If there’s a deadline, it will almost always be late. It seems to attract lateness like a moth to the flame. So how do we beat these deadlines? I don’t know your answer, but I will give you my list.

Stamp it. Add said deadline.
Prioritize it. Put it in it’s place.
Double stamp it. Move said deadline.
Do it. Actually look at the task and give it a title.
Triple stamp it. Move deadline back a day.
Finish it. Submit project for spell checking.
Triple stamp a double stamp. You can’t triple stamp a double stamp!
Complete it. Turn in and hope for the best!

I hope this list helps you, I put it to the test at least once a week. If you find yourself not finishing the list, then you may want to write the article “what to do about procrastination”. As I always say, “when in doubt, blog it out!”

You would think that there would be a trade off here with the cute and fuzzy to the loud and messy. There isn’t. I would much rather watch them run and frolic carelessly in my neighbor’s yard–as a matter of fact, I think that would be great and a good way to waste an hour of my morning. I digress.

What I want to do with those squirrels I can’t because of the hate mail I would receive, and then there are the neighbors always talking about the “gun laws”. I will tell you you exactly what I want to do with my little furry foe. I will tell you by first telling you about my uncle, trust me it will make sense in the end.

My uncle on my dad’s side, I can’t specify because there are seven, but I will tell you he is older than my dad and cleans his gun at the dinner table during dinner. One day when I was 12 my dad asked me if I wanted to go with him up to my uncle’s place. I said, “sure”, I didn’t really remember this uncle because there are seven, but I didn’t want to hang out at home because I have sisters.

So we get there in a little city called Covington, OH, where they have 5 bars and 2 stop lights. My uncle comes out of the garage and we joined him to go up to the house when he stopped dead in his tracks. He turned to my dad and said, “do you hear that?” My dad said, “what?” “Those damn squirrels are over there by my house again.” He proceeded to tell us that they had chewed their way into his house and made a giant nest where they had babies and they peed all over the attic till it soaked though the ceiling and down the wall. My dad was surprised to see my uncle return very quickly from the garage with a 12-gauge shot gun. He pulled two shells out of his pocket and my dad said to me, “son, cover your ears”. Then all of the sudden BOOM BOOM! Two toasty squirrels fell out of the tree and landed in the neighbor’s yard. Then I heard the neighbor say, “great shot, I will put these on the grill for you”.

So there you have it, this is the reason why I want to blast anything that doesn’t talk off of my property. It was the coolest thing that I have ever seen, and that is why my dad has never taken me back there. So what am I going to do? Well, due to the graphic nature of the solution, I cannot tell you, but I will tell you that when I find a “system” that works, you will be the first to know.

Welp is a flagrant corruption of the word well. The puh sound added to the end of welp enhances the conspicuousness and finality of the meaning. I am not sure how I feel about that.

Typically, welp might be said when one feels as if there is nothing else to say regarding a matter or circumstance, or that one is resigned. However, it may also be used, as I often do, when one is about to list one’s options. An example for the former would be, “Welp, see ya later!” or “Welp, that’s all there is to say.” An example for the latter would be, “Welp, we could go out to eat, go shopping, or go jump off a cliff?” or “Welp, there is a lot of confidence instilled when you take a stand in life and live with freedom, freedom to do what is right, not to do whatever one wants or desires.”

Those who only see it as a negative thing, tend that way in life. They disparage, and thus they feel disparaged themselves. Welp, as with other variations of established words, should be said with lightheartedness, not darkheartedness. That really is the key in writing and thinking about, what to do about welping: promoting the goodwill and common understanding of the usage.

I am not, by any means, advocating that everyone take up the usage of the word welp in greater frequency. In fact, I am very comfortable with people not ever using it. It is not to be used in such a way that would be to the abandonment of its highly esteemed parent: well. Welp, that is all. May you be blessed.

