Todays best Facebook statuses currently being used by our friends (on Facebook that is) are listed below.

(names will remain anonymous)

1.) ”Why would she have you meet her at a bar at 10 in the morning?” – (I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.)
2.) “back from the studio and the vets.” – (They allow pets in the studio?)
3.) ”When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” -S. Guitry
4.) ”is wide awake at 4am. Coffee really IS a stimulant, in case you were wondering.” – (Nice little PSA there.)
5.) ”Nice! Ian McIntosh just released his new single Obsession for free to Tweeters. Definitely worth a listen. http://tinyurl.com/y8ktlyz ” – (You weren’t kiddin.)
6.) ”In addition to the contusion on my right leg and my sore wrists from my fall last night, I decided to ram my left knee into my filing cabinet today. WHY do people even let me leave the house?!” – (Time to start wearing shin guards, knee pads, and a helmet probably wouldn’t hurt.)
7.) “I just emptied the lint trap to my dryer and it looks as if I killed a goose.”

8.) ”Cody just called me an Ass Pellet. Please excuse my language.”
9.) ”is now stressed about her two math finals starting at 8am. Both of which are over her head.” – (Would you be stressed if I place them on the floor?)
10.) ”I don’t deserve Christ’s forgiveness; good thing it doesn’t factor in!”

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