Welp is a flagrant corruption of the word well. The puh sound added to the end of welp enhances the conspicuousness and finality of the meaning. I am not sure how I feel about that.

Typically, welp might be said when one feels as if there is nothing else to say regarding a matter or circumstance, or that one is resigned. However, it may also be used, as I often do, when one is about to list one’s options. An example for the former would be, “Welp, see ya later!” or “Welp, that’s all there is to say.” An example for the latter would be, “Welp, we could go out to eat, go shopping, or go jump off a cliff?” or “Welp, there is a lot of confidence instilled when you take a stand in life and live with freedom, freedom to do what is right, not to do whatever one wants or desires.”

Those who only see it as a negative thing, tend that way in life. They disparage, and thus they feel disparaged themselves. Welp, as with other variations of established words, should be said with lightheartedness, not darkheartedness. That really is the key in writing and thinking about, what to do about welping: promoting the goodwill and common understanding of the usage.

I am not, by any means, advocating that everyone take up the usage of the word welp in greater frequency. In fact, I am very comfortable with people not ever using it. It is not to be used in such a way that would be to the abandonment of its highly esteemed parent: well. Welp, that is all. May you be blessed.

Why? Ok, but why? It is not like we are talking about different species of dog or different types of bird. We are talking about a kitchen utensil. I am here to contend that the rubber, and sometimes silicone spatula, should have its own distinct name in order to differentiate it from the pancake flipper spatula.

Yes, you thought right. This is a momentous event. Once again, we are on the cusp of creating a new paradigm in kitchen organization and classification. We here at WTDA are always on the cusp. What would be the perfect name for our little, fellow scraper? Scrapula? Flapula? Rubber Scrubber? E petuti scrapa? I think we should call it a rubber paddle… or for you Spanish speakers, a paleta de goma.

Hey! Hand me the rubber paddle, I need to scrape the bowl!

Sold! Rubber paddle it is! Spread the word! So let it be written, so let it be done!

One of the reasons I like broccoli sprouts so much is because they have so much sulforaphane in them! Sure you can eat broccoli and get some sulforaphane, but you get 10-20 times as much in broccoli sprouts than you do in cooked broccoli! Woa mama. Don’t stop eating your broccoli though, you can get all sorts of other vitamins and minerals and excellent goodness that will nourish your body.

You know how we talk about blending and smoothie-ing? Like when we talked about the magic bullet and making a smoothie smoothly? Well, what I really like to do is to put broccoli sprouts in my smoothie so that I can get sulforaphane with my smoothie. Yes. I like to blend. We like to blend. Broccoli sprouts and kale, and I am buzz…ing. Like a bee, not a drunkard.

So we are recommending, in this WTDA, that you take some means to get you some sulforaphane. Get your hands on some and let us know what you think. Stuff some sprouts in sandwiches and take lots when you feel a cold coming on, and maybe, perchance, if you dare, throw some in a smoothie.

Why is it that new clothes make you feel like a new person? More confident? More secure? Ay? For certain, you want to wear your new outfit right away. Straightaway! Let’s wear the new clothes!

It is precisely these feelings that bother me with new clothes. Whenever I get new clothes, I feel like not wearing them right away just because I naturally have the tendency to want to wear them right away. I want to stick it to those feelings!

Now, in my new enlightened state, I like to break clothes in slowly. I may wear them around the house a couple of times… a week after I get them. Then, I may wear them out for running errands around town. It gives me a chance to get to know the new clothes and for them to get to know me, which, of course they are dying to do.

I find that not wearing new clothes right away takes away the power of clothes strangle hold on me. They want to make me think that I will look really really great in them, look like I have things together, and be a better person. But I know, oh I know, they most likely will make me worse of a person… I mean, how can you mess with perfection. I kid, I kid. But seriously, our trust in appearances oftentimes deceives us before it deceives anyone else.

A couple more days and I will wear my new jeans.

