So I finally did it, I fixed or re-fixed the old toilet seat that has given me so much “fun” over the last year. I thought it would be best, with the in-laws coming over and all, even though I have gotten quite good at balancing on it. My broken toilet seat was like a skateboard for my butt, sliding and falling off the rim. Unfortunately the only trick was staying on the stupid thing!
I went to the Home Depot, or as they say it down here, homdepo’ and found me a peach of a seat, all decked out in chrome. I get it home and rip off the old seat (literally) and then I open the new toilet seat box. Much to my dismay, there was nothing but a top and bottom, no hardware! It seems as though someone thought it would be a good idea to steal everything off of the seat and return it as if it were new. So let that be the first lesson to you: check that your seat is complete! I was very angry because I had spent about 2 hours in the store that day and just got home after a long day of training and then tiling my floor. So at this point I was tired and sore without a place to sit my ass when it was time for the pooh.
I was aggravated to say the least, but I waited till the next day to return it which turned out to be a good idea. It seems as though they have designed the store for quick easy check out but to return items you have 1 guy with 9 people in line. Did I mention that the return lane is right next to the exit? So you have 20 degree air blowing in on your neck while the guy in the front of the line is trying to argue that he only used his blower twice when it was probably used more like 10 times judging soley by the marks on the blower motor, just a guess.
After a half an hour I finally have my turn and lay the seat on the counter and tell them they have been had by some loser trying to cheat the system… they concur. I was then instructed to go and get a new seat and then return and they would take care of it. That is what I did, only to find 5 more people in a line that was empty when I left it, bloody ‘ell!
Back in line I go, for only about 10 minutes this time, to get to a totally different cashier to whom I had to explain the whole thing over again. She then looked at the old seat, again, which was clear on the other side of the counter. But when she returned she said “your good” and sent me on my way without any paper work to which I say “score!!”
Now I have a new seat that is well… just dandy! It fits like a glove (a cold porcelain glove) and makes me happy every time I need to take a pooh. And it only took me 2.75 hours out of my life…
It always come back to pooh, doesn’t it?