1) Great White Shark
This is probably the most popular shark that people generally know or talk about. Mainly because it is a fearsome creature and also known as white death. The great white shark often reaches lengths of more than 20 feet and weighs up to 2.5 tons (5,000 lbs). It is the worlds largest known predatory fish and lives in almost all coastal waters with exception to arctic waters. There are larger amounts of great whites in the coasts off of Australia, California, and South Africa among other areas. This is not a shark I would want to be anywhere near while swimming in the water. I would probably pee in my swimming trunks.

2) Mako Shark
A mako shark is one of the coolest looking sharks in my opinion. It is a very sleek looking fish and one of the fastest sharks in the ocean. There are two types of makos, longfin and shortfin mako sharks, the longfin is the larger of the two. Mako sharks usually grow to an average of 6-10 feet in length and weigh between 400-500 lbs. Mako sharks are usually found in warmer tropical waters. Shortfin makos have been known to reach speeds of over 30 mph and there are reports of them moving at higher bursts of over 45 mph. The shark can also jump over 25 feet in the air.

3) Tiger Shark
The tiger shark has a distinct look with dark stripes similar to that of a tiger. It is the 2nd largest predatory shark after the great white. Grown tiger sharks average 11-14 feet in length and can weigh up to a ton. This shark usually hunts at night and lives on a diet that consists of fish, seals, birds, other sharks, squid, and dophins, it actually will eat almost anything though. The tiger shark is known as the “wastbasket of the sea”.

4) Whale Shark
The whale shark is the largest living fish and can grow up to 40 feet long and weigh up to 15 tons. Now that’s a whale of a shark! Get it? Whale shark, whale of a shark. I’m dumb sometimes. Anyways, it is a filter feeding fish and feeds mostly on plankton, krill, and the like. The whale shark is known to be a gentle shark and not a significant threat to humans. I think it is fascinating that this shark is kept in captivity in a few aquariums around the world right now, I would love to see that.

5) Thresher Shark
I have always thought the thresher shark was an interesting shark because of their long tails, which are about a third of their body length. They are also known as the fox shark by some. The thresher shark is usually found in the open ocean for the most part. There are several types of thresher sharks but the largest species can reach lengths of up to 20 feet. Their long tales are used as a weapon to stun prey. I remember I read about a story where a thresher shark whipped its tale out of the water and cut off a mans head, I am not sure this was a confirmed report or not however.

There are many other types of sharks to get to know, so go to the library pick up a few books and read up!

Let’s get a little interactive and take a vote (leave your comments below) who would win a fight if the actual team’s characters went up against each other.

Who do you think would win:

A Cardinal versus a Giant?

My vote: I’ll take the Giant squashing the little red birdie.

A Falcon versus a Cowboy?

My vote: I think a Falcon could give a Cowboy some fits but I’ll go with the Cowboy in this showdown.

A Bear versus a Bengal?

My vote: I think this could go either way and really depends on the size of the Bear or speed and fierceness of the Bengal, but if you have a full grown Bengal tiger foaming at the mouth, I’ll bet on its speed and bite over most Bears, although a full grown grizzly Bear would pose a good battle.

A 49er versus a Texan?

My vote: Have you ever heard the phrase “don’t mess with Texas”? Yeah, I’ll take the Texan.

A Colt versus a Ram?

My vote: Easy, the Ram.

A Patriot versus a Buccaneer?

My vote: I’m gonna go with my gut on this one, the Patriot probably has more firearms and training.

If I owned a professional football team I would choose a sweet name like the White Sharks, or Behemoths, or maybe the T-Rex’s.

Ah… Sports

It’s easy to be scared by a wahalligan. When they come through the wall and fly at you, typically, the response is to shriek in utter horror. I would advise against this. If you take the time to speak calmly to them and look at them… you will see that they are friendly furry little creatures. They just want a friend.

I would advise having some cookies and milk ready and at your disposal… wahalligans love cookies and milk. They are much like WTDATerry… they love to get some cookies in the middle of the night.