Am I able to tell you this because I have now found the perfect fit and ended my quest as a jobseeker? No, and therefore I think I am all the more qualified to tell you to take heart. I mean, so many people might not be able to identify with you at all and others can identify because they have been through it, but the feelings change so fast and looking back feels different than being in the midst of something like looking for work. Also, if you are able to take heart in the midst of your job seekingness (new word) then you are truly making progress in your quest to actually make something of yourself.

Am I getting sidetracked? No, let me carry on. So maybe you have an idea, a great idea, of what you would like to do and are not currently doing it and the path to doing it seems rather overgrown, hidden, and dark… not to mention the path costs money! You need a way to eat! And sleep! And pay for guides! And you need this all as you walk along this overgrown path through the forest (we are still talking about jobs).

So there you are, here we are, back at the beginning, and you are sending in resum√©s, cover letters, and scouring job boards. Not very fun, and seemingly not very effective. What is effective is prayer… and lots of it. Also, talking to people is mucho mucho more effecto. The more people you can talk to the better.

Another thing you can do, that is very effective, is targeting specific jobs and studying them and showing how it can be done better. That is, you can take an interest in specific companies and show them how much you care by putting time and effort into thinking about what they are doing and improving upon it. Then, instead of sitting at home applying for jobs, you can tell them you will work for free for two to four weeks and see how things work out. You get experience (internship for the resumé), and a possible way in with the company, and they get help.

Also, during your job seekingness (new word), make sure you remain disciplined in a schedule. Place strict time limits on all entertainment venues and distractions (limit TV, video games, social networking sites, etc). While you may have a shifted schedule due to meeting with people and job searches, do all that you can to maintain a schedule and/or a task list.

There is much to say when it comes to seeking a new job, it is almost as if whole books could be written on the subject. Regardless, my hope, our hope, is that you take heart little one, buck up buttercup, do not grow faint or weary. You will make it out alive. (Most likely).

It’s important as a foot tapper to be aware of your surroundings and to not let it annoy anyone who may be around you. Use socks or soft padded shoes on carpet for quiet tapping. Choose wooden soles and wooden floors for a rousing good time tapping. I typically go with bare feet or socks on wooden floors as I find that it is a nice mixture of intensity and quietness. Also, add in some finger tapping and let the good times roll.

I have even found myself tapping away during meetings or formal gatherings. it is kind of relaxing and tiring at the same time. I mean, it is fun to accent the beats with your feet, but then you get tired. By the time you get tired you just don’t want to stop because you were having so much fun accenting the beats with your feet.

Did you know that if you tap your feet it is a sign of an abundance of energy? No, it’s not. I really don’t know. I do know (knowing is half the battle) that tapping improves circulation and can warm your feet. So tap away. Not tap dancing… just plain ole tapping your feet. Let’s see if you can accent the beats with your feet.

Sometimes it seems like my feet need to breathe. Do you ever have that feeling? At the same time my toes might be a little cold. Therefore my socks come half off and that way my heel can get some air while my toes can remain covered. Hey it works.

The strange thing is that my feet are rarely lukewarm. Isn’t it strange that feet can be both hot and cold? Sometimes my feet feel hot on the inside… probably because of the blood… and cold on the outside… probably because of the temperature of my room. Maybe I am imagining all of this. Maybe it is all just a deep and meaningful metaphor. Maybe you have cold feet and need to put your socks half on. Maybe you have hot feet and need to take your socks half off. Too many maybes.

Let’s be honest. Having a heater or an air conditioner is better than socks.

Metaphorically speaking… and literally speaking. Do you catch my drift? Are you speaking?

Why is the mail stack so dreaded? Because it clutters my room bringing eye-soreness to the gaze that would fall across the landscape of my desk and bed. I like my desk spic and span… despite the occasional accumulation of dust which I may or may not be lax to clean.

Perhaps a daily regimen is need!? Yes, I am exclaiming and asking in the same sentence. You see, as I excitedly go to get the mail each day, I look through it and sift out what I deem to be the most important pieces of mail that need the soonest attention. If a piece of mail does not make the cut, it gets thrown into the mail stack in my room. I then proceed to leave it sit there for a week and at the end of the week I go through the stack opening the mail and reading and discarding as necessary.

