I just pulled you right in with that title, didn’t I? It’s a talent I have, kind of like fishing, I hook you in and then tell you useless things about life, but laced with humor so that you don’t realize that you have wasted an hour reading my silliness. Pure talent! You can’t teach this, I piss excellence!
But seriously, tonight I actually kicked my kid down the steps. Before you email me and call me all kinds of names, please know that he had it coming. I mean, the little brat just doesn’t know when to stop with the whining, so I thought just one time wouldn’t hurt… at least not hurt me, right? Right!
So I did it. He got lippy and the steps got slippery, down he went till the floor broke his fall. Lesson learned. It was a critical learning time for him, he now knows that he can’t get away with all that back talk. It wasn’t so bad as he was on the 5th from the top step, so it’s not like he went all the way down. It was just 11 steps and then the corner of the door post at the bottom.
No really, it was an accident, I totally would never do that and can’t believe you would think that I was capable of doing this to a defenseless child! I mean, really people? Really? Even I have morals, although loose… morals nonetheless! You people make me sick!
The boy was kicking me and I wasn’t looking and found myself donkey kicking the boy down the stair ever so gently. Somehow he managed to stay on his feet but backwards the entire way down till the last step. Actually, it was quite impressive, and after he cried for a second he realized how cool it was to moonwalk down the stairs. All was well and crisis was averted. Just another day at the Barga house!