What To Do About MY WIFE’S LONG HAIR

wife's long hairHey there, how are you? (rhetorical) Well, I am glad to hear it. I have an issue to take up with you. If you missed it, it’s at the top of the page, really, i don’t want to type it again. So I have written a lot about my wife and I must say I do love her and she is beautiful and one hell of a cook! But all of that aside, this woman’s hair is everywhere and when I say everywhere I mean everywhere. Now, I must tell you that although her hair is slowly overtaking the house like a spider web from a black widow as she (the spider) is preparing to have the dinner of a lifetime (me), her hair is lengthy and hot and I like it… alot.

With this long, flowing, beautiful mane comes much responsibility… much like a super power. Like fire that shoots out of your fingertips. You can’t go around pointing at people, well, the same goes for all of this hair. You just can’t go around flinging it everywhere like some sort of helicopter out of control looking for a safe landing.


To put it into perspective for you, here is a list of places her hair has been found:

– The tub drain

– My pillow

РThe ceiling fan (don’t ask)

РMy belly button (again don’t ask)

– My food

– My underpants

– In the car while I am driving, wrapping around my throat

– In my beard

– My tooth brush

– Nuts

– In the dryer vent

Really, I could go on and on, you don’t understand what it’s like. I swear there is something else going on like the previously stated spider web, which would explain why she is always so quiet and never refers to my articles poking fun at her. She is waiting and spinning a web for me to become trapped in, then she is going to eat my insides!

I must be going crazy! So what to do about it, run! And don’t look back… ever!

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  • combatchuck

    When it starts getting in the food, floor mats of the car, and my personal favorite, the wall of the shower, it's over!!! Finished!!! Done Deal !!! It's time for the Sinead O'Conner look. Honestly Terry, the ceiling fan, belly button and underwear

  • stevenleopold

    You should cut it while she is sleeping. She will take it as a thoughtful gesture. And seriously you are spinning your own web, one day she will let you know how she really feels about these articles and I want to be as far away as possible.

  • http://www.myspace.com/charityspencer Charity Spencer

    OK, so I can totally relate seeing as I had hair as long as your wifes for quite some time. It scared ME and it was MY hair! I cut it up to my shoulders a month ago now and am STILL finding the long hairs everywhere I turn….never in my belly button, though…..you sure that wasn't yours?

  • Rob

    My wife's hair is twice as long as yours. YOU should be feeling sorry for ME! Heh heh!

  • http://www.whattodoabout.com wtdaterry

    Pretty sure it was LONG! I have no hair.

  • alyssa

    oh yes the spiderweb. shes part of our cult of spider-women that eat men for breakfast. be careful…unless u like that kinda thing. ; )

  • akash

    hi i m akash from india

    my girlfriend have knee length hair
    and i have seen my models hair knee length

    indian ladies have very longhair

  • http://www.whattodoabout.com wtdaTim

    sheesh

  • woman hair lover

    dont cut her hair i have a solution why dont go for french plait or any other dreadlock style . in india there so many women who wear their hair long and style their hair in braids buns. and their hair longer than your wife . you can take some hairstyling lesson from hairdresser . in my opinion woman look good in long hair .

  • http://www.whattodoabout.com wtdaTim

    Yes Terry… why don't you try putting her hair in a french plait.

  • Shelbyville

    You men have far too many demands. You like long hair but then it bothers you when it gets everywhere. Ugh.

  • http://www.whattodoabout.com wtdaTim

    Yes Terry… why don't you try putting her hair in a french plait.

  • Shelbyville

    You men have far too many demands. You like long hair but then it bothers you when it gets everywhere. Ugh.