Stupid trash cans! The only day of the week I hate is trash day, why? Because I always forget, and when I forget I end up having too much trash and then dirty racoons in my trash cans stringing my crap all over the neighborhood… leaving me picking up my trash and having to talk to my neighbors, not cool. If I do happen to make it to the curb with my trash, I have to rinse out my cans with water and that is a smelly job and frankly, I hate it.

What’s even worse? I have a recycling container that has to go out every 3rd thursday of the month or on the second full moon of the quarter. Truth be known I don’t really remember and the recycling container has been full for months now.

I guess I could leave my cans down at the curb like my neighbors, but then I really think that looks tacky and when the wind blows just right I can smell the rotten trash from their stupid cans.

I guess maybe I will start an excel spreadsheet detailing the trash mans schedule, unless there is a better idea that you can help me with. Please I need all I can get. Help me, help me.

On another note, I have often wondered about being a trash man, I think it would be interesting. I think you would be able to tell a lot from somebody’s trash. At a quick glance I wonder what I look like to the trash man. Do I eat too much? Have bad hygiene? Do I forget to take my trash to the curb week after week? Can he tell that I have kids? Does he know that my food is organic? Well, I doubt the last one because that is silly and he probably doesn’t have time to read the labels.

To my trash man, thanks, because I never see you in person, my hats off to you. Thanks for doing what stinks, but could you make a little less noise in the morning? I mean what I wouldn’t give for a trash truck with an afternoon schedule for once in my life.