a second… they are exactly the same! The movie theater on the other side of town in the “uppity, I am to good for you because I drive a bimmer” neighborhood is 10 minutes further and doesn’t have the neon lights and security guards. So I guess it’s not “ghetto”, but why not? Well herein lies the reason for this article, what does a ghetto theatre have that any other theater does not?

Lets make a list, and yes… check it twice! Ghetto theater amenities:

1. Movies (check)
2. Clean restrooms (I remember when this was all it took for an establishment to be considered great, those were the days)
3. Sticky floors (just like every movie theater and ball park ever built)
4. Arcade ( Any self respecting theater owner can get with this)
5. Heaping Mound of Popcorn ( nothing says entertainment like butter on your pants and salt burning your lips)
6. Over priced tickets ( seriously $8 for one movie?)
7. Plenty of parking ( Ok there is more at the other movie theater but I hardly think this counts)
8. Ten minutes closer to my house ( Oh this counts because it counts)

So there you go, a list of things that the “ghetto” theater has. Now, don’t you want to go see a movie there? I know I do, as a matter of fact I think I will this weekend. But if something happens to me, really… say goodbye to my family for me. Ghetto! Ha! I didn’t see any spinners in the parking lot, there wasn’t any ammunition for sale at the concession stand, there weren’t any “friendly females” waiting by my car offering to take me for a ride. There was only pure un-adulterated entertainment! And did I mention that it’s really close?

At some point in almost every day I say a quote from Dumb & Dumber, I also often quote lines from movies such as The Princess Bride, Nacho Libre, and Uncle Buck. Below are 5 examples of situations where I or someone could use quotes from these films.

1) When a friend or family member makes a mistake. This is an excellent time, depending on the severity of the mistake, to say: “You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is ‘Never get involved in a land war in Asia,’ but only slightly less well known is this: ‘Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.’” One could also say: “Well, it’s not gonna do us any good to sit here whinin’ about it. We’re in a hole. We’re just gonna have to dig ourselves out.” Or I would probably be the one to say: “Just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this, and totally redeem yourself!” If the person who made the mistake catches on and goes with the humor invoked they could say: “Oh! Well, pardon me, Mr. PERFECT!!! I guess I forgot that you never, ever make a mistake!”

2) When my roommates and I are having a rough day for whatever reason. There are several lines from Dumb & Dumber that are absolute gems to use during these times. The first would be: “We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets’ heads are fallin’ off!!” I could also say “I was robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn’t even see it coming!” or even “I fell off the jetway again.” would work.

3) If someone is asking me several questions back-to-back. I might say: “What’s your record for consecutive questions asked?” If the other person is fan of the movie Uncle Buck they might respond with “38″ and then you could say “I’m your dads brother alright.” If you are asked a question about someone off in the distance for some odd reason then you might say “its probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night… in… eel-infested waters.”

4) If your mom makes corn on the cob for dinner. When you are given your corn say: “Get that corn outta my face!” This would also be an ideal time for one of your friends to respond with “Take it easssssy.” or “I’m not listening to you. You’re crazy.” or even “Save me a piece of that corn for later. “You could then ask what is for dessert and if you get no response then say: “I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night… for some toast.”

5) When you and your friends or family are discussing where to go, whether it be for vacation or just a night of fun. You could say: “I’ll tell ya where we’ll go. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. And beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano.”

There are loads of other situations and examples where quotes from these movies will work well, so think of other ways you can use them or use quotes from your own favorite films.

“A situation may come up say for example, someone has been drinking, and about to drive a loved one home, then I’d like to know I have it. Not to kill, no. Just to maim. Take a little off the shoulder. Swish! The elbow. Slash! Shave a little meat off the old kneecap. Fowap! Ooooo! You got both kneecaps? I like to keep mine razor sharp. Sharp enough you can shave with it. Why I’ve been known to circumcise a gnat. You’re not a gnat are you, Bug? Wait a minute, bug, gnat. Is there a little similarity? Whoa, I think there is! Ha ha ha. You understand what I’m talking about? I don’t think you do. I’ll be right back.”

I saw this movie in a pre-screening and really didn’t know what to expect. I thought that a documentary couldn’t be that entertaining. I was wrong. What I walked away with is a real sense of what is going on. Better than that, I had a good time watching. Not only was it insightful, but the movie was also engaging, I was truly inspired.

Maybe this movie will inspire change in the U.S.A. Maybe it won’t. One of the best insights from the movie is how we all approach science from our worldview. Therefore, people who believe in God and the Bible are more likely to recognize intelligent design or creation and people who do not believe in God or the Bible are more likely to believe in evolution. Both sides will discount the other. It takes faith to believe either… what the movie points out is that faith (on either side) can and does still have intellectual evidence.

The movie, especially if taken with the understanding that everyone (read EVERYONE) approaches science with presuppositions, has some excellent points to make one ponder. Mark your calendar for April 18, 2008. We did.

Related Articles:

What To Do About MY THOUGHTS ON EXPELLED THE MOVIE

What To Do About MY THOUGHTS ON INTELLIGENT DESIGN

What To Do About REACTING TO EXPELLED THE MOVIE