I am writing this article for two reasons: 1) the other guys didn’t want it, 2) I feel obligated, like a messenger from the north sent to share the wisdom of the weather with the south.

I feel like I should have a cape and a scroll with wise proverbs and instructions from the good people of the north… hmm… maybe a nice velvet robe too… I don’t know, maybe not. Or, should I have a club (blunt object) for each piece of advice I share? One that says, “plow your streets, then apply salt”, number 2 would say, “don’t sled on the street, especially when there are brick mailboxes around you”, 3 would say, “never use a shovel to clear snow off your lexus, or any other car for that matter”.

I just want to provide some basic tricks of the trade, from the good people that brought you deep dish pizza, sky line chili, and car manufacturing. How to survive the snow would be what I would call it… NO, Wait! Surviving snow for dummies! is even better.

We recently received about 5-6 inches of snow, depending on who you ask. This snow, or Armageddon as it’s known here, came on us after two failed attempts at getting the weather prediction right in the first place. Once they had finally figured out if the snow was coming (2 hours before the first flake) ALL the schools were closed and most businesses decide to close early. As if this weren’t enough, the impending snow came and fell as finally forecasted, the rest of the city “clocked out” as it were.

This is where the rest of the madness started, you know? People slipping and sliding like they had never driven on snow before…Oh yeah they haven’t! I heard about maybe 50 sledding accidents, numerous (too many to count) car accidents, two of the 13 snow plow/salt trucks tipped over and let’s not forget the dude I saw clearing his Lexus off with a metal scoop shovel… FAIL!

I know you southerners are all laid back and stuff, but really? It takes just a little common sense when navigating a sled. If you are speeding toward a large blunt object, lean to the left or bail out altogether. If you have too much snow on your car and cannot see out of the windshield and you don’t have an ice scrapper, please use a broom, NOT a shovel! Please drop your snow blade on the ground if you drive a snow plow, that IS why they call it a snow plow. You will then find the very bottom layer of ice and then you can apply the melting agent. Secondly, if you are driving a snow plow, please feel free to check up on said area after dark and take care of the problem areas.

Just a little friendly advice from up north, you know? The people that get more than one snow a year…..You’re welcome!

Being the type of person who does what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it, is a good type of person to be. It says that you are reliable and dependable. I like these type of people because I like reliable and dependable people. It seems for most people, it is not easy to do both… that is, to do what they say they are going to do, and do it when they say they are going to do it. They may do what they say they are going to do, but have problems doing it when they say they are going to do it. Or, they may do something when they said they were going to do it, but it may be completely different than what they said they were going to do in the first place.

Of course, there needs to be grace and flexibility and understanding as plans and people and circumstances change… of course. For this reason (and there are others), communication becomes very important. So, the person who said they were going to do something at a certain time, should communicate if circumstances change and they are not able to do what they said they were going to do at the time they said they were going to do it. If the person successfully communicates, then it is much easier to appreciate them as a person who still does what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it. If a person does not communicate, then everyone continues to view said person as someone who does not do what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it.

Being a person who does what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it raises the probability that other people will want to do business with you. I am not just talking about business business, but also non-business business. So, they will want to make transactions with you whether they are business transactions or non-business transactions. Why? Because you are reliable and dependable, of course. There are other things, of course, that raise your business transaction favorability ratio. Things like emotional stability and sometimes availability… although there are plenty of people who are not available and still are great people to do transactions with because when they are available they do what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it.

I would heartily recommend taking steps to improve your transaction favorability ratio by being someone who does what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it. Start by saying you are going to do something at a certain time and then, with all of your might, make sure you do it when you said you would do it. Baby steps.

You can see how complex your transaction favorability ratio can be.

“So Kramer, what are you going to do?”
“Do? Do? Hey, I’m doing what I do. You know, I’ve always done what I do. I’m doing what I do, way I’ve always done and the way I’ll always do it.”

This is a momentous occasion!! It is the first time in 2010 that I have written a Top 10 Facebook Statuses post! Alice In Chains are playing on the speakers as I type this, you should go play them on your stereo or iTunes player, turn ‘Man in the Box’ up real loud and then come back and finish reading this.