If you spend enough time with them you will eventually start to get a grasp of their silly way of communicating. Sometimes they will go “wooeee, wooeee” which expresses their delight and happiness… usually when you give them cookies they make this sound. Other times they will make a low grunt followed by a swoosh of their wings. From what I have seen this is when they come across something new or are unsure of what they should do… then they make this sound and look at each other.

Wahalligans are quickly fading and could soon become extinct if protective measures are not taken. So many people are blinded by fear that they cannot see the good in wahalligans. It’s like so many other things in life where our fear of the unknown causes us to miss out on so much good.

So go hug a wahalligan today. You’ll be glad you did!

Not only are they pests, but they are picky pests! Why is it that they seem to bite some people more than others? I have heard everything from it depends on the amount of cholesterol in the person’s skin to if the person is stressed out which creates chemicals in the body that are unattractive to mosquitoes. I have heard garlic deters them. I don’t know… I just don’t know anymore.

The truth has to be out there somewhere… but where? Where O where can I find the solution to save me from certain spearing from a ‘squito??

Somehow a mosquito got into my room the other night. I know, I know… I run a very tight ship, I am not sure how he snuck in. I have been known to wake up, stick out my arm, and BAM gotcha you little bastard!

Anyway, so I was sleeping peacefully and I am suddenly wakened by a buzzing that I hear near my ear. It is 5 AM, no joke. So I think, “I shall get up like before and bait the bastard with my arm and kill it“. So I get up and the ‘squito flys away… I see him near my desk and he moves quickly. I follow him to one of my shelves and almost get him but this fellah is smart. Then I lose him. Noooooooo!

So I resign to get back in bed thinking he will leave me alone till morning. Alas I was wrong. It was pretty cool in the house so I am sure he was coming near for some warmth – he wanted to snuggle with me… and suck my blood!

I soon hear the familiar buzzing getting close and quickly put just my sheet over my head. The sound goes away for a minute and then returns. I am thinking “how long am I gonna have to lay like this“. You see, I like to breathe fresh air when I sleep… I feel too stifled with my head under the covers.

Well, I worked it out so I could breathe nicely and be protected from the ‘squito. And I slept. When morning came… let’s just say he got his.

What should you do about mosquitoes? Please help me help you! No really, help me help you… yes, YOU.

If you are having trouble maybe you should just bathe in garlic? Not only will it keep the mosquitoes away but the women as well!!

Perhaps you are a runner and like to take a jog around the neighborhood. Perhaps you are a meter reader. Perhaps you are a stupid criminal who is actually reading this article to deal with dogs that attack you. Whatever your reason for being in the neighborhood you need to be on your guard against ferocious animals… and dogs.

Most dogs are much more frightened of you than you are of them… and so am I… I mean, you are really scary looking! So when a dog runs at you… 90% of the time they are all talk… or bark. So you should turn and face them and go towards them. If you freak out and turn your back then they are emboldened all the more in their cowardice and they may come and bite you in the back of the leg.

Sooooo… what about the 10% of dogs that will run at you and straight up attack you? Well, for those I would recommend splitting them into two groups and then deciding. For the first group you would want to ward them off with a stick or rope or tree branch or find something useful to use. Punch them in the nose and stand your ground. BUT, for the second group of dogs… that is, those dogs that are trained to kill, I would recommend climbing the nearest tree, jumping on a car, or running like the wind and calling in reinforcements.

So in closing, just remember: “A dog is a dog, it eats it‚Äôs own vomit and likes to lick itself all while sneaking drinks from the toilet.” You can take ‘em. ‚Ä®

Well, if this is you, then beware, your dog might be cross-dressing behind your back. Or maybe you have a seemingly nice dog-sitter take your little Chihuahua and dress him up like a girl and paint his nails. If this is your problem then stay tuned and we will figure out how we can get her back.

First of all, it’s just wrong to dress up a dog period, no questions asked. A dog is a dog, it eats it’s own vomit and likes to lick itself all while sneaking drinks from the toilet. There is nothing remotely the same when comparing dogs to people. That being said you can still love your dog, but they are still dogs not people, so stop dressing them up like girls or up at all!

