If there’s a deadline, it will almost always be late. It seems to attract lateness like a moth to the flame. So how do we beat these deadlines? I don’t know your answer, but I will give you my list.

Stamp it. Add said deadline.
Prioritize it. Put it in it’s place.
Double stamp it. Move said deadline.
Do it. Actually look at the task and give it a title.
Triple stamp it. Move deadline back a day.
Finish it. Submit project for spell checking.
Triple stamp a double stamp. You can’t triple stamp a double stamp!
Complete it. Turn in and hope for the best!

I hope this list helps you, I put it to the test at least once a week. If you find yourself not finishing the list, then you may want to write the article “what to do about procrastination”. As I always say, “when in doubt, blog it out!”

You would think that there would be a trade off here with the cute and fuzzy to the loud and messy. There isn’t. I would much rather watch them run and frolic carelessly in my neighbor’s yard–as a matter of fact, I think that would be great and a good way to waste an hour of my morning. I digress.

What I want to do with those squirrels I can’t because of the hate mail I would receive, and then there are the neighbors always talking about the “gun laws”. I will tell you you exactly what I want to do with my little furry foe. I will tell you by first telling you about my uncle, trust me it will make sense in the end.

My uncle on my dad’s side, I can’t specify because there are seven, but I will tell you he is older than my dad and cleans his gun at the dinner table during dinner. One day when I was 12 my dad asked me if I wanted to go with him up to my uncle’s place. I said, “sure”, I didn’t really remember this uncle because there are seven, but I didn’t want to hang out at home because I have sisters.

So we get there in a little city called Covington, OH, where they have 5 bars and 2 stop lights. My uncle comes out of the garage and we joined him to go up to the house when he stopped dead in his tracks. He turned to my dad and said, “do you hear that?” My dad said, “what?” “Those damn squirrels are over there by my house again.” He proceeded to tell us that they had chewed their way into his house and made a giant nest where they had babies and they peed all over the attic till it soaked though the ceiling and down the wall. My dad was surprised to see my uncle return very quickly from the garage with a 12-gauge shot gun. He pulled two shells out of his pocket and my dad said to me, “son, cover your ears”. Then all of the sudden BOOM BOOM! Two toasty squirrels fell out of the tree and landed in the neighbor’s yard. Then I heard the neighbor say, “great shot, I will put these on the grill for you”.

So there you have it, this is the reason why I want to blast anything that doesn’t talk off of my property. It was the coolest thing that I have ever seen, and that is why my dad has never taken me back there. So what am I going to do? Well, due to the graphic nature of the solution, I cannot tell you, but I will tell you that when I find a “system” that works, you will be the first to know.

Welp is a flagrant corruption of the word well. The puh sound added to the end of welp enhances the conspicuousness and finality of the meaning. I am not sure how I feel about that.

Typically, welp might be said when one feels as if there is nothing else to say regarding a matter or circumstance, or that one is resigned. However, it may also be used, as I often do, when one is about to list one’s options. An example for the former would be, “Welp, see ya later!” or “Welp, that’s all there is to say.” An example for the latter would be, “Welp, we could go out to eat, go shopping, or go jump off a cliff?” or “Welp, there is a lot of confidence instilled when you take a stand in life and live with freedom, freedom to do what is right, not to do whatever one wants or desires.”

Those who only see it as a negative thing, tend that way in life. They disparage, and thus they feel disparaged themselves. Welp, as with other variations of established words, should be said with lightheartedness, not darkheartedness. That really is the key in writing and thinking about, what to do about welping: promoting the goodwill and common understanding of the usage.

I am not, by any means, advocating that everyone take up the usage of the word welp in greater frequency. In fact, I am very comfortable with people not ever using it. It is not to be used in such a way that would be to the abandonment of its highly esteemed parent: well. Welp, that is all. May you be blessed.

Why? Ok, but why? It is not like we are talking about different species of dog or different types of bird. We are talking about a kitchen utensil. I am here to contend that the rubber, and sometimes silicone spatula, should have its own distinct name in order to differentiate it from the pancake flipper spatula.

Yes, you thought right. This is a momentous event. Once again, we are on the cusp of creating a new paradigm in kitchen organization and classification. We here at WTDA are always on the cusp. What would be the perfect name for our little, fellow scraper? Scrapula? Flapula? Rubber Scrubber? E petuti scrapa? I think we should call it a rubber paddle… or for you Spanish speakers, a paleta de goma.

Hey! Hand me the rubber paddle, I need to scrape the bowl!

Sold! Rubber paddle it is! Spread the word! So let it be written, so let it be done!

