What To Do About MY WIFE’S LONG HAIR
Hey there, how are you? (rhetorical) Well, I am glad to hear it. I have an issue to take up with you. If you missed it, it’s at the top of the page, really, i don’t want to type it again. So I have written a lot about my wife and I must say I do love her and she is beautiful and one hell of a cook! But all of that aside, this woman’s hair is everywhere and when I say everywhere I mean everywhere. Now, I must tell you that although her hair is slowly overtaking the house like a spider web from a black widow as she (the spider) is preparing to have the dinner of a lifetime (me), her hair is lengthy and hot and I like it… alot.
With this long, flowing, beautiful mane comes much responsibility… much like a super power. Like fire that shoots out of your fingertips. You can’t go around pointing at people, well, the same goes for all of this hair. You just can’t go around flinging it everywhere like some sort of helicopter out of control looking for a safe landing.
To put it into perspective for you, here is a list of places her hair has been found:
- The tub drain
- My pillow
- The ceiling fan (don’t ask)
- My belly button (again don’t ask)
- My food
- My underpants
- In the car while I am driving, wrapping around my throat
- In my beard
- My tooth brush
- Nuts
- In the dryer vent
Really, I could go on and on, you don’t understand what it’s like. I swear there is something else going on like the previously stated spider web, which would explain why she is always so quiet and never refers to my articles poking fun at her. She is waiting and spinning a web for me to become trapped in, then she is going to eat my insides!
I must be going crazy! So what to do about it, run! And don’t look back… ever!