My dog is a dude and has no problem getting cuddly with the kids and on occasion with me but we draw the line at getting him dressed in any clothes… especially womens clothes. We love our puke eating toilet drinking self cleaning dog about as much as the next guy so long as the next guy doesn’t dress his dog. If we are taking man points you are losing them by letting anyone dress your dog, it’s not much different than fruiting your beer. It just isn’t right!

So here is where you come in, the what to do about reader! I need you to give me some ideas on how to get back my puppy dressing nemesis. Any ideas must be complete and commented below, please remember I have limited resources, but I will do what it takes to give her her just reward. So if you think you have something, please by all means let me know and we will do it!

I am having a great day, as a matter of fact, I am having a great week! It’s so great that I decided to celebrate by not leaving the house. This was a good idea till the dog entered my bed at about 8 in the a.m.

My son brought the pooch down after a night of intense sleeping, after which I am sure the little dog needed to pee. My concern was confirmed when my feet started getting warmer… then moist… then really stinky. This is when the dog came up to my pillow with wet feet and then I knew what happened, the dog had peed on my feet.

My wife came in and said “awe the dog must really have to pee”, I said “no he did pee… on my feet!” This was the beginning of my day off, I got up and washed my feet and took all the blankets off the bed. Off to breakfast, where my boys ate like angry bears after a long winter hibernation, stabbing and growling as they inhaled their food.


So if you missed it, I got a dog, a little chihuahua named Tank, he is pretty awesome. He is small and doesn’t really do much, that is, unless there are flip flops lying around.

The dog loves to chew up flip flops. He chews the strap right off. Not the heel or the toe but the strap! So they are destroyed, you can’t wear them again. Which is fine, because I hate flip flops, but my wife loves them and now she is down to two pairs and she is mad. I tell her “now she has a reason to wear the other 12 pairs of shoes she owns”. This is when she hit me in the arm and told me to shut up. So I did…

The dog is great and I love it, he is easy to clean up after and I think they say he should live for about 20 years, so he will be here for a while. Not like the other pets i have had that keep dying on me, which makes them very hard to pet, well maybe not… at least they will lay still.

I have 2 problems with the new dog, 1) he licks my friggin face all the time. 2) he still poops in the house from time to time. I maintain the fact that he is easy to clean up after so it’s not a huge deal, that is until I step in it.

Did I mention that he never barks? NO! Well he never barks, that was until we snipped his berries, now he barks at everything. But there will be no little tanks running around which is cool by me. I like one dog, I don’t need two, I have two boys and I can only imagine what two dogs would destroy.

If you are looking for a pet I recommend a nice little chihuahua as they are pretty awesome! If you don’t like dogs then you are better off petting yourself at least you won’t poop on the carpet…right?

Well, other than sleeping on my computer or always cleaning the plates after dinner the cat pretty much doesn’t do anything. Even though it is really lazy, it does manage to make all kinds of noise at about 3-6 in the A.M. For that alone I could kill it! I have also found that the cat is pretty good at using the kitty litter but horrible about not making a mess with the kitty litter.

For example, the cat will stroll up to the box, sniff around for a clean spot, then slowly rake back a section of litter as she places herself ever so delicately over the hole and then sweet release. It seems that you can see the pure pleasure in the cats face as it does its business, that is until its done. This moment must be when the cat gets a burst of energy. My cat dismounts rather rapidly and then furiously covers the wetness almost like she will win a prize for making the kitty litter look like a bomb hit it. There is litter flying everywhere, then, like Napolean Dynamite after his monumental dance at the end of the movie, the cat bolts back to the living room. As if there is a litter fairy that will come and give a shiny quarter for her hardened clump of cat “joy” but she needs to be out of site to see this magical mystery character.

All the while I am thinking in expletives nearly letting out a word I think I would regret saying in front of the kids. There is now a 2 foot radius around the box of litter like a freaking bomb went off. I don’t get it, the cat is not large and the box isn’t that small, what’s the deal?

Now I know there are cat lovers out there that read this site. I know I have read your comments on What To Do About CATS from Schuylar Croom. Well, to you I say, please help me before I make kitty kabobs for dinner tonight, I like new flavors and I am sure cat would be no exception.

