You all may remember the class action law suit from a lady that claimed that she didn’t know the coffee from the Mc Donalds drive thru would be hot. It was laughable, but she won like 2 million in a settlement, so I guess the only one laughing now is the lady with the burnt crotch, or er…maybe not. Anyway this seems to be a problem for me. I like coffee and have to be up at the butt crack of dawn for my job (which I might add, I love). I think a cup o’ joe is a good way for me to kick my brain in the balls so that I can at least think in the morning.
I have a travel mug that I acquired years ago, back when I would enjoy a kirspy kreme donut every other night. This mug has been with me through thick and thin, good years and bad, happy times and not so happy times. This mug has hit the ground two or three times and lost its top, like 2 years ago. Not a problem, as I like it topless! I can still sip from it without the lid… or can I?
I can remember the first time that this cup started its downward turn. I was heading to church and just as I pulled out of the drive way I sipped the coffee and then it jumped out right onto my shirt. I was not happy because I had to back up the car and go change, not cool.
Well, I have since replaced this mug after many years of good times and now I have a new mug that is a little less dangerous. Now I can sip with freedom, I can enjoy my coffee with utter disregard for my pants…wait that sounds funny, well, you know what I mean. I get my coffee as I head out the door, but I love it so much that I try and sneak a sip then AH! I burn my tongue… stupid coffee! Now I have a patch of dead taste buds that will be out for the day. Does this stop me from drinking more, sure doesn’t. I try again, only to discover its still really hot, I just want to enjoy my coffee, let me in, let me love you!
About 15 minutes into my 20 minute trip my coffee is cooler now and I begin to sip furiously because I cannot take it in with me. So I am sitting in the parking lot or driveway trying to get it down at the last second. Finally I have an empty mug. 20 minutes later I have to pee, then every 20 minutes after that. Stupid coffee!
You see I like to enjoy my coffee so when I have to hurry there is no enjoyment, there is nothing but frustration and angst, pure angst.
Here is how I plan on resolving this issue, getting up and going straight to the kitchen and heating some water to just about a boil I will pull the water and make some wonderful french press coffee. This will make it much easier to drink, but tends to make it a little more stout. No problem though, I will now have a clean safe crotch and a mind that’s as smart as a tack, or maybe more like a butter knife. Either way I win!