I like to eat. I will eat a lot of things but never a credit card. Who does that? A stupid machine that’s who, a dirty bastard of a machine. If someone has actually decided to eat your ATM (or credit or debit) card for lunch then this article may not be much help to you. BUT if they decided to eat your credit card for dinner on the other hand, then you’re in luck! Seriously though, if a machine has eaten your credit or debit card (for any meal) then you should listen up.


The most common reason for your card being eaten is because a false pin number was entered multiple times leading to the machine getting hungry and eating your card. If you see your friend enter the wrong pin number several times then you should yell at the top of your lungs “STOP!!!!” to save your friend from feeding the machine. Often times friends (usually girls) are afraid to yell because it’s either not in their nature to do so or because they secretly would like to see your card get eaten so that they can then say “I told you so” although they did not speak loud enough for you to fully hear their warning. I am speaking from personal experience here.

A few other things you can do to avoid having your card eaten by the machine include:

1) get your pin number tattooed on your foot (do not get it on your forehead, hand, or buttocks) so you won’t forget it, or so you can refer to it if need be.
2) make your pin number the last 4 digits of your drivers license number since you will most likely always have it on hand to refer to.

A few things that will not prevent the machine from eating your card include: 1) dipping your credit card in tabasco sauce before putting it in the ATM machine. 2) feeding it other cards before your card as ATM machines are always hungry and never get full.

I have one final warning or tip for you, if you happen to eat your own credit card it will not come out of your slot very easily.