Slogans are interesting, as a matter of fact, the very word slogan is interesting. I mean who came up with this name and why does it sound like someone just got drunk and made it up. I mean slogan, really?? It sounds a lot like slur, or slow. The other words that start with the letters S and L aren’t that impressive, allusive maybe, but impressive definitely not! Allusive only because I can’t think of any other words that start with S and L right off the top of my head…

Moving on.

What if the word slogan had a slogan, what would it be? That’s like the question, if a tree falls in a forest when no one is around does it make a sound? Which is a yes, I think. If slogan had a slogan it would be, Slogan-The word that sums up the world. So in a world full of slogans I wonder what it would sound like if you had to say every slogan all the time…

Earlier today (today is the day dreams are made of) I was playing (because millions of people across the world love to play) words with friends (the word game that makes you seem smarter than you really are) and a thought (thinking – everyone’s doing it) crossed my mind that the world (the place where people come home to) is a scary place. When I sit (because standing is for losers) here and ponder (ponder is like wonder only more eloquent) my life (everything else is just death) I feel like I spend (spending – it makes saving look like a fat man with a donut) too much time (the other white meat (just wanted to see if you were still following)) playing games (games – why wouldn’t you?). That thought (just another thing you can do with your brain) entered my head (head or tails you can’t see without it) I was struck (like being hit but with vigor) with an idea (ideas are like storms of the mind), why not go for a run (running says, “I may not know how to exercise, but at least I’m doing something”). While on my run, I let my mind get carried (carrying is for the birds, get carried today!) away, I then decided that we should build (building is what men do when they are bored…) a tree house (houses are the new black).

This is just the tip of the iceberg, just imagine a world where slogans are used to describe every person in a few short letters… wait, isn’t that what facebook is doing? Crap… new idea!

Let me give you a little back story. It seems as though Nashville, TN, is having a bit of a poo storm, a crapacolypse, a poopacain. Whatever you call it, the crap was surely hitting the fan, and the window, and the car hood. This crapfest is happening for some scientific reason that I don’t really care about. All I know is, I am the target of willful pooping and flying!!

As I venture out on my run, I don’t see a whole lot of anything going on. It’s cold and we have a long morning ahead of us. After a quick potty break, I find that I now have excrement on my pant leg. How? Where? I don’t know! It’s nut brown and all crusty. “Ok”, I said thinking this would be an isolated occurrence. Wrong! Mile 17 poop on my head… if that’s not enough it’s starting to trickle onto my forehead. Thankfully I had a paper towel in my pocket. I wiped it away with some trouble, I was trying to maintain a 9 minute mile. Soon our run was done and after some laughs about the impending poo, we went home where I quickly washed my hair.

The next morning I got up and was feeling responsible, so I swept the floor, cleaned the bathroom, and took out the trash. While I was taking out said trash, I thought, “man those birds sure are making a mess.” Just then I was hit for the third time!! Three times in 24 hours!!! That has to be a new world record?! How does that happen??

What to do about having your head shat upon is to carry an umbrella when there is an all night poop-a-thon! Especially if the birds fancy your head over all other unpooped upon targets! Crazy!

One of the reasons I like broccoli sprouts so much is because they have so much sulforaphane in them! Sure you can eat broccoli and get some sulforaphane, but you get 10-20 times as much in broccoli sprouts than you do in cooked broccoli! Woa mama. Don’t stop eating your broccoli though, you can get all sorts of other vitamins and minerals and excellent goodness that will nourish your body.

You know how we talk about blending and smoothie-ing? Like when we talked about the magic bullet and making a smoothie smoothly? Well, what I really like to do is to put broccoli sprouts in my smoothie so that I can get sulforaphane with my smoothie. Yes. I like to blend. We like to blend. Broccoli sprouts and kale, and I am buzz…ing. Like a bee, not a drunkard.

So we are recommending, in this WTDA, that you take some means to get you some sulforaphane. Get your hands on some and let us know what you think. Stuff some sprouts in sandwiches and take lots when you feel a cold coming on, and maybe, perchance, if you dare, throw some in a smoothie.

