What To Do About UNDRINKABLY HOT COFFEE

2009 April 1
by Terry Barga

I have talked to you all about coffee before and the fact that I enjoy it is obvious. What make me very mad about getting coffee anywhere else than from my own house is the fact that it is BLOODY HOT!

Warm coffee, great. Cold coffee, good. Undrinkably hot coffee, well it makes me outright mad. I mean there is nothing like paying $2.50 for a really good cup o’ joe and then not be able to drink it for about 45 minutes. It burns me up… er, well you get it right?

I want to drink my coffee and not use it to strip paint or boil noodles, just a sip and then AhAhAh! I burn my tongue, this makes me curse and want to beat the sweater wearing hippie who served me this boiling lava. I mean I don’t want to kill my throat with this molten rock, I want to enjoy it. 


Why do we need to make it so hot? It doesn’t need to be sterile does it? I mean can we just use filtered water? What is the deal with hot coffee?

I had some that was so hot that I swore the cardboard cup was melting, I could smell the cup and it stank!  Later, when I was finally able to drink it, it tasted like cardboard. If it’s too hot to hold it in your hand then you shouldn’t put it in your mouth. 

So I honestly don’t have an idea for what to do about hot coffee, this is where you come in. I need you to help me, I need suggestions of coffee shops that don’t boil their coffee. Or maybe a good reason why the coffee is so hot. Really I will listen I just need answers!

from → Food, Lifestyle, Miscellaneous

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  • Bass
    Since you don't like hot coffee, all I can say is "Don't EVER get coffee at the Home Depot convenience store. Their coffee is so hot that even the cardboard sleeve that you put around the cup doesn't keep your hand from burning."
  • just chug the entire cup and take it like a man. who cares if your vocal chords may be permanently damaged. you can buy new vocal chords after you sue their asses for millions. but make sure that the cup doesn't have that dang warning-- CAUTION: THE BEVERAGE YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY IS EXTREMELY HOT. if those words are there, you have no case. and then you'd just be left with a burned up throat.

    you COULD try a little creamer. there's a thought.
  • creamer... huh... sheer genius, sheer genius... these ladies have some amazing ideas!
  • robyn
    most places that you purchase coffee at are equipt with ice. sooooo when you get really hot coffe ask them to put an ice cube in it so it cools faster.
  • sheer genius... sheer genius!
  • stevenleopold
    Well this is like your third try to find an answer to hot coffee. I think you will just have to deal with it.
  • Or maybe you should give me some answers! Or make me some coffee, wait thats a bad idea you are probably still mad about your car being hit or you manhood being violated.
  • Dude I know! What's the deal. Prolly cause places will get people complaining about lukewarm coffee.

    Seriously though, like 500,000 die from esophageal cancer every year. Both coffee and tea that are scalding can contribute if you continually burn your throat. Let it cool, let it cool... just be cool
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