Todays best Facebook statuses currently being used by our friends (on Facebook that is) are listed below.

(names will remain anonymous)

1.) “ordered a couch – only two more couchless weeks!” – (Need some potatoes for that couch? Just let me know!)
2.) “Everyone go check out Chad Johnson’s FB page and leave Val Kilmer a message.”
3.) “I need help Facebook. How can I tell my mother I can not accept her friend request ??” – (You could call her, text her, instant message her, email her, or go the old fashioned route and write her a letter. I’d probably take out a billboard though.)
4.) “Never buy a car you can’t push.” – (And never push a car (down an icy hill) that you can’t buy (after it rams into a telephone pole)).
5.) “I’m takin the day off to do all kinds of little things to celebrate HIM!” – (I agree, Christmas and Easter are not enough!)
6.) “Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to the medical school, I’m supposed to do be doing a lecture in about 20 minutes and my driver’s a bit lost.”

7.) “craigslist is buttacakes. so is selling stuff.” – (This post got me wondering what a buttacake was, now I know.)
8.) “shot a groundhog this evening…good riddance.” – (I hope you don’t run into this guy next time.)
9.) “Getting my whattodoabout.com on write now!” – (Write on, write on!)
10.) “I’m bringin’ the peanut butter. You bring the bread. …The jam? Oh, there will be plenty of that.”

Become a fan of WhatToDoAbout.com on Facebook right here!

I recently found myself carless and shopping like there was no tomorrow. I had set a goal to make enough cash to buy my wife a car after the first of the year. To my surprise, I found myself looking for a car after the mechanic told me that my car would look good at the buttom of a lake… A boat anchor!! I was bummed, I love my 14 year-old Mercedes Benz. The list of repairs was exstensive and expensive so I took their advice and drove it into the lake.

So now I need a car, instead of buying my wife some wheels, we have to find me a car. I jumped right onto the trusted online shopping mall I like to call craigslist. There’s only one problem, this mall looks more like a flea market, but with convicts from other nationalities.

The nationals want you to send them money and they will ship you a car! Ship me a car!? Who does that!? Not this guy, I am not going to send you a check to help you out for something I have never seen or driven. Shhhyeahh! Right!!

These scammers used to do this with bank accounts and then moved up to telling you that you have an inheritance coming from some dude you don’t know. Now they want to ship cars to us for our inspection and pay them before they ship these “cars”. Craziness!

What makes this even funnier is that the website has at the top of the page “anything involving car shipping is a scam“. Not ‘maybe a scam‘ or ‘could be a scam‘ but, it is a scam!

Do people fall for this?

The other thing is, the people that think they are selling a 12 year-old block of gold on wheels and want top dollar for it. This is annoying because it never looks as good to us buyers as it does to the seller. “Oh, that will buff out“, “the miles are all highway miles” or my favorite “this car used to be my grandmothers“. There is too much to say here, but I will tell you that grandmas can spin donuts with the best of them…

So remember, when shopping on craigslist, patience, patience is the key to actually finding a great deal. When you do find that gem of a car, make sure that it was taken care of. If you cannot trust the seller, then bolt!… it wasn’t meant to be. But, if the seller shakes your hand with a tear in his eye, you can rest at ease, that man loved his car!

This thing called time is a dangerous thing to track and kill, but if you can do it, you may be able to catch up on some sleep. Killing time is something that you need practice at. Start by reading the back of the toilet cleaner bottle, then move on to reading a magazine, then, before you know it, you will be killing time on the Internet and maybe even on facebook.

You must not submit to boredom, no no! Keep your head on straight and pay attention or you will lose an eye. Take your time when killing time or time will pick you up by your shirt collar, straddle your limp body and then beat you about the head and neck.

Careful, and test your limits. You can be caught off guard if you start killing time by pushing a broom or staring out the window. If you read anything, read this! Never let time get the upper hand, you don’t want time killing you.

Stop being bored and at the very least spend more time reading. Read the Bible. Yes, I am serious. The Bible is never boring. Don’t waste your time on nothing. You know what they say… be killing time or time will be killing you… they do say that, don’t they? Who is they?

Many a good man has fallen trying to kill time, don’t be one of them.