Save the cats from themselves by helping me figure out what to do about the kitty litter!

I kept moving and the evergreen trees continued to surround me. One thing I don’t care for about evergreen trees is that I do not like getting ticks and they always seem to hang out in the evergreens. Anyway, on this day I am traveling light with just a backpack with some water and a snack and I have my ugandan ebony knife.

I am on my way to a mountain stream that I heard is an excellent place for fishing when all of a sudden I hear multiple, heavy footsteps about 30 yards behind me. As I turn I see the form of a massive black bear. Pretty average day really.

So being the tree climber that I am, I quickly hop up the nearest tree that has some decent branches and height to it. The bear soon closes on my position and lets out a grunt as it stares up at me. It’s eyes were rather disappointed.

Now I wonder how long I am going to have to wait up in the tree. I pull out my snack, which is most likely what the bear wanted and have some water and spit some on the bear to see what he would do. He turns and lets out a ferocious roar and I am thinking “chill out dude, it’s just water mixed with saliva”.

All of a sudden I see a chimpanzee swinging from a nearby tree… and I realize that is probably what the bear is making a fuss about. Especially since the chimp threw a pinecone at the bear. “What the heck is a chimp doing near the Hulat mountains?”, I thought.

The chimp was in an opposite tree and the bear was beneath us both. The chimp eyed me glaringly. I figured he probably wanted my snack… or wanted me for a snack. I needed to think and think quick. Suddenly a line from top gun popped in my head “if you think, you’re dead”.

So I stopped thinking and threw my food down at the bear. The chimp went for the food… which is what I was hoping for and the bear took a giant swipe at the chimp which sent him reeling into a tree. The chimp was not to be denied so easily though and picked up a banana and started to grab my sandwich when the bear hit him so hard that he flipped him and then stepped on him and bit his neck. One down, one to go.

So I, having stopped thinking, jump out of the tree with my blade in one hand and landed squarely on the bears back. I bear hug the bears neck, ironic I know, as the bear stands up and I am hanging on for dear life. As the bear stands up I knew my window of opportunity was waning so I thrust the knife at the bears throat, stifling a ferocious growl that I am sure would have scared the begeebers out of me. The bear fell forward again and I flipped forward off his back.

The bear let out a gurgling sound, looked at me and then wandered away. Apparently he didn’t want my food anymore.

On the way back, a mountain lion attacked me and as it let out a ferocious roar I stabbed it in the throat. It jumped off me, apparently stunned and walked away. It tried to growl but could only let out a gurgling sound. Shoulda talked to your friend the bear before you tried that! That’s what I told him.

Then I went and killed a Philistine. Pretty average day really.

Being the crafty squirrel that you are, having already figured out how to steal all kinds of goods from people’s trash cans, you know that you must use your resources in the best possible way and protect them from predators.

There are some things to consider though. Should the nut go right home to the nest where Mrs. Squirrel and the kids are? Or should the nut be buried and saved for winter or dire circumstances? Or maybe the nut should go to Bill (your neighbor) cause you feel guilty for not letting him in on the last trash can raid.

Finally you come to a decision. The nut must be buried. It makes perfect sense! You can always dig it up if you need it for the family or in an emergency or even if you later feel like being generous to your neighbor… it will be safely stored away until then.

So off you go to bury your nut. Let’s see… hmmm… let’s bury it between the old maple and the creek.

One month later

Ah! That stupid nut. Where is my stupid nut. Where did I bury that darn thing? Did I bury it between the old oak and the fence? Or maybe I hid it behind the trash cans near the house?

You see the problem is that I always decide to bury my nuts but I can never find them when I need them! When I am faced with the decision in the future I always decide to bury them… it is like some irresistible force that leaves me helpless in the process.

I need to devise a system so that when I find a nut, I do not bury it. Maybe I can carry something in my hands that will keep me from burying my nut. Or maybe I can bring a case that I can place my nut in right away and then I can bring it home. I can then have a place in my house with all my nuts. Then I can crush my nuts, shell my nuts, or save them for later.

Well, if you’re a squirrel, take it from me… protect your nuts and don’t follow the crowd… burying your nuts is fraught with problems.