Let me give you a little back story. It seems as though Nashville, TN, is having a bit of a poo storm, a crapacolypse, a poopacain. Whatever you call it, the crap was surely hitting the fan, and the window, and the car hood. This crapfest is happening for some scientific reason that I don’t really care about. All I know is, I am the target of willful pooping and flying!!

As I venture out on my run, I don’t see a whole lot of anything going on. It’s cold and we have a long morning ahead of us. After a quick potty break, I find that I now have excrement on my pant leg. How? Where? I don’t know! It’s nut brown and all crusty. “Ok”, I said thinking this would be an isolated occurrence. Wrong! Mile 17 poop on my head… if that’s not enough it’s starting to trickle onto my forehead. Thankfully I had a paper towel in my pocket. I wiped it away with some trouble, I was trying to maintain a 9 minute mile. Soon our run was done and after some laughs about the impending poo, we went home where I quickly washed my hair.

The next morning I got up and was feeling responsible, so I swept the floor, cleaned the bathroom, and took out the trash. While I was taking out said trash, I thought, “man those birds sure are making a mess.” Just then I was hit for the third time!! Three times in 24 hours!!! That has to be a new world record?! How does that happen??

What to do about having your head shat upon is to carry an umbrella when there is an all night poop-a-thon! Especially if the birds fancy your head over all other unpooped upon targets! Crazy!

One of the reasons I like broccoli sprouts so much is because they have so much sulforaphane in them! Sure you can eat broccoli and get some sulforaphane, but you get 10-20 times as much in broccoli sprouts than you do in cooked broccoli! Woa mama. Don’t stop eating your broccoli though, you can get all sorts of other vitamins and minerals and excellent goodness that will nourish your body.

You know how we talk about blending and smoothie-ing? Like when we talked about the magic bullet and making a smoothie smoothly? Well, what I really like to do is to put broccoli sprouts in my smoothie so that I can get sulforaphane with my smoothie. Yes. I like to blend. We like to blend. Broccoli sprouts and kale, and I am buzz…ing. Like a bee, not a drunkard.

So we are recommending, in this WTDA, that you take some means to get you some sulforaphane. Get your hands on some and let us know what you think. Stuff some sprouts in sandwiches and take lots when you feel a cold coming on, and maybe, perchance, if you dare, throw some in a smoothie.

Why is it that new clothes make you feel like a new person? More confident? More secure? Ay? For certain, you want to wear your new outfit right away. Straightaway! Let’s wear the new clothes!

It is precisely these feelings that bother me with new clothes. Whenever I get new clothes, I feel like not wearing them right away just because I naturally have the tendency to want to wear them right away. I want to stick it to those feelings!

Now, in my new enlightened state, I like to break clothes in slowly. I may wear them around the house a couple of times… a week after I get them. Then, I may wear them out for running errands around town. It gives me a chance to get to know the new clothes and for them to get to know me, which, of course they are dying to do.

I find that not wearing new clothes right away takes away the power of clothes strangle hold on me. They want to make me think that I will look really really great in them, look like I have things together, and be a better person. But I know, oh I know, they most likely will make me worse of a person… I mean, how can you mess with perfection. I kid, I kid. But seriously, our trust in appearances oftentimes deceives us before it deceives anyone else.

A couple more days and I will wear my new jeans.

Am I able to tell you this because I have now found the perfect fit and ended my quest as a jobseeker? No, and therefore I think I am all the more qualified to tell you to take heart. I mean, so many people might not be able to identify with you at all and others can identify because they have been through it, but the feelings change so fast and looking back feels different than being in the midst of something like looking for work. Also, if you are able to take heart in the midst of your job seekingness (new word) then you are truly making progress in your quest to actually make something of yourself.

Am I getting sidetracked? No, let me carry on. So maybe you have an idea, a great idea, of what you would like to do and are not currently doing it and the path to doing it seems rather overgrown, hidden, and dark… not to mention the path costs money! You need a way to eat! And sleep! And pay for guides! And you need this all as you walk along this overgrown path through the forest (we are still talking about jobs).

So there you are, here we are, back at the beginning, and you are sending in resum√©s, cover letters, and scouring job boards. Not very fun, and seemingly not very effective. What is effective is prayer… and lots of it. Also, talking to people is mucho mucho more effecto. The more people you can talk to the better.

Another thing you can do, that is very effective, is targeting specific jobs and studying them and showing how it can be done better. That is, you can take an interest in specific companies and show them how much you care by putting time and effort into thinking about what they are doing and improving upon it. Then, instead of sitting at home applying for jobs, you can tell them you will work for free for two to four weeks and see how things work out. You get experience (internship for the resumé), and a possible way in with the company, and they get help.

