I know exactly what I am missing. Back in the day, when I was a wee lad, some friends and I used to make regular trips to a certain donut establishment, which shall remain nameless. Let’s just say I owned a t-shirt from them, and I owned stock in their company… really.

I was enamored with the sweet glaze and yeasty aroma. I was blinded by my shortsighted taste buds! Those damn buds!

It seems, at a lot of seminars, conferences, or church events, that donuts are a common attendee. I do not mind if people want to eat donuts, I mean, they can if they want, but I don’t want to eat donuts. Should I care more than that? Should I say something? Oh, but it is always such a hassle.

Many of you know that Terry, Nate, and I are whole-foods-eaters. We eat stuff that is sane, as opposed to high fructose corn syrup. We eat real food, as opposed to artificial food, like in those flavored chips you are eating. Put down the chips!

Ok, ok, so I am all for making stuff at home with high quality ingredients. I mean, coconut oil! Yes! Or Avocado oil! Yes! Canola oil? No! Vegetable oil? No! Corn Syrup? No! Raw cane sugar? Sure.

So, you can see my dilemma with donuts at drive-by establishments. I would rather smoke a cigar. “Donut?” “No.” “Cigar?” “Sure!”

As with all of these type of events, usually there is something you can take part in so that you can be seen as a participant, you know, as part of the gang. So I suggest going for the uh… water! Go for the water. Then, maybe later, you can fill out an anonymous comment/suggestion card that suggests having some fresh cut fruit or vegetable trays at the next event!?

Why anonymous? For some reason, people are so touchy when it comes to food. They get all offended or weirded out if you eat different than them, and then they feel guilty, and then they look at you with that slant in their eyes… oh, I know the slant. I can slant with the best of them.

I know exactly what I am missing: some plaque, a fatty liver, diabetes, and a depressed immune system.