When I was a young kid I loved sharks, I would often to go the library and pick up a whole stack of books about sharks which I would spend hours reading and looking at the photos. I also loved when there was a National Geographic special on tv that featured sharks. Below are a few different types of sharks you should know about.

1) Great White Shark
This is probably the most popular shark that people generally know or talk about. Mainly because it is a fearsome creature and also known as white death. The great white shark often reaches lengths of more than 20 feet and weighs up to 2.5 tons (5,000 lbs). It is the worlds largest known predatory fish and lives in almost all coastal waters with exception to arctic waters. There are larger amounts of great whites in the coasts off of Australia, California, and South Africa among other areas. This is not a shark I would want to be anywhere near while swimming in the water. I would probably pee in my swimming trunks.

2) Mako Shark
A mako shark is one of the coolest looking sharks in my opinion. It is a very sleek looking fish and one of the fastest sharks in the ocean. There are two types of makos, longfin and shortfin mako sharks, the longfin is the larger of the two. Mako sharks usually grow to an average of 6-10 feet in length and weigh between 400-500 lbs. Mako sharks are usually found in warmer tropical waters. Shortfin makos have been known to reach speeds of over 30 mph and there are reports of them moving at higher bursts of over 45 mph. The shark can also jump over 25 feet in the air.

3) Tiger Shark
The tiger shark has a distinct look with dark stripes similar to that of a tiger. It is the 2nd largest predatory shark after the great white. Grown tiger sharks average 11-14 feet in length and can weigh up to a ton. This shark usually hunts at night and lives on a diet that consists of fish, seals, birds, other sharks, squid, and dophins, it actually will eat almost anything though. The tiger shark is known as the “wastbasket of the sea”.

4) Whale Shark
The whale shark is the largest living fish and can grow up to 40 feet long and weigh up to 15 tons. Now that’s a whale of a shark! Get it? Whale shark, whale of a shark. I’m dumb sometimes. Anyways, it is a filter feeding fish and feeds mostly on plankton, krill, and the like. The whale shark is known to be a gentle shark and not a significant threat to humans. I think it is fascinating that this shark is kept in captivity in a few aquariums around the world right now, I would love to see that.

5) Thresher Shark
I have always thought the thresher shark was an interesting shark because of their long tails, which are about a third of their body length. They are also known as the fox shark by some. The thresher shark is usually found in the open ocean for the most part. There are several types of thresher sharks but the largest species can reach lengths of up to 20 feet. Their long tales are used as a weapon to stun prey. I remember I read about a story where a thresher shark whipped its tale out of the water and cut off a mans head, I am not sure this was a confirmed report or not however.

There are many other types of sharks to get to know, so go to the library pick up a few books and read up!

I have wanted a watch for a while now, but I don’t really know why. I mean, I have a cell phone and ever since cell phones came out there hasn’t been much need for a watch. The cell phone was soon revolutionized by the iphone and that pretty much made life about 5x’s better. I mean, who really wears watches anyway? Not me… at least not until now.

I wanted a watch primarily because I am a fitness instructor and I needed to see my stop watch, plus I wanted to see my heart rate and I also didn’t want to have to use my bare hand with my iphone. Now when it’s cold I can just flip my wrist and check it out. I don’t have to take my hand out of my gloves for any reason at all, not even to challenge a knight to a dual.

My watch is handy, but it is also cumbersome. It gets snagged on things all the time and the buttons get pushed. This trouble is enough to make me not want it anymore, that and the fact that I can’t stop looking at the watch. Now that I have it I want to know what time it is all the time! It can drive a man crazy, crazy crazy, not just crazy. Who needs to look at their watch that many times?

I have thought about just tattooing a watch on my arm and it would read 5 o’clock. So that I would feel like it’s always the end of the day, or something like that. I know it would never work so I won’t do it, besides that, then I would have to use the iphone for the stop watch again.

Why does one need a watch? Aren’t cell phones the best thing? Watches are used to tell you the time more quickly and maybe that’s all. They are handy, but don’t let there cunning hands mess with your mind. Cell phones are great, but the less you take them out the less chance there is that you will break them, which is always a plus when carrying the iphone.

