So you think you are ready to workout? Get buff? Pump some iron? Well then, here are some things you need to know from me, the “resident personal trainer”.

First thing is to make sure you dress properly… like wearing light breathable clothing. If you are over 200 lbs. then no spandex. Well let’s just be safe and say no spandex for anybody. It’s a dangerous material and if in the wrong hands can cause injury and it may be fatal.

You will want to stretch out, and for most of us, that means lots of acting because we are not that flexible. Not because we haven’t tried but, yeah, it’s because we haven’t tried. So now we will try and we will try with vigor and determination.

Ok. Now that you’re properly stretched you can start your workout. Now you will want to warm up the rest of your body by doing some jumping jacks or taking a five minute run or walk… whatever causes less embarrassment for you.

Now we are really ready to embark on a physical fitness adventure. You can do anything you want here it only depends on your goals. Do you want to lose weight or get huge? So feel free to do whatever fits your goals but remember to keep proper form. Form in working out is everything… next to breathing of course which as you should know is very important. So, no butt in the air with your pushups, no cheesy ab rollers from infomercials, just balls to the walls workout with utter disregard for fat and pain.

Get angry and destroy your muscle, make them beg you for mercy, then say to them “no, give me ten more”. Let them know that they make you sick and that if it weren’t for you they would have fallen clean off your body years ago. Do it!

Last thing, don’t let anyone tell that you need to workout; this will give the feeling of guilt that you don’t need. You must make a decision for yourself, because it is the only way you will have long lasting success.

So that’s it. That is all the inspiration I have for you, so get out there and make your muscles pay for all those years of crappy food and sedentary life! Oh yeah, you really need to workout.

Do it… do it… do it!