Time for good clean fun! Yes, it’s time to talk about the shower you should be taking. That is, assuming you are taking showers. As clean as this subject is, there will be some things talked about that will make you feel dirty. This will be yet another reason to shower, and shower we will!
In this tight economic time, some people feel the need to let there gas bill go till it’s shut off. Ooook, but what about your hot shower? I don’t have a problem showering in the cold water, I often get naked and stand in the rain as it comes down and cleanses this world and my “world” too. Clearly I am in the minority. I think it was all those years of landscaping in the humid Ohio heat. It was enough to make me not wait for the water to get warm, I just jumped in the shower, washed the grass and grime off of myself, and was out in 5 minutes.
Still… there are a few who cannot stand it. So it’s understandable when you hear complaints about the gas being shut off. My wife likes the bloody water so hot that she gets a “sun” burn in it, you know? Like a freaking lobster or something. What’s the big deal you ask? Well aside from the toxic effect, which I will not get into, it makes for one heck of a shower transfer. Shower transfer you ask? A shower transfer is something that two married people do when they are in a hurry to get to bed or go somewhere.
Often shower transfers are done in our house, and if you do this be a gentleman and let your wife go first. If you are smart make sure to test that water before you get in. When I get in it’s so hot that it burns my feet and I cannot even get to the nozzle to turn it down. All of this happens while my wife laughs at me… laughs until I turn it to cold. This is where I like it: 3/4 to cold, with a bite to it. It’s invigorating! Not to mention a lot less toxic.
If you are a pansy and you have no hot water, suck it up and be a man! Your boys will be back in an hour. Till then think of all the things you could get done, like finally taking out the kitty litter, emptying the trash or even doing the dishes. Am I saying that your manhood gets in the way of helping your wife? Maybe, but one thing is for sure, once she notices the things you have done for her…. Well never mind, you’ll be productive let’s just say that.
If you have no hot water, try boiling some and taking a shallow bath, this will give you time to shave your legs,¬†Pansy! Until your hot water comes back on, try a “Marine corp shower”. This involves lots of cologne. If this does not tickle your fancy, try to take a fire shower. Stand by a bonfire or a gas grill and throw water on yourself washing only the necessities!