“Jimmy’s got the whooping cough, And Timmy’s got the measles. That’s the way the story goes, Pop! goes the weasel.”

That’s what I hear around Nashville… well at least the melody to the song. Yes it is coming from a once classic fixation of American society: the ice cream truck. I have to be honest though… they kind of creep me out.

First you have the the old beat up orange trucks that don’t look very clean and they have a creepy vibe. Second they play creepy music like “the entertainer” and “pop goes the weasel”. Now those songs aren’t necessarily creepy in and of themselves but when they are coming from a dirty old ice cream truck and the speakers sound absolutely awful such that the notes are eerily distorted… then it sounds like a serial killer is about to offer you ice cream.

So I have some suggestions for you and what to do about the ice cream truck. First off… run. Run damn it and don’t look back. Second, if you are brave, evaluate the truck and the operator of the truck carefully. If they seem ok then ask to read some of the ingredients on the ice cream… then RUN… run damn it and don’t look back. Third, if you are ambitious, find out who is running this operation and make him/her an offer they can’t refuse. Explain to them that the trucks need to be very clean and nice and pretty. Also, explain to them that they should invest in some better speaker systems and music. Also, explain to them that they should sell premium ice cream that has whole food ingredients that will be better for their clientele (little kids).

I have a dream! Just think of all the wonderful goodness that could be rolling around Nashville! The ice cream would flow like wine and children would instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano! Then… instead of a pedophile handing you a peanut butter pop, you could have a nice sweet grandpa feeding you frozen rays of sunshine! I have a dream…