The other day while walking out of Whole Foods Market, I almost bit the bullet. You see, not only does the flip flop not have good traction on a wet surface, but your foot, which is exposed, is now wet and is sliding off of the flip flop. Therefore, my flop went flip while my foot went flop, which almost sent me flying feet first!

Luckily, from my days as a neighborhood meter reader, in which I had to walk through every kind of weather imaginable, I have acquired a knack for catching myself while tripping. I think the trick is to let the foot go that is snagged or slipping. Just let it do its thing. In the meantime, use your other foot to correct your balance. You may have to let yourself fall in such a way that it makes it easier for your leg and foot to catch yourself, as you are falling in a manner with which your other leg is confident it can help you recover from.

Suppose you do not have the best coordination and would not be able to catch yourself, what else, what else could you do to keep yourself safe when wearing flip flops in the rain?? Well, you are in luck! We here at WhatToDoAbout.com have developed our proprietary Flop Chains! Just think of them like tire chains that you would put on your car when driving through heavy snowfall. Flop chains allow you to walk confidently in rainy weather. The comfortable leather strap nestles the top of your foot while the chains wrap the bottom of the flip and keep you from flopping.

Also, for those that cannot afford our custom Flop Chains, we offer custom engraved WhaToDoAbout.com canes. These beauties can be yours for only $750. The great thing about having a cane is that it really makes you a couple notches cooler, just for carrying it around. It is an excellent fashion statement that will transcend the years of your life, as you will enjoy it from 25 to 85. Spread out over 60 years, the initial investment is minimal, and the cane is multipurpose. Not only does the cane help you to maintain your balance through slippery conditions, it can also help you in warding off would-be assassins! Or, if you have kids, and we all know kids need discipline, you will always have your custom cane nearby to help provide that discipline!

There you have it! What To Do About WALKING IN THE RAIN WITH FLIP FLOPS! May you never fall in the rain again!

My long term goal is to open my own dojo and teach other little fruit ninja hopefuls my secrets in slashing and splattering fruit. I will also be providing them with a nutritious fruity snack at the same time which is something their little bodies need anyways, parents will like that. Instead of having colored belts to show rank like in most martial arts, I will have fruity belts, for example the banana belt is for beginners, the berry belt is a level higher, the citrus belt is a level higher than that, followed by apples, island fruits, and then on to melons…you get the idea. I will teach my little fruit seeds (that’s what I will call my young students) how to slash to the point where they can achieve 2 fruit combos, 3 fruit combos, 4 fruit combos, and even the famous 5 fruit combo! Of course a 5 fruit combo of all melons and coconuts seems a bit far fetched but it is possible my friends. A fruit combo is achieved when more than 1 fruit is slashed and splattered with a single swipe. This takes the fruity pleasure to a whole new level of satisfaction.

Someday when I retire I will become ‘Master Nate the Fruit Sensei’. I hope to take my message of fruitiness to the masses and start a new refreshing movement of messiness. So if you’re stuck in a rut, or just frequently constipated, you’re welcome to follow me on to fruitier pastures!

To start your journey with me visit: www.fruitninja.com

You’re welcome, is the new “that’s what she said”. It goes with everything and it’s family friendly!

You want examples? Well ok then!:

“What smells like hoho’s and feet?”; “you’re welcome”.

“what happened in the toilet?”; “you’re welcome”.

“my head hurts”; “you’re welcome”.

“I need to change my pants”; “you’re welcome”.

I could go on for days and days, but you get the picture!? Once you start, you will not be able to stop, it’ll make you laugh and you will be able to sit right back and watch others not laugh and then start doing it too. In fact, I think that is equally funny, when, after you are made fun of, the very same people find themselves giving into the game. It happened with “that’s what she said”, the “what” game, and now my new obsession: you’re welcome.

Try it, and if you don’t like it, you don’t pay a thing. You’ll find it to be glorious, I hope you fully enjoy yourself and I want to hear all about it.

So go, go now and make people laugh. I charge you to press others with your humor, borrowed as it might be. Do this, for it will greatly benefit… me. You’re welcome.

You all may remember the class action law suit from a lady that claimed that she didn’t know the coffee from the Mc Donalds drive thru would be hot. It was laughable, but she won like 2 million in a settlement, so I guess the only one laughing now is the lady with the burnt crotch, or er…maybe not. Anyway this seems to be a problem for me. I like coffee and have to be up at the butt crack of dawn for my job (which I might add, I love). I think a cup o’ joe is a good way for me to kick my brain in the balls so that I can at least think in the morning.

I have a travel mug that I acquired years ago, back when I would enjoy a kirspy kreme donut every other night. This mug has been with me through thick and thin, good years and bad, happy times and not so happy times. This mug has hit the ground two or three times and lost its top, like 2 years ago. Not a problem, as I like it topless! I can still sip from it without the lid… or can I?

I can remember the first time that this cup started its downward turn. I was heading to church and just as I pulled out of the drive way I sipped the coffee and then it jumped out right onto my shirt. I was not happy because I had to back up the car and go change, not cool.

Well, I have since replaced this mug after many years of good times and now I have a new mug that is a little less dangerous. Now I can sip with freedom, I can enjoy my coffee with utter disregard for my pants…wait that sounds funny, well, you know what I mean. I get my coffee as I head out the door, but I love it so much that I try and sneak a sip then AH! I burn my tongue… stupid coffee! Now I have a patch of dead taste buds that will be out for the day. Does this stop me from drinking more, sure doesn’t. I try again, only to discover its still really hot, I just want to enjoy my coffee, let me in, let me love you!

About 15 minutes into my 20 minute trip my coffee is cooler now and I begin to sip furiously because I cannot take it in with me. So I am sitting in the parking lot or driveway trying to get it down at the last second. Finally I have an empty mug. 20 minutes later I have to pee, then every 20 minutes after that. Stupid coffee!

You see I like to enjoy my coffee so when I have to hurry there is no enjoyment, there is nothing but frustration and angst, pure angst.

Here is how I plan on resolving this issue, getting up and going straight to the kitchen and heating some water to just about a boil I will pull the water and make some wonderful french press coffee. This will make it much easier to drink, but tends to make it a little more stout. No problem though, I will now have a clean safe crotch and a mind that’s as smart as a tack, or maybe more like a butter knife. Either way I win!