Sometimes during the weekly purge I will still separate the mail further into types of mail categories such as: bills, newsletters, updates, and solicitations. Then I would attack the stack categorically. Did you just hear that? Attack the stack. Nice. So you can see if I am attacking the stack categorically and then if something should draw me away from my attacking (like an afternoon romp in the park), at least I would have gotten through the most important part of the stack and left the least important part of the stack in stacking up.

I think one of the biggest holdups is getting newsletters from organizations that you are involved in. I want to read the newsletters, just not at the exact moment that I receive them, and thus they end up languishing in the mail stack. Bills can be the same way as I like to keep them until I pay them and I might not be paying them right away.

Perhaps the answer is to have designated compartments, containers, or cubby holes that can neatly store your mail, combined with a daily regimen/strategy with which to keep said compartments, containers, or cubby holes from overflowing. You know what I am talking about, don’t you? The people who have the sweet looking, magazine cover, stylish mail organizer and it is just overflowing, stuffed-to-the-max full of envelopes in a jumbled mess. And so the moral of that story is that more stuff will not solve all your problems.

Welp, what do you do about the mail stack? Or do you not even have problems with the mail stack? Maybe you do not receive enough mail? Are you involved in enough life-living to receive mail?

What is the gospel? The gospel is good news! The gospel is deep, but it is also simple, and so, I will try to put it simply! There is one God who created everything. He is the Maker of heaven and earth. He made man and woman in His image and likeness. He made us to worship. We (humanity) chose to rebel against Him, sin against Him, and disobey Him.

As a result we are separated from God. We think that we are our own god. We are all born terminally broken sinners who reject God and are at odds with Him. We are destined for death and destruction. He is the only one that is good and in His goodness He makes a way for us to be saved.

The way that God chooses to save us is that He became flesh in the person of Jesus Christ, fully God and fully man. He was born of a virgin, lived a perfect, sinless life, was crucified on the cross, in death substituting Himself for the death that is owed sinners. He willingly took the penalty upon Himself, for the sin of those who would put their trust in Him. He was perfect payment because He was perfect Himself. He was buried and on the third day He rose again by the power of God, having defeated sin and death. He ascended into heaven and is ruling and reigning and is coming again to judge the living and the dead.

What to do about the gospel? Put your trust in Him. Your hope, your faith, your confidence. “For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:13). The gospel, the good news, is the power of God to those who are being saved (1 Corinthians 1:18).

One of the most important things to remember, when thinking, what to do about wild ideas, is, balance. Balance and discernment are crucial for determining what to do about any sort of wild idea. Maybe, perhaps, you could throw some wisdom in there as well.

Wise wild ideas, that may not seem wise, but that really are wise, are where the action is at. That’s what my grand-pappy used to say. Not really, that is what I say.

Do we really need to clarify what a wild idea is? No, I don’t think so. I mean you know it if it is wild. Sure, ok, fine, it can be wild if it is wild to you, and, in addition, if you do not want to let it be a wild idea if it is wild for someone else, and not for you, that is perfectly fine and dandy by me. Really.

Here are a few things you can do to help clarify your wild idea:

1. Ask yourself some questions regarding your wild ideas, Questions like: Will this hurt someone else if I do it? Will this produce negative effects for years to come? Will there be ice cream involved? Will I actually get to be friends with Terry Barga, or will he be repulsed by my actions? These are just some example questions to ask, feel free to think of more on your own.

2. Tell a trusted friend about your wild idea. Now, first I must counsel you to pick your trusted friend carefully. Also, note what type of person they are. Are they given to wild ideas? Do they have any wild ideas of their own? Will they rain on your parade? Always? Once you determine those kinds of things, you can still ask your trusted friend, and, whether they love your wild idea or not, their response will help you to see your wild idea in better light, whether you take their advice or not.

3. Sleep on it. Do not rush off with your wild idea. It may just whisk you away into a whirlwind of destruction. If, however, it bears out, over several sleeping sessions, to show itself to be an excellent wild idea, with true staying power, you will feel more solidarity in your wild idea-ness. Then you can let it whisk you away into your wonderful world of whimsy.

I’ve got a wild idea…