Also, during your job seekingness (new word), make sure you remain disciplined in a schedule. Place strict time limits on all entertainment venues and distractions (limit TV, video games, social networking sites, etc). While you may have a shifted schedule due to meeting with people and job searches, do all that you can to maintain a schedule and/or a task list.

There is much to say when it comes to seeking a new job, it is almost as if whole books could be written on the subject. Regardless, my hope, our hope, is that you take heart little one, buck up buttercup, do not grow faint or weary. You will make it out alive. (Most likely).

I have always said if you think my job is easy you should do it for a day, see how you like swearing, reschedules, no-shows, excuses and useless complaining. I am in charge, so that’s a plus, right? Well kind of… you see, when you are in charge of complainers you get to hear everyones complaints all the time. Besides that, you have to be twice as committed as the person(s) you are working with. Some for you, but lots for them. You got to bring the energy like it hasn’t been brought.

I love it though, after about 3 years of doing the instructing you get real used to the types of people you see come in the door. For instance I can spot these:

- I’m here because it’s cheap
This is just fine with me. Fitness should be accessible, but don’t complain when the class gets cut because of your lack of commitment (attendance) to said cheap class. Hence the reason for raising prices.

- Looks the part boot camper
The person(s) that come in wearing matching clothes with a gatorade bottle and a towel with their initials on it. Cool, but this isn’t a fashion show. Wearing that is just going to get you made fun of. Unless you are actually going to workout — then maybe not. (Strong maybe)

- Gum chewer
Ha! I love this boot camper as this is always a chance for me to establish two things 1) my authority which I don’t need to do with gum but do it anyways. 2) nutritional minute with Terry. This starts with: spit out that gum and then tell me what’s in it. Yes, I do make them spit it into my hand!

Now now, I have had some clients that are incredibly committed and always make me smile. These clients have been great – so great we all came up with these pseudo rules for first timers:

1 ) No gum in boot camp. Ever.
It isn’t real. It didn’t come from a “gum” tree.
2 ) There is no music in boot camp.
Because, there is no music in boot camp.
3 ) There is no asking about music in boot camp.
This rule makes everyone roll their eyes as I say “there is no music in boot camp”.
4 ) No dancing in boot camp.
Unless it’s me doing the dancing, don’t worry it’s free. Call it a bonus.
5 ) No un-sanctioned water breaks.
You’re butt is mine till say it’s not or till the top of the hour. You can drink water at every 1/3
6 ) No sitting
You can rest when you’re dead.
7 ) No talking in boot camp.
This isn’t curves, and I don’t need to know about your great aunts gout.
8 ) No quitting
Nobody likes a quitter. Not even you’re mother.
9 ) If you complain I complain
When I complain it will be about you and your lack of form, determination, proper hydration, loud feet, you’re lateness, you’re matching clothes, gum and why are you stopping!
10 ) Never talk about donuts, diet coke, or your late night indulgences of any kind.
This will actually make me mad, which doesn’t happen to me very often. You are killing the vibe and encouraging the others to make compromises away from my specific instructions.
11 ) You’re welcome.
For the soreness, throwing up, for the sweat, the weight loss, motivation, for taking you’re gum, for making my class affordable and for yelling at you when you’re late.

Besides these you should know the un-spoken rules of working with a trainer. Don’t ever say “I’m actually not sore” or “I wish we could do something for my butt” Oh we will, how about 100 lunges! “I’m actually really good at (enter any workout you would like your instructor to torture yourself and everyone else with)” Then there’s the little known rule, don’t ever say, “I come in a little late to skip jumping jacks” Haha, you just made the whole class mad at you, we WILL do 5 minutes of jumping jacks for no good reason.

Happy resolution season to all and we will see you in the new year if you are lucky!

It’s important as a foot tapper to be aware of your surroundings and to not let it annoy anyone who may be around you. Use socks or soft padded shoes on carpet for quiet tapping. Choose wooden soles and wooden floors for a rousing good time tapping. I typically go with bare feet or socks on wooden floors as I find that it is a nice mixture of intensity and quietness. Also, add in some finger tapping and let the good times roll.

I have even found myself tapping away during meetings or formal gatherings. it is kind of relaxing and tiring at the same time. I mean, it is fun to accent the beats with your feet, but then you get tired. By the time you get tired you just don’t want to stop because you were having so much fun accenting the beats with your feet.

Did you know that if you tap your feet it is a sign of an abundance of energy? No, it’s not. I really don’t know. I do know (knowing is half the battle) that tapping improves circulation and can warm your feet. So tap away. Not tap dancing… just plain ole tapping your feet. Let’s see if you can accent the beats with your feet.