What should we do about Alice? Who is Alice? Am I talking about Alice Roosevelt or Alice in Wonderland?

You can’t trust those Alice’s. They are either eating up the world or going down rabbit holes. They are always bucking the conventions of the day or drowning in a pool of their own tears.

Such was the case of the Alice I once knew as well. She was a lively one. Very vigorous. We met at a show and it was a rather plain meeting, at the first.

As the night went on, I noticed that she was rather animated and fun, with an energetic and cheerful laugh, even boisterous, if you will. So began our friendship and adventures where we whisked ourselves from party to party, wine and dine, and pine and shine.

Twas a fateful night. The night I met Alice. Even more pronounced was the memory of having met earlier in life, when she was a young lass, still rather gangly.

Oh the pranks that Alice liked to play. She once snapped a foto of me and attached it to her head. She then proceeded to roam around town proclaiming that she was me. She received many laughs and mine own as well.

Oh, but she could be as stubborn as a mule. I once tried to get her to go to a performance of the late great Johann Enich Ulgrish. She had previously known the composer on more intimate terms and felt so constrained at the thought of merely sitting in on the performance, regardless of Johann’s ignorance of our presence in the crowd, that she swore never to speak to me again should I press the matter further.

It was nice knowing Alice. What a performance by Johann.

Do you ever get all nestled into bed for a long winters rest after a long day of family and a 5 hour drive? Was that nice? I bet it was, I’ll even wager that you slept in till around 10 am or so and didn’t even care. Ah… that sounds real nice.

Well, I remember just last week, when we came home from that very scenario, nestled in the bed with our youngest boy. The feeling of the warm covers, the smell of my pillow after a long week away, the feel of the next day being open to sleep in. Drifting into sleep, I am taken swiftly to a sweet dream filled with white puffy clouds and puppies rolling and playing in the tall meadow grass. Just then, I hear a brook and I wander over to see it and find that the water is warm. I jump into the water, swim over to a little waterfall, and play in the falling water. I notice that the water has a fragrance… it is not a pleasant smell at all. As a matter of fact it is quite horrible, it smells like… like…. VOMIT! All over me!!

My son who, might I add, was sleeping in between my wife and I, coughed so hard and with his head cocked back that he threw up like a fire hydrant. And no, not like a fire hydrant on a hot day in the middle of the summer, but more like a fire hydrant after you just warmed up from a run. The water from said hydrant was hot and smelled of old meat and stagnant dairy.

My kids tend to vomit like a tidal wave on some rocks, wet and pissed off! It is never in a trash can or a toilet and it usually finds its way up the walls, behind car seats, and all over my face!

There are ways to avoid kids and vomit:

-Don’t have kids.
-Don’t take your kids out of your home (this will help them to stay well).
-Don’t let your kids sleep in your bed. No matter how tired and lazy you are.
-Don’t feed your kids things that will knowingly compromise their immune systems and then wonder why they are sick.

I would love to see your suggestions on this subject. Please let us know how you deal with your kids vomit.

What is our world coming to when we cannot get the basics of language? What is happening to the edumacation system in America? All around us we hear “your”, when it should be “you’re” and “its”, when it should be “it’s”. This epidemic is overtaking co-workers, neighbors, friends, and even family… family I tell you!!

Now, now. I realize many a mistake is made as you just happen to be typing fast and not paying attention to what you are typing. You are texting while driving and a stray “your” gets sent, when it should have been “you’re”. What’s that? You’re not sure when to use “you’re” or “your”? If you are able to read this right now then you’re well able to get it… and if not, then you are killing me.

It’s not so much a matter of seeing it, as it is a matter of saying it. It’s nice to pronounce contractions in your mind or read out loud in your mind. Do you ever do that? Read out loud in your mind? It’s like you are reading out loud, but you are not reading out loud… but in your mind you are reading out loud. If you practice, it’s its own therapy for your contraction ills. Did you like that last one? I thought so.

Well, I hope you’re on your way to a better understanding of when to say “its”, “it’s”, “your” and “you’re”. It’s high time I go now because Cari made us homemade pumpkin bread and its aroma is intoxicating.

Inspiration for this inspirational message was provided by Shanna at Food Loves Writing… and supposedly her co-worker as well.