I‚Äôve made my share of salads in the past, usually just when I am making a quick dinner on my own or with my brother at home. It‚Äôs fairly easy to make a good salad but I am going to let you know what to do about making a bad salad. It‚Äôs really easy and hopefully this will help you remember what not to do.
1) Use iceberg lettuce and whatever you do, Do NOT use Romaine, Red-Leaf, or Green-Leaf lettuces in your salad. Do NOT use Arugula or some fresh Dandelion greens in the salad, just play it safe and use conventional iceberg lettuce (unwashed).
2) I would then go buy the cheapest blue cheese or ranch dressing that you can find. Make sure to purchase a plastic bottle of dressing that is past the expiration date too for extra flavor. Another thing to look for would be the bottle of dressing that has the highest number of ingredients in it, it would be good if it contained a few things that you had no idea what they actually were. It‚Äôs good to try new things. Do NOT go buy unrefined olive oil imported from southern Italy and do NOT use a mix of balsamic, apple cider, or red wine vinegar in your salad.
3) Be sure to add a load of Bacos (chopped bacon bits) to the salad.
4) Add a load of salt (but NOT sea salt) and a pinch of refined sugar.
5) I would recommend NOT putting any fresh veggies in the salad, definitely no tomatoes, cucumbers, or sprouts of any kind.
6) Also, do NOT put any Parmigiano-Reggiano on your salad, that would make it good.
7) Maybe add some sweetened dried fruits to the salad, they should have some sort of preservative like sulfur dioxide or potassium sorbate and lots of sugar in them as well, yummy!
Be sure to bookmark this web page so that you can refer to it when you want to make the worst salad ever.