What To Do About 5 AM

2009 September 18
by Terry Barga

I have a love hate relationship with the early morning. 5 a.m. is the face of morning. The face that gets slapped and then hugged. The face that needs to be washed and then pampered. This is my relationship with the morning, sketchy and confusing. I hate the fact that 5 o’clock comes twice in one day. But I love the fact that I can be up and done with all my work before anyone else even gets up.

Being out and about is nice at that hour, mainly because no one else is out there with me. The streets are quiet and the stop lights are flashing. Somewhere there is a bird chirping as she feeds her young some tasty worm guts. Yeah, morning is alright in my book, but it’s the labor of getting up and getting moving that’s hard. I hate the alarm clock, as a matter of fact I hate everything about it. From the way it looks at me after you set the time for 5 a.m., right down to the way it makes me wake up. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah…. over and over again.

There is nothing I hate more than the alarm clock… well maybe driving a minivan but that’s another (well written) article. I anticipate that stupid alarm so much that it makes me crazy and I cannot sleep. If I do get to sleep it makes me have dreams of waking up late and many people are angry and some of them are even carrying pitchforks and shovels.

Coffee, coffee is what gets me up in the a.m., thick hot coffee. Black and hot is how I like it and my women, it’s true. If you can see through it then it’s not dark enough. If it doesn’t make you want to take the browns to the super bowl then it’s not bold enough. I friggin love coffee, this love is what offsets the alarm clock. It works for me, what works for you? Is it a brisk walk? Is it a slap in the face? Is it the police?

I must know what gets you up early? If you have to get up early that is, if you don’t, you can have the police slap you in the face with some hot black coffee!

from → Home and Family, Lifestyle, Miscellaneous

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  • spoola
    Oh 5 am! My friend 5 days a week for almost 4 years now.

    No slap in the face or coffee needed to get me up. Just the first sound of the alarm gets me up and out of bed ... because I too can't stand hearing the wah, wah, wah over and over again or see how people can hit snooze several times so they hear the same sound like 4 times or more in the morning. Once is enough for me.

    The only way it becomes easier (as it did for me) is to be disciplined in going to bed early the night before and do it every day for a year or so. Then it will become routine and not so hard anymore. If you can't, then maybe a bucket of cold water thrown on you or a blow horn might work.
  • the blow horn would just give me a heart attack... then I wouldn't be getting up at 5am anymore... I would be dead!
  • spoola
    Well then you wouldn't need to worry about getting up at 5 am anymore ... if you ever had to in the future.
  • But a blow horn could probably wake the dead.
  • Dually noted!
  • I haven't seen 5am in a while.

    I'm on campus everyday by 9am, and go to 730am mass on sundays.............but 5am, who are you?
  • 5Am is a dirty whore! that's who!
  • Maybe I can get a part-time job being a morning face slapper?!

    People can hire me to show up at their house in the early morning hours and give them a nice smacker every 5 minutes until they wake up.
  • great idea... we are all about personal in your face service!
  • I have to say that I almost feel convicted about the early morning... like I need to be disciplined enough to get up early and get started with my day early. Buuuuut I just prefer getting up in the 8 o'clock hour. I like 11am-7pm... those are my glory hours.

    If I do have to get up early I think I would need to get some sort of jolt... coffee, tea, a quick workout or somethin... not a slap in the face... well... I wouldn't mind slapping someone else in the face, that would be great!
  • Don't doubt the power of a good face slap! It work in many different situations.
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