It’s important as a foot tapper to be aware of your surroundings and to not let it annoy anyone who may be around you. Use socks or soft padded shoes on carpet for quiet tapping. Choose wooden soles and wooden floors for a rousing good time tapping. I typically go with bare feet or socks on wooden floors as I find that it is a nice mixture of intensity and quietness. Also, add in some finger tapping and let the good times roll.

I have even found myself tapping away during meetings or formal gatherings. it is kind of relaxing and tiring at the same time. I mean, it is fun to accent the beats with your feet, but then you get tired. By the time you get tired you just don’t want to stop because you were having so much fun accenting the beats with your feet.

Did you know that if you tap your feet it is a sign of an abundance of energy? No, it’s not. I really don’t know. I do know (knowing is half the battle) that tapping improves circulation and can warm your feet. So tap away. Not tap dancing… just plain ole tapping your feet. Let’s see if you can accent the beats with your feet.

Have you ever been practicing something for so long that you got really good at it and in turn thought that you would never not do it? I know. I have and yet here I am out of practice. I mean, I haven’t been playing my drums every day like I have been known to do for the last, I don’t know… 13 or so years! I haven’t sat down and wrote an article for WTDA or LFA in a long time. It feels like a part of me died, I haven’t even ran in what seems like 2 months. What’s happening to me??

I’ll tell ya what’s going on, I have been real busy making sure my business stays busy. Yeah, I know, likely excuse, but in my defense I have hired a new trainer, appointed an assistant, took up piano lessons, hosting a Bible study, trying to buy a car and really trying to sell a couple of kids… Ok, not the last one, but you get it–real busy around here lately.

So among the things I am getting back to practicing, running is one of those. I have been back on track with my running, gearing up for a full marathon. I know, crazy, right? Marathons are like cigarettes, they take years off your life, that is, of course, if you are horrible with your nutrition. But this is neither here nor there, an entirely different subject for a blog that is not here but there.

I have started playing drums again, but not everyday because of said piano lessons. I am now even writing articles again, hence this article. It’s only a matter of time before I make them funny again, because that only gets better when you practice it or if you have been drinking or sitting around a camp fire.

So here you go, your motivation to get back to those good habits that have lead us to love you for who you are, or for what you do. Mainly for what you do. Sorta. Find your motivation in the crazy ex-military guy telling you, you look fit as you run past him trying not to make eye contact. Find motivation in your friends that tell you that you used to be good at drums. Maybe find motivation in your young new trainer as she says, “I bet you can’t do more than 20 pull ups!” Child please! Whatever it is, do it for the right reasons, do it for the joy it brings to your friends. Do it for me, do it for the children… just make sure you do it!

What is the gospel? The gospel is good news! The gospel is deep, but it is also simple, and so, I will try to put it simply! There is one God who created everything. He is the Maker of heaven and earth. He made man and woman in His image and likeness. He made us to worship. We (humanity) chose to rebel against Him, sin against Him, and disobey Him.

As a result we are separated from God. We think that we are our own god. We are all born terminally broken sinners who reject God and are at odds with Him. We are destined for death and destruction. He is the only one that is good and in His goodness He makes a way for us to be saved.

The way that God chooses to save us is that He became flesh in the person of Jesus Christ, fully God and fully man. He was born of a virgin, lived a perfect, sinless life, was crucified on the cross, in death substituting Himself for the death that is owed sinners. He willingly took the penalty upon Himself, for the sin of those who would put their trust in Him. He was perfect payment because He was perfect Himself. He was buried and on the third day He rose again by the power of God, having defeated sin and death. He ascended into heaven and is ruling and reigning and is coming again to judge the living and the dead.

What to do about the gospel? Put your trust in Him. Your hope, your faith, your confidence. “For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:13). The gospel, the good news, is the power of God to those who are being saved (1 Corinthians 1:18).